There is an old saying that distance does to love what the wind does to fire: extinguishes the small, inflames the big. But what the saying doesn't say is that too much distance hardens the heart, regardless of the size of the love. Overcoming disappointment can be very difficult when we like someone but aren't reciprocated, and maybe you're lost in a vicious cycle of pain and suffering. But don't despair! Forgetting someone is never easy, but a few helpful methods can help you move forward and find someone better for you.
Method 1 of 2: Moving away from the person
Step 1. Get away from the person you care about
One of the most effective ways to overcome a passion is to distance ourselves. Minimize any contact or even opportunity for contact with the person to eliminate any lingering attachment that could sadden you or strengthen your feelings.
Detaching yourself will be difficult at first, but in the end it will be worth it and will make the overcoming process easier and faster
Step 2. Delete this person's contact information and messages from your phone
One way to ensure that you don't keep any contact is to delete the date and all the date information. Also consider deleting any text messages you may have exchanged. Excluding all of this will be a way to avoid contacting her in a moment of weakness, as well as eliminating any possible reminders of unrequited passion.
- If you don't have the courage to erase all the information right away, consider writing it down on a piece of paper you won't see all the time and keeping it in a safe place.
- Send copies of her text messages to your email and archive them if you're not ready to delete them altogether.
- Keep in mind that even if you delete contact information, the other person might not do the same. If she tries to call or send you a message, decide between not replying or sending a brief, polite reply, both options are valid.
Step 3. Delete the person from social media
The large number of social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram makes us more accessible to others, even to those people we don't want to keep in touch with. By eliminating this unrequited passion from your social networks, you can further limit the amount of contact people have with them.
If you're afraid of hurting the person or that others will question why you deleted or unfollowed someone on social media, find a way to minimize the information you see on these sites. For example, on Facebook, simply unsubscribe from your old crush's posts so you can be sure you don't get any updates from him
Step 4. Stop talking about the person and don't allow yourself to think about them
When we like someone, it's natural to want to talk about it and think a lot about our object of affection, but that will only strengthen those feelings even more. Making a conscious effort not to mention this passion in conversation and to think of something else whenever you find yourself thinking about it will help you get over it more quickly.
- Not mentioning the old flirting in conversation can be difficult, especially if you have mutual friends, but try not to talk about the person or ask how they are too often. You can also withdraw from conversations about her.
- Go ahead if you need to talk about passion to process thoughts and feelings, but don't make it a regular habit.
Step 5. Ask friends not to mention you
They may occasionally mention it if they are aware of your feelings, but this will only remind you of this passion even more, hampering your ability to move beyond it. So ask friends not to mention or share news about the person whenever possible.
There are likely to be situations where the name of the former flirting is mentioned, especially in groups of mutual friends. To overcome heartbreak more quickly, move away from groups of them until the topic of conversation has changed
Step 6. Avoid places frequented by the person or their friends
You may have a lot in common, including friends, courses, workplace, or favorite places, but always try to avoid situations where you risk finding her.
- Don't sit close to her if you have classes together or work at the same company. If she feels on your side, find an excuse to move or act cordially.
- Try new places to eat if you both like the same restaurants.
Step 7. Get rid of tangible memories
Getting rid of any memories can help you overcome unrequited passion. Eliminate any trace of that person's existence, from their phone and social media profiles to photographs and other memories you have at home.
- Eliminate it suddenly and once for a lifetime or take a more gradual approach. Gradually removing the memories may be easier emotionally, but you can also get rid of all traces of the person at once. The last option will be very difficult, but it could speed up the overcoming process.
- Delete emails or get rid of letters, cards and gifts. Keeping things like that makes you keep feelings too.
- Delete any photo of the person or the two of you together.
Step 8. Allow yourself to suffer and don't be angry
Getting over a crush is a painful process and grieving over the end of a relationship is completely acceptable. However, it's also important not to be angry with the person - just as you can't control your feelings for them, they can't control how you feel about you.
- Accept that passion was important in life. Even if you haven't been in a love relationship, you still had some kind of relationship. It's normal to feel sad about the loss of a relationship.
- Don't be mad at the person. Perhaps she is not even aware of your feelings or is in a situation where she is not able to respond to them. Don't be angry about something she can't control.
- There are several reasons why someone needs to get over a crush, such as finding out she was dating or married, not having parental permission to date, or simply being too young for the person in question. You have no control over any of these factors, and you shouldn't be angry about them.
- Remember that you can always seek advice if you are experiencing a lot of difficulties during the process.
Step 9. Know that you are going to meet someone
There are a lot of fish in the sea, and in the end, the person is not for you. The faster you get over unrequited love, the faster you can open your heart to find the right person.
Focusing on flirting's shortcomings can help you overcome it and possibly even find someone more suitable for you
Method 2 of 2: Distracting Yourself
Step 1. Count on a support network
You're probably not at your best when you're trying to forget someone important, so this is a good way to rely on family and friends - and even to re-establish lost bonds. Loved ones can help you get over your disappointment quickly by talking about your feelings and distracting you with fun activities.
Friends and family will prevent sadness from taking over your life. They can be an excellent distraction and encourage you to do fun activities that don't involve the person
Step 2. Focus on yourself and your interests while trying to let go of that passion
You may soon realize that you no longer feel anything for your old crush.
- For example, start exercising or try some new activity, such as yoga, that will also help you focus your mind on something else. Also consider taking a course that helps you at work.
- Regardless of what you do, remember to always be happy with yourself.
Step 3. Try new activities
This is also a good time to try different activities that can distract you from feelings of disappointment. The more things you can do to distract your mind, the faster you can get over this passion.
For example, maybe you've always dreamed of learning to climb mountains. This new activity will take a lot of practice and give you little time to think about the passion that didn't work
Step 4. Meet new people
Going out and meeting new people who have no relationship with the one who broke your heart is a good way to distract yourself. Maybe you'll find yourself having more fun with these new friends than you ever had with your old crush.
There are many different ways to meet new people, like joining a running group or having happy hours in different bars. Group activities are a great way to meet other people and get unrequited love out of your mind
Step 5. Consider flirting or dating other people
You may not be ready to commit fully to someone, but flirting or casually hanging out with other people can also help you get over your heartbreak more quickly. This will increase your self-confidence and distract you from these feelings.
Harmless flirting can help you gain more self-confidence and remind you that there are other people in the world you can connect with. Just remember to keep flirting light and fun
- Try not to be rude. Respond kindly if the person is polite to you and says "hi". Just don't go beyond that.
- Remember that it's okay to cry when we're sad. You will find another love.
- Avoid getting angry or treating the person as an "enemy". Like you, she has no control over her feelings, and we must never hurt anyone on purpose.
- Be patient. Sometimes it takes a while to forget about someone. Don't be mad at yourself if this happens. Just take your time.
- Accept that the person is not as perfect as you thought. Look for defects or always remember them, so the negatives will outweigh the positives. If she has a fault, such as being impatient or disrespecting you or other people in authority (such as her mother or father), realize that she would also act like that in a relationship.
- Think about everything she did to harm you.
- Show her what she's missing. You will get distracted and make the person a little jealous.
- Make a list of all her faults.
- Avoid keeping in touch with the person's siblings, if they have any, as they are likely to end up talking about her.
- Accept that you like someone. The brain and heart have a hard time letting go of a passion completely. Try to lose interest little by little and you will be able to reach your goal.