Rejection is a normal part of the dating world, believe me. Everyone will go through this at one time or another. As much as you are hurt or embarrassed, know that it is possible to work on this issue and regain your confidence. Come on?
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Asking her out without high expectations
Step 1. Remember that the girl can say yes or no
When asking her out, remember that she can refuse your request for any reason, just as you have that right. Keep calm and relax, even if she doesn't want to go out with you.
Step 2. Accept that rejection happens to everyone
It's an unavoidable part of love life, and everyone goes through it. If you want to go out and date someone, you have to accept the possibility of hearing a no. Before asking a girl to go out with you, remember:
- Rejection is a normal part of life.
- Everyone gets rejected at one time or another.
- Having an invitation declined is not a personal failure.
Step 3. Call her out very clearly
When you're ready, approach the girl with confidence and ask her on a date. It's important to make your romantic intentions clear: you don't have to use cheesy pickup lines or anything like that, just be honest about your feelings.
- If possible, ask her for a specific date, such as "Want to go to the movies with me?" It's best to avoid ambiguous questions like "Want to go out there?"
- Even if you're afraid, don't stall. The more time that passes, the greater will be the nervousness about possible rejection.
Step 4. Accept her answer
If the girl says "no", don't ask her to reconsider. Accept the girl's decision to show that you respect her. This will also help you move forward.
- If she says "no", respond with something like "Oh, great." or "It's okay. I hope we can stay friends."
- If the girl is mean or trying to embarrass you, that's her problem. Put an end to the conversation in a polite way and leave.
Part 2 of 3: Dealing with Rejection
Step 1. Remember that the girl's lack of interest is not a personal attack
In most cases, romantic rejection doesn't have much to do with you. If the girl has decided she doesn't want to date you, that doesn't mean she doesn't like you or think you're ugly. Each case is different, but it's important to remember that she didn't reject you, she rejected your dating request.
Step 2. Allow yourself to suffer a little
It's normal to feel a whirlwind of emotions after rejection, so don't hold them back. Sadness, fear and nervousness are some natural feelings, and working with them will help you move forward in similar situations in the future.
- Don't be afraid to cry or scream when you're alone. Get it all out!
- If you can, discuss your feelings with a friend, family member, or therapist. Sharing what you're feeling with a supportive and understanding person can make a huge difference to your mental well-being.
Step 3. Think about what made her say no
As much as thinking about rejection hurts, it will help you understand what happened and get over it. If you think the girl said no because she doesn't like something about you, think about whether it's something you should change or whether it's a simple matter of preference. Also, remember that there are many reasons for her to refuse your request, such as:
- She is too busy to date.
- She has a different sexual orientation than you.
- She is dealing with personal or emotional issues.
- She is already in a relationship.
- She has another crush.
- She likes to be single.
Step 4. Be kind, even if things get awkward
If you see the person a lot, it's normal to feel some discomfort after rejection. In time, the situation will cool down and your friendship will return to normal. Until then, keep your civility and be as nice as possible.
- Say "hi" when you come across her.
- Smile and ask how she's doing.
- Treat her like a friend and eventually you will feel good in each other's presence.
Part 3 of 3: Moving on with life
Step 1. Spend your time with other people
In some cases, rejection is what you need, as it will help you find happiness on your own or through friendships. To get out of the cesspool, have fun with your friends and attend social events you would normally run away from. If you feel like it, ask someone else on a date.
Maybe you can find another girl who has more to do with you? Ask her out
Step 2. Keep busy following your hobbies
To get started, choose a new activity or take up a past hobby. If that doesn't help distract your mind, set a personal goal and go for it. The busier you are, the easier it will be to get over rejection. Some suggestions for goals:
- Train to participate in a marathon or some other sporting event.
- Create an artistic work, such as a short story, a painting or even a short film.
- Learn a new skill such as woodworking or cooking.
Step 3. Ask the girl out again if you believe her feelings have changed
The fact that she turned him down once doesn't mean his chances are over. After the first "no", give her a little space and try to be a good friend. If they get a little closer or she starts flirting with you, ask her out again.