Infidelity is a serious betrayal of trust in any monogamous relationship. It doesn't matter whether or not you have the opportunity to cheat on your partner without being found out - when a person feels like being unfaithful, the best thing to do is to consider whether they really want to stay in the relationship. Maybe love has ended, or your current state of mind just doesn't allow for a monogamous relationship - regardless of the reason, the best option will always be to end it all before you get to the point of betraying someone's trust. However, if you are determined to move forward, a few steps can help you keep your affairs quiet and eliminate any suspicions if your partner becomes suspicious.
Part 1 of 2: Avoiding arousing suspicion
Step 1. Think twice
A person may have several reasons to feel like cheating: perhaps he is angry with his partner; feel that you are stuck in a lukewarm and dull relationship; made a commitment too early, when it was not yet ready; or perhaps you are taking your own frustrations out on the relationship, even though they have nothing to do with dating or marriage itself. However, infidelity has many negative consequences.
- You may even believe that it's possible to cheat without being discovered, but even if the other person never suspects anything, some studies indicate that unfaithful partners constantly suffer from high levels of guilt or shame.
- While many couples are able to overcome relationship problems after discovering a betrayal, many relationships are destroyed by a loss of trust.
- Above all, think about how much your loved one will suffer if you end up discovering the truth, and give up on the plan if you are unwilling to accept your responsibility for their suffering.
- Even after an eventual breakup, the repercussions of cheating can haunt your partner in future relationships, preventing him from being fully happy with other people.
- In addition, you can lose respect from friends and family if you are unmasked, and that consequence will be quite painful. Don't let your loved ones down.
- Have a frank conversation with your partner if you are really unhappy in the relationship. Make an action plan to make things better or end the relationship so you can find a new love.
- However, if you have not yet given up on the idea of betrayal, please take the points below into consideration.
Step 2. Create a new email address
One of the easiest and most careless ways to be exposed is to leave evidence of infidelity in easily accessible places.
- The new e-mail must be used solely for communication with your lovers, who must be the only people who know about it.
- The new address would turn into something familiar if you started using it to receive junk mail or to sign up for sites and services, so don't do that - you need to feel a little hesitant opening that email.
- That way you will always remember to log out when you are done accessing messages.
- Chat with your lover only through this account - never use another one under any circumstances.
- Keep your default email connected to your computer, just as you normally would. So your partner won't find anything there if he gets suspicious and decides to eavesdrop on your messages.
Step 3. Clear your browser history, but only partially
Whenever you visit any page related to your case, take a moment to clear these sites from your browsing history. This doesn't just involve the new email address - delete any websites related to your lover, such as pages with reviews for a restaurant where you want to take them to dinner, directions to a park where you intend to meet the other person, motel or hotel reservation sites, etc.
- Never completely erase your browsing history, as this would raise suspicion - no one keeps the history completely empty.
- Instead, view the visit logs and delete all suspicious websites as soon as you finish accessing them.
Step 4. Use "private browsing" mode
The best way to avoid oversights and not leave any evidence of infidelity behind is to use the "private browsing" option whenever you want to do something hidden.
- This option is available in most popular browsers such as Safari, Chrome, Firefox, Opera, and Explorer - they all allow the user to browse without leaving a trace on the computer.
- Note that this does not guarantee complete anonymity while browsing - sites will still have access to all visitors' IP addresses. Therefore, you may see targeted ads based on your “private” browsing.
- To prevent targeted ads from arousing your partner's suspicions, remember to close all private browsing windows whenever you're done using them. This will eliminate all cookies that could generate ads of this type.
Step 5. Keep your cell phone locked
You'll have no reason to worry if your phone is already locked and no one else knows the password, but you'll need to take action if you've never had the habit of locking your phone or if your partner is used to knowing your unlock password.
- Create a plausible excuse to justify blocking your cell phone from now on. Explain that some coworkers took out their phone and found intimate photos of you, or that they sent a bunch of cute text messages to various people on your contact list.
- If your partner already knows the cell phone password, suddenly refusing to share it would cause great mistrust. So don't change the password, but don't use the phone for any suspicious activity either.
- If you need to chat with your lover via mobile, use the mobile browser's private option to access the "cheating" email. Remember to always log out of the email, close the window and delete cookies when you have finished accessing.
Step 6. Avoid using your cell phone as much as possible
Your partner may be suspicious if you start receiving multiple phone calls and text messages from the same phone number, so keep calls brief and only send messages when necessary. Most of the communication should take place through the e-mail created especially for this.
Step 7. Buy another cell phone and use a prepaid chip
A prepaid phone will allow you to communicate freely with your lover without worrying about the bill coming home at the end of the month, but this measure is highly risky because any partner would be suspicious if they found a strange cell phone in their loved one's belongings.
- Be incredibly careful if you decide to use a cell phone with a prepaid chip.
- Have an excuse on your tongue to explain the presence of the phone in case your partner discovers the phone. Say that your coworker left his cell phone at the office and that you forgot to return it, for example.
Step 8. Don't use your credit card to make suspicious purchases
Any doubtful charges, such as hotel rooms and out-of-town businesses, will show up on the monthly bill. Unusually expensive purchases, such as dinner for two at a fancy restaurant, could also raise suspicion. So always use cash for secret transactions and don't leave any traces behind.
Step 9. Purchase condoms and any other type of contraceptive method separately
In a monogamous relationship, there is no plausible reason for the number of condoms or any other contraceptive method to start increasing or decreasing overnight. Too much or too little condoms are a big warning sign, so any method of protection used with a lover should be kept apart from others.
- Buy condoms separately when having sex with your lover.
- Buy small packages or individual condoms instead of large packages, as you don't want to get caught with a bunch of condoms in your car.
- Throw unused condoms in the trash so you don't have to go home with some of them in your pocket.
Part 2 of 2: Eliminating Any Suspicions
Step 1. Laugh at suspicion instead of getting angry
Anger will signal a negative reaction to the accusation rather than simple surprise or confusion. Irritation can also turn any conversation into a fight, which consequently has the potential to linger and stay in your partner's head for quite a while. So if you want to avoid an argument that triggers negative and lasting memories, the best thing to do is keep a cool head during the conversation.
- Do not laugh evilly or make fun of suspicions.
- Simply act as if you are surprised or confused by the distrust, as if you never realized you were acting strange.
Step 2. Talk about suspicions
Don't run away from the conversation after your initial reaction of confusion and surprise, or your spouse may feel that you don't take their feelings seriously - a resentment that, like the fight, can also linger and intensify, so deal with the issue immediately.
- Explain that you are sad to know that the other person feels that way and that you had no idea that you were causing feelings of insecurity in them.
- Listen carefully and let her voice any concerns - don't interrupt her or get defensive.
- Pay attention to the person's specific suspicions, as they point to mistakes you've been making when hiding the betrayal.
Step 3. Promise to make an effort to deal with distrust issues
A good partner would feel bad about themselves for making the other worried, so make it clear that you will strive to be more considerate going forward, even though your loved one has no reason to feel insecure.
Step 4. Change some suspicious attitudes
If you let the other person talk freely and openly, they may list all of your specifically suspicious behavior. She could be even more suspicious if you simply changed certain attitudes all of a sudden, but if you two have a frank conversation about the problem and you promise to change, your partner will interpret the change as a sign of willingness to make the relationship. succeed.
- However, drastic and complete lifestyle changes will give the impression that you are overreacting or, worse, that you have a bad conscience for some reason - so avoid very dramatic changes.
- Just change enough to demonstrate that you are making an effort to preserve the trust in the relationship.
Step 5. Close the case or ask for time
If you feel your partner is on the verge of discovering the truth, perhaps it's time to put an end to this relationship, or at the very least, to ask for time until the danger is behind you. Your loved one may remain suspicious, even after you talk about your own concerns and hear promises that you will address the issues in the relationship-so don't take unnecessary risks.
In the end, the best way not to get caught cheating is to not cheat. Keep this in mind and decide if you won't be happier single, having lots of casual relationships, or maybe even an open relationship (provided you learn to be honest)
- Infidelity tends to destroy relationships, so don't cheat on someone you still want by your side.
- Even if the two remain together after discovering the betrayal, you will still need to work hard to rebuild the lost trust, and the relationship will likely never be the same again.
- Infidelity can be emotionally devastating for the betrayed person. You probably don't "hate" your partner, so you should be considerate of their feelings and end the relationship if you're not happy, rather than resorting to infidelity.
- The pain caused by the betrayal may haunt your partner for a long time, reverberating in her other relationships. Don't destroy her ability to trust others - it's much easier to overcome a breakup than a betrayal.