13 Ways to Deal Spiritually with Your Husband's Betrayal

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13 Ways to Deal Spiritually with Your Husband's Betrayal
13 Ways to Deal Spiritually with Your Husband's Betrayal

If you've recently discovered that your husband has had an affair, it's understandable to feel a whirlwind of intense emotions: anger, loss, or even uncertainty about what to do with your life. Although the problem doesn't have a concrete or simple solution, it may be easier to overcome what happened using your faith in God. Take the opportunity to call on the important people in your life - and never feel obligated to go through anything on your own. And of course, read the tips in this article too!


Method 1 of 13: Feel all the emotions that arise in your heart

Deal with a Cheating Husband Spiritually Step 1

Step 1. Be patient to process what you are feeling

It's not because you trust God that you need to be strong all the time! Never try to suppress your emotions: if you are sad, cry; if you are angry, scream; and so on. It may be that the Lord has a lesson to teach you through this pain. So ask Him for help to grow from the experience. See two examples:

  • If your heart is overflowing with anger, maybe it's because God is giving you the chance to reach out to Him for peace.
  • If you feel like crying on the shoulders of your friends, maybe God is showing you which of the people in your life are willing to reach out right now.

Method 2 of 13: Seek comfort in God

Deal with a Cheating Husband Spiritually Step 2

Step 1. Ask God to bring strength and grace into your life

Discovering a betrayal can turn your world upside down. You may not know whether you want to stay with your husband or whether you prefer a divorce, as feelings are still confused and obscure. Still, try to seek comfort in God at this time. He will be able to guide your decisions.

  • It's not always easy to feel a connection with God at such difficult times in life. Even if your faith is shaken, pray and ask Him for guidance regarding your next steps.
  • Psalm 46:1 shows how God helps his followers in times of trouble: "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble."

Method 3 of 13: Ask your husband to explain what happened

Deal with a Cheating Husband Spiritually Step 3

Step 1. Don't be obsessed with discovering unnecessary details

You may even want to understand some of the basic facts behind your husband's affair-such as who he was involved with, how long it lasted, and when it all started-but don't insist on knowing intimate or sordid details. These images will stick in your head and mess up all the emotional healing. Ask God for the wisdom to discern what is helpful and what is not. Then just ask your spouse what you really need.

  • For example: say something like "I need to know a few things: how many other partners have you had since we met, whether sex was safe, and whether I need to be tested for STIs."
  • Try to stay calm when talking to your husband. If emotions run high, leave the dialogue for later.
  • It may be better to enlist the help of a mediator, such as a couples therapist or church leader.

Method 4 of 13: Ask your husband why he cheated on you

Deal with a Cheating Husband Spiritually Step 4

Step 1. There is no excuse for what your husband did, but there is a chance that you will understand the situation better if you know why

A committed person can cheat on your spouse for a variety of reasons-and while not all are clear and easy to understand, at least you'll be able to process your feelings better or get a sense of where things have started to go wrong.

  • For example, you might say something like "Were you unhappy with our marriage?" or "Did she offer something I didn't?"
  • Don't be alarmed if you and your husband take the time to understand why he has betrayed your trust. That's why it pays to have the support of a spiritual leader or couples therapist.

Method 5 of 13: Don't blame yourself for what happened

Deal with a Cheating Husband Spiritually Step 5

Step 1. None of this is your fault

Even if you made a mistake that contributed to your husband's unhappiness, he was the one who made the decision to get involved with someone else. Don't take that responsibility, or the situation could very well happen again.

It is normal to feel that you could have acted differently, such as paying more attention to your spouse or being more understanding. Consider this in the future, but don't forget: the fact that he betrayed your trust is not your fault

Method 6 of 13: Talk to someone you trust about what you are feeling

Deal with a Cheating Husband Spiritually Step 6

Step 1. Express your emotions to your husband

You don't have to keep everything to yourself: it's your right to show your spouse how much he has hurt your heart. However, since he may be dealing with his own feelings of guilt or even adopting a defensive position, you'd better turn to someone else who is willing to listen to his outbursts and help process the entire episode.

  • Refer to a spiritual leader in the church. This person may have spiritual advice that is helpful for you.
  • Do your best to seek advice from someone who is also faith-based.

Method 7 of 13: Be patient with yourself

Deal with a Cheating Husband Spiritually Step 7

Step 1. Don't expect the hurt to go away overnight

Going through a betrayal is often a very impactful experience, and it can even lead to a form of post-traumatic stress. If you have a hard time getting over the hurt, it will start to affect many aspects of your daily life. In any case, use your faith in God and the people who support your happiness, but don't be in a hurry.

Do your best to continue taking care of your day-to-day responsibilities, such as going to work and providing for your children. Just don't blame yourself for not being able to keep up the same pace as before

Method 8 of 13: Record what you feel on paper

Deal with a Cheating Husband Spiritually Step 8

Step 1. Keeping a journal can go a long way in your emotional healing process

The diary is a particular way of expressing yourself without fear of being judged by people. So record everything you are experiencing, thinking and feeling.

You can also include some Bible verses in your journal. On tense days, read some of them and pray to God for comfort

Method 9 of 13: Pray for your husband

Deal with a Cheating Husband Spiritually Step 9

Step 1. Even if it's complicated to pray for your husband, try to channel God's grace

Of course, your spouse has given in to temptation, but just think: even if you've never cheated on him, you've probably been through your times of temptation too. It may not be time to grant forgiveness, but ask God to keep you from sin. Who knows, in the future, this story will not become a proof of the goodness and compassion of the Lord?

Keep praying for your husband even if you decide you want a divorce. Remember the instructions Jesus gave his followers in Luke 6:28: "Bless them that curse you, and pray for them that slander you."

Method 10 of 13: Spend time away from your spouse

Deal with a Cheating Husband Spiritually Step 10

Step 1. Ask your spouse for time and space if you need to reflect

It may take you a while to process what you're feeling or even decide whether or not you can trust your husband again. Depending on the case, it may be better for him to spend time away from home. During this time, keep talking to him and find out if there are any signs of remorse, accountability, and dedication to restoring trust between the two of you.

Pay attention not just to your spouse's words but to your actions. If he's really trying to prove that he wants to repair the relationship (by keeping his promises, for example), that's a good sign for the future

Method 11 of 13: Decide if you want to stay with your spouse

Deal with a Cheating Husband Spiritually Step 11

Step 1. Take as much time as you need to make your decision

Don't be in a hurry to reach a decision, especially if your marriage has produced children and other fruits. Think carefully about what happened (and even why), as well as what you need emotionally to rebuild your relationship. Pray to God and talk to people you trust, but ultimately make your choice.

  • If you decide to give marriage a chance, consider what you can do to strengthen the bonds. In the meantime, set clear boundaries on what is and isn't acceptable.
  • If your husband gets defensive or doesn't seem repentant-or if you can't trust him again-it's best to end the marriage. This decision is justifiable, since the Bible itself says that adultery is a legitimate reason for divorce.

Method 12 of 13: Seek a support group for victims of adultery

Deal with a Cheating Husband Spiritually Step 12

Step 1. It is very important that you have someone to turn to

Chatting with friends helps a lot, but knowing stories of people who have gone through the same experience can be even better. Try to find out if there are support groups in your area. Hopefully, some spiritual leader or brother in the church will also be able to indicate something.

If you can't find anything nearby, look for groups that meet online

Method 13 of 13: Get in therapy to forgive your husband

Deal with a Cheating Husband Spiritually Step 13

Step 1. Forgiveness is an important part of this process

In Luke 6:37, Jesus says, "Judge not, and ye shall not be judged; condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned; let go, and they shall release you." It's not easy, but it's important to be able to put the pain aside and see your spouse as a person who made a mistake. Remember that God forgives everyone for their sins and expects us to do the same to each other. On the other hand, if you have a hard time doing it yourself, seek therapy to better deal with your emotions.

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