Letting go of someone you love is very difficult. Changes can be tricky, especially when you distance yourself from a person you loved or had deep feelings for. However, by noticing that the time has come to let go of it, it is possible to fix the situation and work towards a new beginning and a new “me”.
Method 1 of 2: Assessing Your Situation
Step 1. Face reality
Unfortunately, most people You know who need to practice letting go, but they can't because of the consequences. Assessing the situation and facing reality can help you realize that it's time to let go of a dead-end relationship.
- In order not to run away from what needs to be done, imagine that you are someone else and that you are watching your own situation. What does she know about what's going on? Is the answer obvious to such a person? If so, you should already know the right decision to make.
- If you have difficulty withdrawing from the situation and looking at it from an outsider's point of view, change the names of the people involved. Pretend that you have another name and also change some of your own characteristics, so that you are not so “you”. The goal is to create a shallow distance between yourself and this other “you”. Do the same with the individual you want to let go of.
- Imagine a scenario similar to what you were in, but this time happening to a friend and his partner. What advice would you give? Do you think it would be reasonable to say it was time for him to move on?
Step 2. Ask other individuals for opinions
Ask a friend, family member or professional (psychologist, therapist, etc.) if you feel comfortable, what he would do in your place and if he has been in any similar situation before.
- It's important to be honest with him, not judging him by the response he gets. After all, you are looking for the right way to resolve the situation, not for an answer that makes you feel better.
- Ask him if he honestly thinks his actions are appropriate. Ask him to give you a real answer if he thinks it's your fault for the disagreement you and the person in question have had.
- Go to your health insurance website or do an internet search to find a therapist or psychologist in the region where you live.
Step 3. Analyze the situation
Write down everything you are feeling and thinking in a journal. Know that only you will read this journal, so it is important to be completely honest. Look for patterns in writing; Did you notice that you blame yourself for everything? If so, think about whether there is any real merit in such attitudes or whether the partner was wrong too.
- As you write in your journal, ask yourself a few specific questions so that you can clarify whether it's time to let go. Does the partner imply that he is unwilling to commit to the relationship, or threatens to end it to gain an advantage over you? Is he jealous of your success instead of being happy? Are you cheating? Does one need a different level of intimacy than the other? By putting these questions down on paper, thinking about them and answering “yes” to any of them, it is a sign that we need to go on with life. Writing in a relationship journal can also help you deal with a breakup or marriage, if that's the best way.
- After writing everything that comes to mind, read it again. The next day, review your reflections with a fresher head. If the same standards and opinions come to mind, what is written is probably true.
Step 4. Know when you are sabotaging yourself for an ideal
For example, when looking for perfection in a relationship and not settling for anything less, the problem is not with the partner or someone else, but with yourself. In that case, think carefully about how to change to make the relationship work.
- Be honest with your partner and say that you are struggling with unfair goals and that you just want to make your relationship work. It may be that he respects your candor and honesty and is much more willing to come to an understanding.
- To find out if you are hurting yourself for an ideal, ask friends, relatives, or acquaintances who are not influenced by the situation. Their advice will allow you to see if you are being too demanding or if your views on the relationship and your partner's mistakes have some basis.
- If you want, reflect on the following::
- Do you have (unrealistic) expectations that you should be sexually satisfied whenever you want?
- Is there an expectation (also unrealistic) that the partner should meet all your needs?
- Do you expect your partner to fulfill all your wishes?
Step 5. Be aware that not wanting to be with your partner is a warning sign
Caring less and less about what he did during the day, not wanting to be around him, or not respecting the person's opinion indicates that you no longer feel the same way about him. These signs represent that the time to let go may have arrived.
While it's difficult to let go of an individual, don't let guilt get you psychologically shaken; it's better to allow him to find someone who really cares for him and loves him rather than sticking around because he feels guilty
Method 2 of 2: Assessing the Relationship
Step 1. Look for signs
Indicators vary, but there are some clues that might suggest that it is time to let go and end the relationship. Watch out for constant behaviors such as jealousy, insecurity, fights, boredom, and general discomfort or unhappiness.
All of this signals that the relationship is not healthy. It's okay to disagree, but there's a very fine line between "healthy arguments" and "harmful disagreements."
Step 2. Analyze if fights are constant
If you both always fight for unimportant reasons, your partner may no longer feel attracted to you. However, this is not a definitive indication that things are going wrong, as many couples fight, but it may suggest that there are more problems in the relationship. Don't let silly little fights end the feelings between you; however, if such behaviors are constant, it may be time to let go.
When you realize you're thinking about ending the relationship because of too much fighting, think about some issues. Why do you disagree? What is the issue that causes the fights? Have there been any disagreements about this issue or is it something “unheard of”? If you notice that you are trying to hurt the other person, that disagreements occur over silly things, or that you always disagree about the same thing because of the difficulty in resolving the differences between the two, let go and get on with life
Step 3. See if one is constantly irritated with the other
When they both lose their heads when they fight, there is no sign of love or interest. You can tell your partner is uncomfortable with your actions when nothing you do feels right, or if some of your public decisions embarrass you. Someone who loves must always support the partner in their attitudes.
Remember that you should notice whether there is a constant irritable behavior or a constant pattern of discomfort in the partner. A single event should not serve as a base, as everyone gets frustrated with some attitude of a loved one from time to time
Step 4. Watch out for loss of communication
For a relationship to proceed, the two sides need to discuss issues and ideas; if the other person doesn't talk to you anymore, it may be time to let go (the partner needs to be honest about feelings and what he thinks). So, lack of emotional expression and communication sometimes signals that you should move on to the next one.
If you're in serious trouble but are sure you love the person, get couples therapy. This will help you reconcile the feelings you each have
Step 5. Listen to your partner
If he's brave enough to say he's no longer interested in having a relationship with you, listen to him. It can be a very complicated and painful process; however, the truth never hurts as much as being deceived. When someone has enough respect to be honest with you, be respectful too, letting go.
It's never easy to hear that you're not the “special person” your partner thought you were. However, in the long run, it's better to be with someone who really loves you for who you are
Step 6. Look for signs of betrayal
Sometimes your partner is texting a girl you don't know, or he comes home too late, his clothes impregnated with an unfamiliar scent. In certain cases, even an update of his profile on a dating site or messages flirting with someone on Facebook are indications that he is seeing someone else. If he finds "clues" to any of these behaviors, he may be cheating on you or planning to do so.
- Don't demean yourself by continuing your relationship with an individual who is cheating on you. At the first hint that the person is cheating, let go of them. You deserve better; follow your life and do your best to forgive her; otherwise, she will still have an emotional influence on you.
- If you are no longer happy to be with your partner, feeling that the happy moments have disappeared, make a decision. Once you get to it, talk to the person. Always find the truth about yourself and the feelings you have about your partner. Decide which option is best for both of you.
- Do what feels right, not what your friends advise. The situation only and exclusively affects you, so even with all the advice you receive – including this article – follow your heart after taking all the tips into account.
- Take your time and be right when making your decision. If you're not ready yet or think the reasons don't match anything above, don't give up, or you could end up ruining the relationship.
- It can be very difficult to let go, but you have to face reality. Yes, your desire is to be happy, but it is impossible to find happiness when you cling to something or someone that hurts you.
- Rest assured that you will not regret your decision. One of the quickest ways to lose someone's respect is to make a statement and step back. When setting limits on yourself, be prepared not to cross them.
- Missing an ex is a natural part of letting go. Give it time and you'll recover.
- When something hurts you more than it makes you happy, it's time to let go.
- Remember to take care of yourself and love yourself first and foremost. Letting go of someone can hurt, but you need to be concerned about your own well-being.
- Don't reconnect with the person, or you will end up subjecting yourself to a roller coaster of emotions, which never ends well.
- It might be a good idea to talk to this individual about letting go before you stop relating to him. Sometimes his behavior is related to something else, not you (like work, for example). If that's the case, it's important to talk about it so you don't screw up the relationship through misjudgment.