You just ended a relationship and want your ex-boyfriend to realize what you lost? Regardless of whether you want to get back together or not, do you want to show that he just lost a great girlfriend? Think about who the two of you are as a person and show him exactly what he's missing. The best way to do this is to focus on yourself, so get away from this guy, make positive changes in your own life, and embrace the full potential of new experiences.
Method 1 of 3: Setting Boundaries
Step 1. Keep your distance
It is not for him to decide when and if you will talk to each other again. Of course, it's important to respect any limits or requests the person has, but if they don't have any, it's up to you to decide when to talk to your ex-boyfriend again, whether by phone, text or email. It might be difficult at first, but with a little practice, keeping your distance will get easier and easier.
- Taking control over your initial interactions shows that he no longer has unrestricted access to you.
- After termination, wait at least a month before talking to him again.
- For example, if you used to text every time your then-boyfriend had a doctor's appointment to remind you to go, don't do that anymore. He will need to depend on his own schedule from now on.
- Don't call to say his favorite movie is on television. Instead, pop some popcorn and enjoy the show on your own.
Step 2. Accept the positive changes
A breakup is a good time to reinvent yourself a little, not for your ex or anyone else, but for yourself. Everyone deserves to start over. Maybe you were interested in joining a club or starting a new hobby - in which case, now is the perfect time. Or maybe you want to get back in touch with a person you haven't spoken to in a long time - again, now is the time. No matter what you decide to do, allow yourself to change and be even better than you were yesterday, and do it for yourself and no one else.
Your ex-boyfriend will notice these positive changes when he realizes you're moving on and growing up without him. Hopefully, he will be happy for you and regret not being a part of this change
Step 3. Define your relationship
It's important that both of you have a clear understanding of what the relationship is and isn't: either a couple is together or they're not. Keeping your word can be difficult, but let me know if you're together or if you're dating. There is no intermediate option and you should not be available for him to come back whenever he feels like it.
- It has to do with taking control of yourself and your emotional health.
- Say, "Now that we're done, we need to figure out what our relationship is and how we're going to interact with each other, if we're going to have any interaction at all. There can't be any ambiguity here because I need to put an end to this story."
Method 2 of 3: Boosting Your Self-Confidence
Step 1. Work out
Physical activity nourishes the body, mind and heart. Regardless of whether you like to exercise or not, don't give up ─ make it a habit. The body will become stronger, the brain will function better, and the heart will be nurtured.
Several gyms offer monthly contracts, meaning you can enjoy all the benefits of exercise without worrying about the pressure of a huge commitment like an annual membership
Step 2. Be sociable
Get out of the house, socialize and enjoy life. Use this opportunity to reconnect with people and activities that make you happy. This is also a good chance to discover new social activities that you've always been interested in. Chances are, your ex-boyfriend will hear rumors about your new social life or see photos online, and realize you're enjoying life without him.
- See your friends;
- Go out to dinner;
- Go to the theater;
- Attend festivals - do this on a day trip;
- Join a Meetup group;
- Join a club focused on a certain hobby.
- Be careful, don't post too many photos or you may look like you've lost any self-control after completion.
Step 3. Cultivate positive thoughts
Many people believe that thoughts are attractive, and when we think about good things, we attract positive energy into our lives. More importantly, the practice of positive thinking will teach you to silence those negative and insecure ideas that haunt us at the most unexpected times. Cultivating this mindset is a laborious habit, but the effort will be worth it.
- Start small. Pick a frequent negative thought and think about how you can turn it into something positive. Then, the next time that idea crosses your mind, push it away and put a positive thought in its place.
- For example, you may always think that you are not as talented as other people and that you will never be successful. Fight these negative ideas. They just express fear and anxiety, not a fact. Instead of letting your fears and worries get the better of you, correct this fear-driven idea. For example, say, "Everyone has a talent. I just need to find mine" and "There are many ways to be successful and I already have success in many areas of my life. I will look for ways to be successful every day and I will continue to find new ways to improve."
Step 4. Focus on your strengths
You have many qualities and you need to focus on them. Focusing attention on the things you do well will motivate you to move forward and succeed. Success is yours and no one can steal it. It's built on your talents, and like anything else, the more you practice, the better it will become. This continued growth will provide even more opportunities for personal growth and advancement.
- Reflect on your professional qualities, your personal talents or even your artistic skills. Combine all these strengths to develop something truly unique.
- For example, maybe you've been an amateur baker for many years, and you love sharing your cakes and cookies with friends or family. In that case, consider starting a blog talking about your recipes and baking techniques.
- Or maybe you have a great talent for organizing and handling complex tasks, and your coworkers always ask for your help in solving problems, especially when they seem too big. Take advantage of this skill and start your own business, working as a personal assistant or even life coaching.
- Maybe you're passionate about animals and want to spend more time with them – it seems like you have an empathetic connection. Use this talent and volunteer at an animal sanctuary or zoo.
Step 5. Know yourself
After a breakup, you may find yourself thinking "now what?", as you may have lost touch with yourself as a result of spending so much time sharing your experiences with someone else. Getting to know yourself and discovering who you really are, what you like and dislike, and even how you feel about political and religious issues is an essential step in moving forward, and when you move forward, your ex-boyfriend will realize what he lost.
- Start simply and make a list of everything you like to do for fun, what adventures you dream of having, your hobbies and dream trips. Create as many lists as needed. Reflecting on yourself and putting those thoughts down on paper will help you get to know yourself better.
- You can also meditate, in a more formal or casual way, by closing your eyes, taking deep relaxing breaths, and allowing yourself to sit quietly. Accept and calm your thoughts to be alone with yourself without any distractions.
Method 3 of 3: Having Fun
Step 1. Make new friends
Regardless of whether you have lost friends with the breakup or not, making new ones after a breakup is always a good idea. This doesn't mean you should get rid of your current friends, but rather expand your social circle. New friends will provide new experiences and will help you to distance yourself from your ex. He won't be able to monitor you if he doesn't belong to the same social circle as you, and that will give him a space to recover.
- The digital age has brought many new options for meeting new people. Join local groups on “Facebook” or “Meetup”, or join online forums. These groups can be based on common interests (books, movies, or a particular musical style), locations (cities, states, neighborhoods) or even experiences (maternity, divorce, veterans in the army).
- In addition, perhaps your city's bookstores and cafes also have regular meetings focused on a certain objective or interest.
- If you are still in high school or college, colleges and universities often have social, sports and academic clubs that all students can join.
Step 2. Indulge yourself
You deserve to do something you wouldn't normally do, so go ahead - pamper yourself a little, get out of the house, have a date with yourself, or maybe buy that bag you've been dating for a long time. Think of one or two things you'd really like to have and treat yourself.
- Try traveling or taking a vacation alone, or take a break to see a new place or experience a new experience.
- Give yourself a treat. Maybe it's time to get that massage pack or pan set you've always wanted to buy.
- Have a date with yourself - visit a bookstore, go to the movies or go out to dinner alone.
Step 3. Be kind to yourself
We know that kindness to others is important because it helps other people and makes us feel good, but don't forget to be kind to yourself, especially right now. You took care of others and now it's time to take care of yourself. Your ex-boyfriend will miss your kindness.
- Stop and buy a coffee on the way to work.
- Spend it on a new outfit, game, or sporting equipment.
- Praise yourself - find reasons to praise yourself daily.
- Be patient with yourself.
Step 4. Have fun
Although you want this young man to repent, the main focus should be on his own happiness. Get out of the house and have fun! Don't worry about it, you can't control how someone else feels, but you can have fun - hanging out with friends, playing mini golf, swimming, camping. Just go out and enjoy life.
Step 5. Create new habits
This process is a little more than just changing the routine. Creating new habits involves developing and repeating new positive behaviors that eventually become automatic. These new habits must be created for the sole purpose of improving your life and being happier. After all, happiness is good for you and an attractive quality to others.
- Habits can be focused on learning, like learning two new words of two foreign languages every morning or spending 20 minutes reading the news.
- They can also be more physical, like doing two minutes of push-ups and squats every day.
- Or they can also be spiritual, like reading a religious text for half an hour every night.
- Be friendly with your ex-boyfriend. Don't purposely ignore him, but keep your distance.
- He's the one who's missing out on someone as unique and special as you, so don't feel sorry for yourself. There are other guys in the world.
- Simply smile and always be happy. That could be one of the reasons he regrets having finished.
- Show you're better off without him.
- He will strive to win her back if he really wants to get back together. This guy has to work hard to win back your love because that's the only way he'll understand your importance in his life.
- If nothing works, enjoy single life.