Relationships often end up in a whirlwind of doubts and bitter accusations. You probably said some things you didn't mean, and she said others. Now that you've had a little time to think about what was lost, you want her back. If you dedicate yourself completely, you will be able to conquer it again. Fixing what was wrong is all it takes to prove you've changed.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Fix Your Life
Step 1. Get your life back on track
You've been in a relationship for a while, and maybe your girlfriend just broke up with you. It's a sad and lonely time for you right now, but focus on the things you can change about yourself before you get back to it.
- Girls want to see an improvement in boys. Maybe your girlfriend complained about something you did while you were in a relationship. Maybe there is something you know you can improve on simply because it will make you someone better. Well, now is the time to attack. Cut down on her playing time if that's what she wants, or start wearing cleaner clothes when you're with her. If you focus on being someone better while you guys are apart, you can come back to her with the "evidence" that you're a new guy.
- Recover emotionally. You have no chance of winning your ex again if you're not calm and emotionally in control. Women don't like needy, clingy, desperate men - so you need to get your life straightened out before you try to bring it back to her. Like it or not, showing her that you can handle your life alone will draw her back. This is because women like men who are self-sufficient and independent. So hit the gym, watch movies at the cinema with your friends, or start an adventure. If you're having fun, she'll want to be with you.
- Buy new clothes. New times require new clothes. It's a subtle change in you, but the importance will be clear to her: a new exterior will signal deep inner changes. Buy that new shirt you wanted, or those jeans. Being groomed is an important aspect of physical attraction and if she sees you dressing well in clothes she doesn't know, she will feel that there has been progress, if not a complete change.
Step 2. Have the right attitude
Winning back your ex-girlfriend starts with finding the right attitude. Girls, for the most part, want to see mature, independent, fun-loving men who know what they're good at. We know this is a lot of work, so start slowly if you think this is a lot.
- Stop being jealous. Being jealous won't get you anywhere. Jealousy is associated with fear and anxiety, two unattractive characteristics to have. Also, what you are communicating non-verbally is that you want to control her. Nobody wants to be controlled. So learn to fight jealousy if you can and focus on not being aggressive. You attract more bees with honey, not vinegar.
- Act like nothing is wrong. Even if you're thrashing around inside like clothes in a washing machine, try not to show it. She's probably not going to want you back if you're acting depressed, sullen, or grumpy. Make sure you laugh and try to have some real fun. You may find that you have become a happier person. If you're feeling depressed, surround yourself with friends or family. Don't stand alone in a corner and wait for her to come back to you.
- Develop a sense of humor. What do girls say they are most looking for in a guy? A sense of humor and a fun attitude. These two characteristics are attractive because they tell other people that you are juvenile and not aggressive. So learn some jokes if you can (friends are always there to listen) and save the ones that work and discard the ones that don't. Learn to make fun of yourself, confidently - not complaining. And for God's sake, be playful, especially when she's around. Play with her lovingly, or play a prank on a friend. You will notice the difference in her.
Part 2 of 3: Creating the Climate
Step 1. Leave her alone
At least for a while, give her time to think about your relationship. If you had a great relationship, she will think of all the good things you did for her and miss you.
- Cut off all communication with her. Maybe you don't want to talk to her for a few weeks, or maybe a month. This is hard and it will hurt, but it will actually hurt her more. It will also allow tempers to settle down if things were heavy when you broke up.
- You'll need to make room for her for three reasons: 1) People simply need space; if you can't make room for it, maybe that's what you should work on to show that you've changed. 2) She will have an opportunity to see how good you are; not that she didn't know it, but she might not feel it. 3) You will show her how independent you are; the "rebel" is so attractive to women because he is totally alone and doesn't need other people.
Step 2. Start talking to another girl
Don't do anything with her, but start a friendship. You need to increase your value by showing her that other girls like you and are attracted to you.
- Don't confuse this step with going after another girl. You want to go out and talk, do fun things together, but not stay. If you hook up with another girl, your chances of getting your ex back will go down a lot.
- Hang out with a group of girls. Show your ex that girls like to be around you. These girls will help you. If you can pull together a large group of popular, smart and savvy girls, chances are your ex will feel more interested, maybe even without realizing it.
Step 3. Find your inner alpha male
The alpha male, in nature, is the one within a group of primates who has the highest class and can choose his females.
Most girls are attracted to alpha males for deep biological reasons: they believe he can provide them better, protect them better, and give them more biologically prepared children. Even if you don't think alpha males are your ex's type, subtle changes can work for her: Work your chest a little, make an effort to work out your arms and thighs, and project strength
Part 3 of 3: Make the move
Step 1. Give her an excuse
Whether you broke up with her or the other way around, an apology is always good. It shows her that you are capable of swallowing her ego and that you care enough to say you were wrong. If done correctly, an apology can work wonders.
- Send her flowers. Girls love flowers for reasons men still don't understand. They die after a week and stay there, gathering dust. Well, chances are your ex probably loves flowers because they smell good and they're pretty and she can show them off to her friends and brag that someone cares about her. You want to be that someone.
- Send her a letter. Girls love letters too, because it takes a lot of time to write them and you have to express your feelings. Start by saying something like "I don't know if this letter will fix what's broken between us and maybe it never will. But I want you to know that I care about you too much and that I always will. That part has never changed. part that's changed is that I realize how dumb I was to let you go."
- Tell her in person. Set a time to meet in a public place, or a place you know she will be comfortable with. When it's time, say, "I know I made some mistakes during our relationship, and I wanted to admit full responsibility for them. I shouldn't have done [whatever you've done] to you and I feel awful now. But the biggest mistake I made was losing you. I don't expect anything from you, I just want you to know that."
Step 2. Slowly develop a friendship
Maybe some of the trust has been lost in your relationship and now is the time to start fixing it. Confidence is very important to girls. You want to show her that she can trust you again and that you are worthy of her trust.
- Do something nice for her without expecting anything in return. If she's studying late for an exam, show up with her favorite tea or coffee and let her know you know she's going to rock the next day. If one of her friends has an accident, stop by his house and show interest (the friend will definitely tell your ex that you showed up). If she mentions that she wants to see a movie, buy two tickets for her and a friend of hers, but don't invite yourself. Your time will come soon.
- Go out for tea or coffee with her. Ride your bike around town. Take a swim in the pool. Talk about things that you find funny, or that you like to talk about. Remember to act confident, be fun and be playful so she can see.
Step 3. Say you still have feelings for her
Once you've apologized and you're friends again, say you want her back. Try to pick a romantic place to do this and try to tell her that only you will be there. It won't hurt if you're at your best.
- Be honest about your feelings, but be reasonable. Don't say she was wrong in the relationship. Instead, focus on yourself. Tell her you've thought a lot about where you went wrong and show her how you've changed. Say you've become more patient, more forgiving, more aware of your flaws, and be sure to back up those statements with actions. If you say you have become more forgiving, be ready to show her that you are no longer pointing out the faults of others.
- You might say something like, "After we broke up I realized I was looking for love in the wrong places. I realized you gave me exactly what I need and it's really a shame I have to figure it out after we broke up. But I know now and I would be stupid not to try to win you over again, because you are exactly what I need."
- Or you might say something like, "You might not like it, but most of what I do today, I do for you. You've made me someone better. I understand what it's like to take care of someone now that I've been with you. I want to share this with you again, but better this time. Because I can't deny the fact that I still have feelings for you. I would be lying to myself and the world."
- Assure her that you can fix the problems that caused the breakup. Remember why you broke up so you can learn from your mistakes. Have a plan ready and discuss it with her. There is no reason to go back if you go through the same problems again. If you didn't listen to her feelings enough, make sure you're listening when you say you like her. If you didn't get along with her friends, make an extra effort to make it work. Have a plan to tackle what is likely to go wrong and you will be very impressed.
Tips
- Never fail to value things.
- Once she's back in your life, love her like it's your last day.
- Remind her of something funny she said, or did. She will love the fact that you remember these details.
- Make sure if you run into her, don't do it with your friends. Stop and talk to her, give her a hug and maybe a kiss and talk to her to catch up if you haven't seen each other in a while.
- To win her back just be yourself and do what you did to make her like you and give her something for Christmas, even if you're right and she's wrong. Telling her she's right and apologizing will make her feel good.
- When your ex gets back in touch, don't start talking about your relationship right away! Even if she desperately wants you back, she's probably not ready to talk about the breakup. Instead, talk to her like you've never dated and treat her like an old friend. This will help break the ice, make her feel more at ease, and allow you to slowly move her toward the idea of reconciliation without frightening her.
- Don't rush to get her back. It may take some time. Go easy at first and make sure she wants to get back together with you.
- Don't try to fight her. Ask what you did and try to improve.
- Don't force her, but be persuasive to make her believe that you've become a better person and that you won't make any more mistakes.