Ending a serious relationship is something that must be done personally. It's a matter of respect. However, there's nothing wrong with ending up by texting someone you've only dated a few times or with whom you only have a casual relationship, or if there's no other safe way to end the relationship. We know that going through a breakup is always a traumatic experience. That's why, in this article, we've put together a few things you should include in your closing message to make it mature and respectful.
Steps
Method 1 of 10: Start with a compliment
Step 1. Say nice things about your boyfriend to reduce the impact
However, be careful not to overdo it. Otherwise, you'll just confuse him. Talk about something cool you guys did together or give your future ex a general personality compliment.
- Try starting by saying, for example: “Hi, André! I love you buying me coffee last night.”
- Another example: “Hi, Joe! You seem like a nice, sensitive guy.”
Method 2 of 10: Start the next sentence with “To be honest”
Step 1. This will prepare the ground for the finish more gently
Make it clear that you're being honest and that you've thought long and hard before making your decision so that he doesn't get so upset. Be honest, but avoid saying very harsh things that might hurt you.
- Say, for example, "To be honest, I'm no longer interested in a love relationship."
- Another option: "To be honest, I don't think we have the same chemistry anymore."
Method 3 of 10: Say you don't match
Step 1. Be direct so he doesn't get confused about your feelings
Make it clear that you want to end the relationship. Avoid hints and vague messages during the conversation. It's always better to get your cards on the table right away, even if that doesn't always seem like the most polite option at the moment.
- Say, for example: “I don't think we will work”.
- Another option: “I don't think we have anything to do with each other. Maybe it's time to finish.”
Method 4 of 10: Explain your reasons, if you like
Step 1. Briefly explain why you are breaking up prevents the other person from questioning your decision
You can either give a vague reason or go into detail, but remember that it's not your job to give him satisfaction. It's okay if you just say you don't feel like it.
- Say, for example: “I don't think we match. This relationship is not working."
- Another example: “We have been fighting more and more. I don't want a relationship like that."
Method 5 out of 10: Speak only for yourself
Step 1. Focus on your feelings instead of blaming it on your boyfriend
Avoid making a list of all his faults so as not to hurt him. Talk about how you are feeling and what you want to do. After all, whoever is breaking up with him is you. Take responsibility for your decisions.
- Instead of saying, for example, "You spend too much time with your friends," say, "I feel abandoned when you go out and don't call me."
- Say, "I don't think we're able to communicate," not "You're always looking for a fight."
Method 6 of 10: End with some positive points from the relationship
Step 1. Say some nice things at the end to let him know that you also enjoyed the time you spent together
Even at break-up time, it's important to remember the good times you had with your partner. Talk about how the relationship has impacted your life or made you a better person. This will make it clear that you care about his feelings and that the relationship was important to your life.
- Say, for example, “You've made me a more patient person, and I think that's great. I wish you to be very happy in your next relationships”.
- Another option: "Thank you for the good times we spent together, even if it didn't work out in the end."
Method 7 of 10: Be respectful in your response
Step 1. It's not because you're giving bad news that you need to be rude or aggressive
It's possible that he has some questions about termination, which you should answer politely. Try to see things from his point of view and be understanding, but not back down on your decision.
- Say, for example: “I know you are upset. I get it. However, I have to be honest with myself.”
- Another example: "I understand what you mean, but I still think we'd better finish."
Method 8 of 10: Avoid lengthening the conversation
Step 1. Say only what is necessary to not go back on your decision
Even if you're feeling a whirlwind of emotions, keep it brief and avoid listing in detail all the reasons behind the breakup. Give preference to short, direct messages that make it clear what you mean.
The entire message should go something like this: “Hi, Alex! You're a really nice guy and fellow, but to be honest, I don't think we have the same chemistry anymore. We haven't talked much lately. I think we better finish. Although it didn't work out, I had a lot of fun. I only wish you the best!”
Method 9 out of 10: Cut all ties with him
Step 1. Make it clear that you are done so as not to give him false hope
Avoid saying things that might imply that you can still be friends or even come back. Otherwise, he'll end up thinking he still has a chance with you. Also avoid looking for it after completion. Make it clear that you don't want to see him again.
If it keeps chasing you after it's finished, block it on your mobile and social media
Method 10 of 10: Call him in for a personal conversation if you've been together for a while
Step 1. Ending a serious relationship by text message is a hell of a lack of respect
Sending a message may seem like the easiest way to end the relationship, but the pain of breaking up will be three times as much. Treat both your boyfriend and your relationship with respect: ask him to talk face-to-face.
If you don't feel confident meeting him in person, talk to him over the phone or by video call
Tips
Think carefully before breaking up with your boyfriend so you don't regret it later
Notices
- Breaking up by text message with a longtime boyfriend or even someone you've dated more than four times is disrespectful and can even deeply hurt the other person's feelings. At the very least, phone. The ideal, however, is to meet him in person, as long as it is not risky for you.
- Breaking up is always painful, even when we do everything right. It's okay if you get sad or depressed later. Give yourself time and take the time to reflect on the reasons why ending was the best choice.