How To Get Your Boyfriend Back When He Has Broken Up With You

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How To Get Your Boyfriend Back When He Has Broken Up With You
How To Get Your Boyfriend Back When He Has Broken Up With You
Anonim

When your loved one ends the relationship, your first reaction can be a strong urge to call her, tell her how you feel, and hope that she wants to make up. You may feel the need to fill your boyfriend with pleas and pleas, but first, consider whether a date is really the best option for both of you. Then, if you decide you really want a reconciliation, allow your ex some time and space to himself, strive to be a better person, and finally talk to him in a friendly way.

Steps

Part 1 of 4: Reflecting on the reasons for the breakup

Get Your Boyfriend Back When He Broke Up with You Step 1

Step 1. Try to understand why the relationship ended

Was it because of a fight, a betrayal, or did your boyfriend just seem to gradually lose interest? Understanding why he broke up will help you decide whether trying to win him back is really the best option.

  • Reflect on his behavior in the weeks leading up to the breakup. This will help you determine if dating is salvageable.
  • If the breakup was sudden, sparked by a fight, maybe he just needs time to cool off.
  • However, if things haven't been going well for a few months, see if reconciliation is worth trying.
Get Your Boyfriend Back When He Broke Up with You Step 2

Step 2. Analyze the cause of the fight

When the breakup is the result of an argument, understanding the reason for the disagreement can help you make things right. Was this your first dating fight, or do you guys fight all the time? People fight, break up and make up all the time. However, ongoing disagreements are indications of a more serious problem in the relationship.

  • If either of you has appealed to physical aggression, understand that physical violence is never acceptable. Resuming a relationship with an abusive partner is never a good idea.
  • Likewise, violence with your boyfriend is also unacceptable. Seek help from friends, family, and possibly a doctor if you have ever thought about hurting your loved one.
Get Your Boyfriend Back When He Broke Up with You Step 3

Step 3. Reflect on whether you could forgive a betrayal

If the breakup was caused by a betrayal, evaluate the situation to decide whether a healthy relationship is still possible. Most of the time, couples who break up for this reason should stay apart.

  • If you have been cheated on, be rational and consider whether you could truly forgive him - perhaps you are acting emotionally if the breakup is recent.
  • If you have been unfaithful, consider whether a return would be fair to him. Most people can't get over a betrayal.
  • The betrayal was probably motivated by a dating problem, and often an unfaithful partner is no longer satisfied with the relationship.
Get Your Boyfriend Back When He Broke Up with You Step 4

Step 4. Understand why he lost interest

If the relationship broke down because the attraction ended, consider why. Perhaps the partners have lost touch, are going through a rough patch, or perhaps they just aren't right for each other.

  • Sometimes one partner ends up losing interest because the other has changed. Maybe you've had a temporary change caused by a tricky phase, or maybe you've changed for the better. Often two people simply grow apart.
  • If the relationship ended because one of the partners changed, it might be better to let go and move on.
Get Your Boyfriend Back When He Broke Up with You Step 5

Step 5. Accept your mistake

If you've done something wrong, accept reality and be prepared to admit you did wrong. Understand that your actions probably hurt the person you love.

Promise yourself that you will do your best not to make the same mistake again. If your ex-boyfriend accepts a reconciliation, avoiding old mistakes will be very important to the well-being of the relationship

Get Your Boyfriend Back When He Broke Up with You Step 6

Step 6. Understand your own intentions

Reflect on whether you really want to get back together with this person, or if you just want to win him back because he broke up. When rejection undermines our self-esteem, we may feel the need to prove to ourselves that we can bring someone back. On the other hand, maybe the breakup opened your eyes and you realized how much you loved your now ex-boyfriend.

Don't try to get back together without sincere intentions. This will only bring suffering to everyone involved

Part 2 of 4: Taking a Break

Get Your Boyfriend Back When He Broke Up with You Step 7

Step 1. Be patient

Maybe you can win him back in a short time, or maybe the process takes a lot longer. Regardless of the situation, at this point, your ex-boyfriend needs some time to himself.

Get Your Boyfriend Back When He Broke Up with You Step 8

Step 2. Decide how long you will go without talking to your ex

Avoid any kind of contact for a week, a month or even a few months. The deadline for resuming contact will depend on the specific circumstances of the relationship and separation.

  • Try eliminating contact for a week if you feel that a brief period of time is the best option for both of you.
  • If the breakup was particularly difficult, it is ideal to avoid contact for at least three months.
  • During this time, make an effort not to respond to messages or answer his phone calls. You may get back to talking to your ex-boyfriend after a while, but eliminating the contact completely will help you renew his interest.
Get Your Boyfriend Back When He Broke Up with You Step 9

Step 3. Stop calling and texting

Perhaps you've spent the last few days sending hundreds of messages and calling your loved one non-stop. In that case, stop now. That way, your ex-boyfriend will have some time to clear his head, plus a chance to realize he's made a mistake, if at all.

Get Your Boyfriend Back When He Broke Up with You Step 10

Step 4. Avoid keeping in touch through social media

You might consider breaking up with him on social media, but that's not necessary. However, avoid commenting, liking his posts or sending private messages.

  • Only break up the friendship if you cannot resist the temptation to contact him or check his publications. Otherwise, it is better to leave this form of communication available for the future.
  • Don't look at his updates, you'll suffer even more if you see pictures of him having fun alone.
Get Your Boyfriend Back When He Broke Up with You Step 11

Step 5. Avoid meeting him in person

For a while, avoid the places he frequents and stop hanging out with mutual friends. Don't change your life too much, but try not to find your ex-boyfriend lying around.

Keep acting friendly and professional if you work or study together, but only talk to him when necessary

Get Your Boyfriend Back When He Broke Up with You Step 12

Step 6. Relax

Don't try too hard to avoid the other person, just do what you can to pay attention to the things that make you happy. Your ex-boyfriend may value you more if he realizes that you weren't desperate or needy from the breakup.

Part 3 of 4: Focusing on itself

Get Your Boyfriend Back When He Broke Up with You Step 13

Step 1. Allow yourself to suffer

It's normal to suffer from a breakup, so don't try to hold back the sadness. You'll be able to think about winning him back once you've released your emotions, with a clearer head.

  • Being sad about the breakup is normal, but get help if the sadness doesn't improve over time or if it starts to affect all areas of your life.
  • Get help if your sleep, concentration, or eating habits don't return to normal after two weeks. Also, never fail to get help if you're thinking about hurting yourself or committing suicide.
  • Don't let self-pity get the better of you. Allow yourself to suffer, but don't ignore all your positive qualities.
Get Your Boyfriend Back When He Broke Up with You Step 14

Step 2. Express emotions creatively

Try writing down thoughts in a journal, painting or even composing. Art and writing are therapeutic techniques for dealing with feelings and thoughts.

Get Your Boyfriend Back When He Broke Up with You Step 15

Step 3. Make time for friends and family

Sometimes a breakup can leave a person feeling very lonely, and it's common to lose touch with some friends during a relationship. Take time away from your ex-boyfriend to reconnect with loved ones. Close contact with the people you love is a good way to build self-confidence and overcome hurt feelings.

Get Your Boyfriend Back When He Broke Up with You Step 16

Step 4. Make a positive change in appearance

There's nothing wrong with your current appearance, but a change in your look can help boost your self-esteem – it doesn't matter if it's something as subtle as whitening your teeth, or something more drastic, like a new hair color.

  • Buy a new outfit. Clothes can express how much fun a person is, sexy or trendy.
  • Start exercising. A healthy lifestyle change will benefit you and, as a bonus, your ex-boyfriend may also notice the change.
Get Your Boyfriend Back When He Broke Up with You Step 17

Step 5. Try something different

This is the time to do something you've always wanted to do. A new activity is a great way to distract your mind and get away from the temptation to find your ex-boyfriend ahead of time.

  • Enroll in a yoga class.
  • Travel to a new destination.
  • Take cooking classes.
  • Volunteer at a homeless shelter.
Get Your Boyfriend Back When He Broke Up with You Step 18

Step 6. Remember who you are

Being single does not make anyone an inferior person. Take the time to think about all the things that made your ex-boyfriend fall in love with you.

Reflect on your strengths, but also on your shortcomings. Don't be hurt by them, just think about how you could improve these aspects

Part 4 of 4: Chatting Amicably

Get Your Boyfriend Back When He Broke Up with You Step 19

Step 1. Only look for it when you are really ready

Respect the deadline set above, don't try to convince yourself that you should go to your ex-boyfriend ahead of time simply because you can't resist the temptation. Talking to him with a cool head will benefit everyone.

Get Your Boyfriend Back When He Broke Up with You Step 20

Step 2. Start small

Make a first attempt at contact by enjoying a share of it on social media. If you are no longer friends on social media, send a short text message.

Don't talk too much if you decide to send a message. Just say that you hope everything is fine, or that you remembered him when you saw something

Get Your Boyfriend Back When He Broke Up with You Step 21

Step 3. Send a message

Start with a basic greeting or ask how things are going. Try starting a casual conversation.

  • Don't say you miss him, that you love him, or that you want him to come back.
  • Don't send multiple messages if you don't receive a reply to the first one. Wait for at least a few days or a week before trying again. Give up if he still doesn't respond.
Get Your Boyfriend Back When He Broke Up with You Step 22

Step 4. Phone

When your ex-boyfriend starts responding to messages, call him. Hearing your voice could remind you how much you miss.

  • Keep avoiding talking about dating. Tell him how your life is going and ask him how his life is.
  • Don't have an emotional reaction or be nervous if he doesn't react as you would like.
Get Your Boyfriend Back When He Broke Up with You Step 23

Step 5. Ask him out

You don't need to ask him out on a date; just ask if he wants to do something.

  • Invite him for coffee.
  • Suggest going on a trail or hiking together.
  • Ask if he wants to watch a movie or attend an interesting event.
Get Your Boyfriend Back When He Broke Up with You Step 24

Step 6. Take it easy

Don't think that everything will go back to the way it was before, as if by magic. Keep in mind that maybe the other person is still hurt or confused. Spend time together as friends, don't try to push it.

  • Talk about all the new things you've been doing.
  • Use the self-esteem gained during the breakup to remind you how fun and friendly you are.
Get Your Boyfriend Back When He Broke Up with You Step 25

Step 7. Be careful about suggesting a reconciliation

Say that you like to spend time with him, insinuating the desire to go back to dating. Don't beg him to get back together as soon as he starts to feel comfortable with you.

  • Don't start by asking to come back, just say you've been thinking about it.
  • Show that you'd like to go back to dating him by saying that you think the time they spent apart was enough for them to try a fresh start.
Get Your Boyfriend Back When He Broke Up with You Step 26

Step 8. Talk about everything

Maybe you want to start from scratch, but understand that it's hard to get back into a relationship without talking about the past. Listen to his feelings and concerns and calmly talk about your side of the story.

Talk about your differences until an agreement is reached. Don't throw yourself into the relationship without first solving the issues responsible for the breakup

Get Your Boyfriend Back When He Broke Up with You Step 27

Step 9. Respect his decision

Maybe he'll agree to come back, but maybe he thinks it's better to leave things as they are. Don't be mad if he doesn't want a reconciliation. Understand that you have no control over the situation.

  • Don't talk about the past after you've already started dating again. Have this conversation before you decide to resume the relationship.
  • Don't react badly if your ex-boyfriend doesn't want to come back, maybe he just isn't ready. Don't destroy your future chances by reacting emotionally.
  • Ask if his decision is final. If the answer is yes, accept that you are not going to date anymore.
Get Your Boyfriend Back When He Broke Up with You Step 28

Step 10. Remember that your value cannot be defined by anyone else

No matter what happens, a boyfriend doesn't define who you are. Stay confident and independent, no matter what happens in the end.

Tips

  • Share photos of your adventures on social media. Show how much fun you're having without it.
  • Allow time between calls, messages and online chats. Don't try to rush reconciliation.
  • Remember to be yourself, don't try to change to win him back.
  • Keep in mind that a reconciliation is no guarantee that the two of you will be together forever. Some relationships will just end. Winning him back now doesn't guarantee that things will work out forever.

Notices

  • Don't threaten to hurt your boyfriend or yourself.
  • Don't look for it too much. Perhaps you now feel that you cannot live without it, but you understand that excessive contact is not healthy for either of you.
  • Respect his decision if your ex-boyfriend doesn't want to talk to you. Insisting on talking to someone is not healthy behavior.

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