4 Ways to Leave Your Wife

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4 Ways to Leave Your Wife
4 Ways to Leave Your Wife
Anonim

Separating from women is always painful. Even after the decision is made, carrying it through is one of the hardest things a man can do in life. There's no such thing as an easy divorce, but if you protect yourself and stay calm, you'll be able to get over it more easily.

Steps

Method 1 of 4: Making the Decision

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Step 1. Identify whether this is a permanent or impermanent problem

The first concerns a constant or irrevocable evil, separation being the only solution for it. The second, to a pervasive issue that may or may not be resolvable, and requires a careful analysis of the situation before taking any action.

  • The range of permanent problems includes the 3 A's: abuse, addiction (addiction) and adultery.
  • In the case of impermanent problems, issues such as emotional distance or the feeling that the passion is over, issues that often mask evils not identified by the spouses: isolation, neglect, constant criticism. Before choosing a divorce, identify and resolve these underlying ills.
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Step 2. Be honest and realistic

Even when on amicable terms, divorces are always brutal. If you consider this option just because you want to be free to pursue a future that you envision for yourself, stop and rethink.

If you're thinking of leaving your wife for a high school sweetheart or a new lover, perhaps you envision this new relationship while belittling both the positive aspects of your marriage and the consequences of breaking it up

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Step 3. Seek help if that is an option

Those who have impermanent problems can, as long as they have the good will of their spouse, try to resolve them in couple therapy before breaking the union.

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Step 4. Don't delay:

file the process and don't look back. In these matters, conviction is always a good adviser. If you've thought it through carefully and come to the conclusion that divorce is the best way out, try to remember this if you feel doubtful in the future.

Method 2 of 4: Planning Yourself

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Step 1. Tell someone

When you file, find someone to be your confidant at this stage. That person, of course, cannot be your wife or someone more loyal to her than to you. Choose a trusted friend or relative, or your psychologist.

  • The confidant can provide emotional support and objective guidance when your judgment is clouded by emotions.
  • Furthermore, the fact that someone knows what is going on between the couple provides more security.
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Step 2. Think about where to go

You will need a place to stay when you leave the house. If you can't find permanent housing, find a place where you can stay for at least a few months, and where you can go as soon as you announce the separation.

  • If you are staying with a relative or friend, find out in advance how long you can stay there.
  • If you plan to live alone, look for a house or apartment and, if possible, close the deal before revealing to your wife your intention to divorce.
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Step 3. Analyze your expectations

In many situations, the desire to leave the wife suggests that divorce is the best way out. Ask yourself if this is what you really want, if a past role separation is in fact the best alternative at the moment.

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Step 4. List the shared assets:

money, valuables, real estate and so on. Start thinking about the best way to divide them between you and your wife.

  • If your monetary assets are all stored in one place, you are entitled to half of them.
  • Valuables belonging to the couple must be divided equally. Possessions of only one of the parties, such as inherited objects, do not enter into the sharing. Once you've listed all the objects you share, make a list of those you're willing to lose and those you're willing to dispute.
  • Also list the services, such as internet and telephone, contracted in common and those contracted by only one of the parties. Those who have been hired only by you should be passed on to your wife. Family cell phone plans, for example, have to be dissolved.
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Step 5. Find necessary and important documents, namely:

marriage certificate, debt certificates, property titles, etc. Copy and keep them all in a safe place outside your home, especially if you suspect your wife will resist divorce.

Search all your records: military service certificates linked to benefits; Bank statements; insurance policies; social security or pension bonds; car's document; mortgage, financing or loan certificates; children's school contract; credit card bills; stock bonds

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Step 6. Open a bank account

If you only have a joint account or an account that your spouse has access to, open a checking account to deposit your wages without her knowledge.

  • Vigilantly monitor movements in joint accounts. If your wife is manipulative or abusive, she may try to empty the joint accounts in order to make the divorce more difficult.
  • You can withdraw half of the funds from each joint account, but such a massive move could alert your wife to the fact that something is wrong.
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Step 7. Transfer objects of emotional value to a safe place

This is an expendable precaution for anyone who has reason to trust his wife, but if you believe her capable of damaging your inherited memories and possessions or using them against you, take them out of the house without her noticing.

Only remove items that you can prove you own; never those owned by both. Items such as gifts and inherited objects belong to the individual, not the couple

Step 8. Hide weapons and anything that can be used as such

No need to worry about that if you know you can part on friendly terms. If, on the other hand, there is any reason to fear for the physical integrity of either party, remove weapons and dangerous objects from the house, being careful not to alert your wife, and leave them in a safe place.

Even if your wife isn't the type to point a gun at her husband during arguments, you need to consider what she might do to herself once she's without you around. Removing all firearms from the house is an important precaution so that she doesn't injure herself

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Step 9. Copy the keys

This is recommended whether your wife is mentally stable or not. Make copies of keys to house, cars, and other important places, and give them to a trusted friend or relative.

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Step 10. Alert authorities

This is rarely necessary, but if your wife has threatened to make a false assault report in the past, you can resume the plan now that you are leaving her. Report these threats to the authorities.

  • Tell the police of your wife's threats and your intention to leave her, and find out how to protect yourself from false criminal charges.
  • Since every complaint of domestic abuse must be investigated, reaching out to the authorities helps to prevent the investigation from reaching the wrong conclusion.

Method 3 of 4: Talking to Your Wife (and Children)

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Step 1. Write a script

Outline all the items you want to allude to before starting the conversation. The script will help you remember them all. Don't write down every word of what you're about to say - just the stuff you don't want to be overlooked.

  • Stick to the reasons for leaving her and what you've been going through, avoiding making accusations (even if you feel she's to blame for everything).
  • Describe what you expect to happen (separation, divorce) and give your wife opportunities to share her point of view.
  • Watch your tone as you write the script, and remove anything that is out of anger or a desire to hurt your partner.
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Step 2. Let your confidant stand by

Let him know the date and time you'll talk to your wife so he's available if you need emotional support.

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Step 3. Make a careful plan

Don't just toss the news into your wife's lap. Choose the day, time and place to help her process the news as best as possible, and don't reveal your intentions until then.

  • Don't break the news in a restaurant, during a party or before your wife goes to work, for example. Ideally, the conversation should take place at home, with no one having to worry about later appointments or the tone of voice you are using.
  • If you fear for your safety, however, it's a good idea for the conversation to take place in a public place with a degree of privacy, such as a park.
  • Stay true to the plan and don't spill out too soon in a moment of anger or disturbance.
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Step 4. Stay calm and follow the script

When you sit down with your wife, calmly address all the topics covered in the script. Be patient if she gets emotional and avoid yelling at her. Stay as calm, distant and objective as possible.

  • Remember: you are talking to your wife, not merely reporting your decision to her. Listen to what she has to say to make sure she understands you.
  • Be focused and consistent. Don't stray from the purpose of the conversation and don't say anything that might call into question your firmness of purpose. You may want to give your wife some emotional comfort, or you may be tempted to reminisce with her about the good times you shared, but that will only prolong the discomfort of a situation whose outcome is inevitable.
  • Do not get into arguments about minutiae and prefer to use very direct sentences, although delicate, to make yourself understood faster.
  • Such news is expected to be greeted with surprise or sadness. Don't try to justify yourself and don't give in either.
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Step 5. Tell your kids (if you have them)

Ideally, husband and wife should think about the best way to get the news out, and that they do it together. If there is a suspicion that your wife will try to manipulate the children, talk to them yourself.

  • As you did for the conversation with your wife, prepare a script of what you want to talk about. Be honest and make it clear that the divorce was not their fault.
  • Even for those who already have adult children, it is best to communicate the decision after moving house.

Method 4 of 4: Leaving Home

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Step 1. Separate yourself immediately

The news of the separation must be followed by your departure - on the same night, if possible. Pack your bags beforehand.

Staying in the same house as the person you've just parted from is asking for trouble: the unstable climate will be very conducive to fights and attitudes you'll later regret

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Step 2. Hire a lawyer and file the case without hesitating for a moment

It is common to see physical separation as the most important step and use it as an excuse to delay the bureaucratic progress of the divorce, but this can make the next steps difficult.

  • Your lawyer can appeal to protect your assets during the divorce, but this can only be done once it has started.
  • Also, your wife may not take you seriously if you are slow in coming up with paperwork.
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Step 3. Cut all links

Being friends with your "ex" is possible, but for now it's a good idea to deprive yourself of any interactions that aren't related to divorce or separation.

Contact will need to be maintained to resolve practical issues of separation. If you have children, you will have to keep getting along often. It is important, however, to cut out all sorts of banal conversation for now, which is a risk especially on lonely nights when we miss being intimate with someone

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Step 4. Stay steady

The path is difficult, but you can follow it to the end. Find emotional support from loved ones or a psychologist, and seek advice from your lawyer in the course of legal proceedings.

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