How to End a Distance Relationship (with Pictures)

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How to End a Distance Relationship (with Pictures)
How to End a Distance Relationship (with Pictures)
Anonim

It's hard to end a long-distance relationship. Maybe you can't handle being away from your loved one all the time, or maybe you're feeling stuck in a relationship with someone you don't love. No matter what the situation, it's all too easy to be tempted to put off the breakup, making your feelings hurt you. Distance slows down the entire relationship, whether it's the beginning or the end of it, but when it finally ends, you may feel like you've lifted a great deal of weight off your back.

Steps

Part 1 of 4: Deciding to Finish

End a Long Distance Relationship Step 1

Step 1. Understand your feelings

Ask yourself why you want to break up and identify all the things that make you unhappy in the relationship.

  • Make a list of things that bother you. Is the problem distance or your partner? Assess if you can do something or if the problem is the inevitable consequences of a long-distance relationship.
  • If you're undecided, make a list of pros and cons, highlighting reasons to keep the relationship and reasons to end it. Consider the weight of each highlighted point, as a negative point can nullify a long list of positive aspects.
End a Long Distance Relationship Step 2

Step 2. Make sure this is what you want

Make sure you can't solve the problems by talking to your partner. If you're sure you want to finish, it's time to set a plan.

If you can't stand the distance but still love your partner, try talking to him about the future. A long-distance relationship tends to work best when there are prospects that, in the near future, you will diminish it

End a Long Distance Relationship Step 3

Step 3. Consider talking to a friend about what you are feeling

If you need to share your feelings with someone but are not yet ready to talk to your partner about the relationship issues, try talking to a close friend, family member, or see a therapist.

  • Talk about the problems and explain why you are thinking about breaking up. Ask your counselor if your reasons make sense to him. Perhaps he will agree with you or help you find a way out.
  • If your counselor has had the experience of being in a long-distance relationship, he may be able to give you extremely important tips.
End a Long Distance Relationship Step 4

Step 4. Go on with your life

Stop living in the shadow of this long-distance relationship. Take advantage of the opportunities that arise around you and think about what will really make you happy.

  • If you're thinking about breaking up with someone, taking time off to live single for a short time can help you decide. If you start distancing yourself from your partner and you like it, maybe the right decision is really to break up.
  • Try meeting new friends in your area. If there are groups getting together to do something you like or free events in your city, try to attend. Try exploring the city on your own for a while and don't think about the next time you'll get in touch with your partner. Do what your relationship kept you from doing.
  • Live your life and have control over every moment of it. You will find that doing this will make you feel a lot more relieved about the relationship.
End a Long Distance Relationship Step 5

Step 5. If you are in an exclusive relationship but want to go out with other people, it might be better to break up before doing so

The most important thing is to respect your partner and your commitment to him.

  • If you cheat on your partner in a long-distance relationship and he finds out, he will likely take the initiative to break up. However, the process will be much more painful and you will only be prolonging the situation.
  • If you're thinking about breaking up because you're already involved with someone else, you'll need to make a decision sooner or later. The sooner you do this, the better it will be for everyone involved.

Part 2 of 4: Finishing in person

End a Long Distance Relationship Step 6

Step 1. Consider ending the relationship in person

In general, the ideal is to end it in person, if possible, so that you can have one last conversation properly. Show respect for the time and energy you put into the relationship.

  • Perhaps this is the hardest part of ending a long-distance relationship. You may feel obligated to finish in person, but you are used to making the most of your time. These encounters may have turned out to be extremely pleasurable, as if you were taking a vacation and forgetting a little bit about the rest of the world, so it can be difficult to break that pattern.
  • If you plan to visit your partner soon, take the opportunity, and nothing is planned, try to visit him as soon as possible. It is not necessary to make up an excuse, but it may also not be appropriate to say that you are going to break up with your partner. Just go.
  • If you have something from your partner, like a coat or his favorite book, this is the perfect time to return it.
  • Try to finish when you're visiting your partner's city, not when he's in yours. It will be easier for both of you, as you will be able to plan your return in advance.
End a Long Distance Relationship Step 7

Step 2. Avoid postponing the conversation about ending for a vacation or a trip

  • Relationship problems can be forgotten over the holidays, which can make it harder for you to start the conversation. The problem is that when you go back to normal life, maybe all the frustrations in the relationship will come back.
  • If you break up with someone while traveling on vacation, you may find yourself obligated to stay there and socialize with your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend for the entire duration of your stay.
End a Long Distance Relationship Step 8

Step 3. Avoid drawing attention

Try not to talk about breaking up in public places with lots of people, such as restaurants, coffee shops, or bars. This can make the situation more intense.

  • Make sure you can leave the place easily after you break up. Try not to leave anything of yours at your ex's house, as it would be a strange experience to have to go get your stuff.
  • Try to start the conversation in a neutral and sparsely populated place, such as a park in your city.
End a Long Distance Relationship Step 9

Step 4. Start the conversation

Cut to the chase and say something like "We need to talk. This relationship isn't working for me, I want to break up."

  • Show the reasons that motivated your decision. Be kind and friendly when speaking, but don't give in. Be honest and speak what your heart tells you.
  • For example: "I can't handle the distance anymore. It's eating me up and inside and hurting me so much. You're a wonderful person, I hope you find someone who can make you happy, but I can't be that person ".
  • Another example: "I don't see a chance that we will live in the same city in the near future, so I wouldn't want to continue devoting time and energy to something that won't lead to anything. I would have liked to say that in person, but there isn't how. It's over".
End a Long Distance Relationship Step 10

Step 5. Be firm

Don't make the termination sound like an agreement or suggestion. Be decisive and clear your intentions.

  • Try to explain it clearly and simply. The more you stall, the more issues will be discussed and the more complicated the ending will become.
  • Try to avoid an argument. Don't accuse the partner self of anything or blame it. Explain that the breakup is happening because of you and your inability to stay emotionally involved in the relationship.
End a Long Distance Relationship Step 11

Step 6. Let your partner speak

Be patient and show empathy. Let your ex tell his side of the story and listen.

  • Continue this last conversation for as long as it takes to close the subject. Your partner probably won't be calm right away, which is also highly dependent on his or her emotional involvement in the relationship.
  • When there's nothing more to say or if you find the conversation getting repetitive, wish your ex the best and say goodbye.

Part 3 of 4: Ending the Distance

End a Long Distance Relationship Step 12

Step 1. Consider ending with a phone call or video call if you are unable to do this in person

It is important to express your feelings as personally as possible so that you can close the matter properly.

  • Avoid breaking up via text message or chat apps. These forms of communication are much more informal than a phone call or video call. Also, your partner may not be able to complete the matter. If you've been dating for a long time, avoid breaking up via text messages at all costs.
  • Avoid talking about termination publicly on social media such as Twitter and Facebook. This may sound like passive-aggressive behavior, which may generate a response from your ex.
End a Long Distance Relationship Step 13

Step 2. Tell your partner you need to talk

Set a time and medium for conversation. This will set you up for a more serious conversation, which sets the mood for you to pursue the sensitive subject.

  • For example, send a message like, "Will you be available to talk on the phone tonight at eight? I need to talk to you about something."
  • If you have already set up "dates" via Skype or late night calls, please take the time to talk about the breakup.
  • "We need to talk" is pretty much a universal code for saying "There's something wrong with this relationship." If you use these words when scheduling the conversation, he will already be prepared and waiting for what lies ahead. If the relationship has been in turmoil for some time, maybe he already expects it.
End a Long Distance Relationship Step 14

Step 3. Make the call and start the conversation

Get to the point and say, "I hate having to do this over the phone, but I need to say what I feel. This relationship isn't working for me, I want to end it."

  • State the reasons why you made this decision. Be kind and friendly when speaking, but don't give in. Be honest and speak what your heart tells you.
  • For example: "I can't handle the distance anymore. It's eating me up and inside and hurting me so much. You're a wonderful person, I hope you find someone who can make you happy, but I can't be that person ".
  • Another example: "I don't see a chance that we will live in the same city in the near future, so I wouldn't want to continue devoting time and energy to something that won't lead to anything. I would have liked to say that in person, but there isn't how. It's over".
End a Long Distance Relationship Step 15

Step 4. Be firm

This is even more important if you are not finishing in person. Don't turn the breakup into an agreement or suggestion and be decisive and clear on your intentions.

  • Try to explain it clearly and simply. The more you stall, the more issues will be discussed and the more complicated the ending will become.
  • Try to avoid an argument. Don't accuse the partner self of anything or blame it. Explain that the breakup is happening because of you and your inability to stay emotionally involved in the relationship.
End a Long Distance Relationship Step 16

Step 5. Let your partner speak

Be patient and show empathy. Let your ex tell his side of the story and listen.

  • Stay on the line for as long as it takes for your ex to close the matter. He may not be able to be calm immediately, which also depends on the emotional involvement he had with the relationship.
  • When there's nothing more to say, say it's over and hang up.
End a Long Distance Relationship Step 17

Step 6. Return his things that are with you

You can email a box of his stuff or have a mutual friend deliver it to him.

  • Tell your ex that you want to return his things and stick to your agreement. This is a kind gesture that can bring peace of mind to your ex as he will get his things back.
  • Do this as soon as possible. This will help them get over the breakup soon. Putting it off will only make things worse by the time you return.

Part 4 of 4: Stay away

End a Long Distance Relationship Step 18

Step 1. Set clear boundaries

Avoid talking to your ex often and resist the temptation to talk to or respond to him. Make it clear that the relationship is over.

  • If most of the time you interacted with your partner through calls, text messages or the internet, you may need to change your habits regarding these technologies. The relationship may still exist within devices.
  • If you break up with someone but still have daily contact with the person, it may be difficult to forget about them. If you can, set clear boundaries in your interaction so as not to leave doubts about the end of the relationship.
  • Rest assured that he will understand this decision. If you're the one who took the initiative to break up, your partner is more likely not to be able to forget about you right away. He may try to get in touch with you again, in which case try to deal with these feelings respectfully.
End a Long Distance Relationship Step 19

Step 2. Allow him to close the subject

He may feel the need to talk to you again after the breakup, either to talk or to complain about something. Do what you feel is right, but consider talking to him.

  • Be nice but firm. Listen and try to understand his point of view, but don't let what he says influence you. Remember why you took the step of finishing in the first place.
  • If your ex is in a location near your home and wants to ask you to talk, consider the offer, but be careful. If you interact with him the way you used to during the relationship, maybe he ends up confusing things.
End a Long Distance Relationship Step 20

Step 3. Follow your life

It's time to get out of the house a bit, meet friends and co-workers, in short, enjoy freedom.

  • Try to meet new people. Join groups and events, get more involved in your community and make new connections.
  • Use the breakup as a starting point for other positive changes in your life. Do everything you ever wanted to do. If you use the breakup to achieve personal growth, it may be easier to get over that bad time and harder to relapse.
End a Long Distance Relationship Step 21

Step 4. Try not to think about what happened

Allow the relationship to end, and even though you are hurting, remember that you did it for a reason.

  • If you miss your ex, remember the reasons you ended the relationship.
  • Consider making a list of reasons that led to termination. If you start to rethink your decision and miss the relationship, read the list to remind yourself of the reasons why it ended.

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