Dating is an incredible experience, but it always comes with the risk of a breakup. Being traded for someone else is never cool; this is a very traumatic experience and one from which it is not easy to recover. If your boy has left you for another woman, try to reduce the duration and intensity of your suffering by handling the situation with dignity, taking care of your mental health and rebuilding your life. Come on?
Method 1 of 3: Handling Termination With Dignity
Step 1. Get away from the guy
Don't fall for the bullshit of keeping your friendship with him, as this will rekindle fantasies of a comeback in your head. As much as you may get back to being friends in the future, focus on yourself now and let the romantic feelings die before trying to rekindle the friendship. Keeping in touch at this point will only make the break-up worse, mainly because you haven't gotten over him and if he still has feelings for you.
- Think that, by keeping the friendship, you will end up seeing the guy with his new girlfriend and that will cause pain.
- Avoid interacting with him on the internet or chatting on the phone. It's also good to get rid of things that remind you of the boy, like photos and gifts.
Step 2. Bravely resist the temptation to get back together
Terminations are painful, but they are also necessary in some cases. If the boy is dating someone else, he probably won't want to get back together, and trying to get back together will only prolong his suffering.
It's possible that the guy will try to keep dating you and the other girl at the same time. Run away from it and show him that you have the maturity to put an end to the relationship
Step 3. Don't talk bad about him
You should have the moral high ground in this situation, so don't gossip or talk about what happened out there. Even if you feel the need to unburden yourself, it can end up making things worse, especially if you have mutual friends. Try to put things in a positive light, as this is better for your mental health.
- Try to understand his side, as he is probably doing what he thinks is best. If the guy really has no intention of saving the relationship, the best long-term option is to just break up.
- When someone asks about your breakup, you can answer something like, "It was a difficult experience for me, but I wish him the best."
Step 4. Respect his decision
You don't have to like what he did, but understand that the guy made a decision and the best thing you can do is get on with your life, as painful as it is to admit it. It's normal to be sad for having devoted time and energy to the relationship, but the ideal is to move on, without dwelling on the past.
You could say something like, "I respect your decision, even if I don't like it or agree with it."
Step 5. Don't involve "the other"
I know, it's tempting to attack the girl, but understand that it's not her fault and targeting her will only make it harder for you to get over it. Think about the positive side of someone else's involvement: Breaking up will be a little easier, as you won't be stuck in that boring situation where you're both single and in the same environment.
- Have moral superiority, and if she tries to talk to you or gossip, don't respond.
- If you feel the need to respond to something she says, be brief and friendly. Say something like, "It wasn't meant to be, but I hope things work out for you."
- If she is your friend or acquaintance, be very careful not to hold a grudge. You may want to befriend her again in the future, or you may not want to burn relationships with your friends for disrespecting her. If you need to vent, talk to someone who isn't close to her or your ex.
Method 2 of 3: Dealing With Your Emotions
Step 1. Take care of your body
Self-care is extremely important after a breakup. No matter how sad or tired you may be, unwilling to eat, sleep, or exercise, know that these things are necessary for quick recovery. Physical activities are great for creating that feeling of positivity your brain needs to get through this difficult time through the production of serotonin.
If it's difficult to take care of yourself right now, ask friends and family for help. Cooking with loved ones or going to the gym with a friend can help you right now
Step 2. Face your feelings
Distraction may seem like a valid option at this point, but it will only increase the time it takes for you to recover. So it's going to be hard not to carry your current hurts into new relationships and other areas of your life.
- The simple act of talking to a friend will help you to reflect on what you are feeling, as long as the person in question is trustworthy and really listens to what you have to say.
- Avoid using alcohol and drugs to keep your feelings in check, as this will only make things worse.
Step 3. Write about your experience, focusing on the positives of the completion
Putting your thoughts down on paper will help you organize and process them more accurately, and it's much better than just talking about what happened.
- Was the guy honest and straightforward when he said he liked someone else?
- Did he confess to what happened long before he got serious with the other girl?
Step 4. Take time to recover
Pushing the envelope, such as entering a new relationship, working too hard, or trying to move on right away will only make things worse. Like physical wounds, emotional wounds need time. You need to take some time to rest and recover.
It's okay if you don't feel like hanging out with your friends right now. If they're really good friends, they'll understand that you need some peace
Step 5. Don't fall for the soul mate legend
Our culture tries to sell the idea that there is a special person for each of us, but the reality is that we are compatible with different people. Don't try to convince yourself that the guy was the one and that you'll never meet another person like him again, as the odds say otherwise. You might end up finding someone even better who won't leave you for someone else.
Method 3 of 3: Building a New Future
Step 1. Love yourself
This may seem impossible now, right after rejection, but it is possible to build your confidence through small daily steps.
Recognize your strengths. Make a list of the things you love about yourself: If it's hard to find these points, ask people who love you, like your parents or your friends. Believe me, they will be able to help
Step 2. Practice kindness to those around you
A good way to receive love is to give it back. Is a friend in need of attention? Help him and feel good in return. Even small actions, like buying a friend a birthday cake or giving someone a ride, should help.
Those who do good deeds tend to live longer and healthier, as kindness reduces stress and activates substances related to love and happiness in the brain
Step 3. Make plans
It's very easy to get lost in a pit of sadness and loneliness, but if you want to recover faster, make plans with loved ones, even if you're not in the mood. Go out with your friends and plan some activities in advance to create some anxiety. Don't be dependent on surges of energy and willpower.
- Try having regular dinners with a friend throughout the week. The important thing is to be constant.
- Not up to doing anything? Try it anyway! You have no way of knowing how you will feel when you do the activity. The ideal is to find a balance between staying at home and going out.
Step 4. Make new friends and discover new places
Trying out different things can help you get out of that closed mindset and stuck in the past. Put your face in the world and cultivate new memories, creating a new life! Even if it's hard to enjoy the new activities or the people you've just met, this will be better than mulling over the breakup, you can be sure.
When your friends are going to do something cool, ask them to go with them. The fun of others is contagious and will help you enjoy the moment too
Step 5. Work on your personal development
Take advantage of this opportunity and this free time to devote yourself. Go to the gym, play a sport, focus on your studies, learn a new skill, whatever! This will help her feel better and more confident, preparing her to date again in the future.
Make a list of things you'd like to learn but never had time to practice, like writing better or running
Step 6. Beware of rebound relationships
It's tempting to jump into a new relationship, after all, your ex-boyfriend is already with someone else. Still, you must be careful not to avoid your feelings. You have to get over your past relationship to grow emotionally. By not allowing yourself that time, you may end up entering the new relationship with heavy emotional baggage that could end everything.
Not all rebound relationships are bad, it all depends on the other person. If you met a special someone, it might be a good idea to invest in them. The problem happens when you don't really like the other person and are only with them to avoid loneliness or ignore the pain
If a guy left you for someone else, start the overcoming process by focusing on these actions:
Strive 1% a day.
If you're letting life go its own way, not using mindfulness techniques, make a 1% effort a day, making a conscious effort to get out of bed, brush your teeth, drink coffee, among other things. No matter the size of the achievement, celebrate it! You are going through a difficult time after all.
Create a growth mindset without stagnation.
A stagnant mindset means you only see the failed relationship and the hole it left, and it's normal to think you'll never be loved again for it. With a growth mindset, you separate yourself from the relationship and understand that breakups happen to everyone.
Do your best to clear your head and find purpose in life.
Think about the things you enjoy that bring peace of mind or satisfaction, such as hobbies, interests, work, or anything else. Completely devote yourself to whatever it takes to find a purpose for getting out of bed daily!