3 Ways to Trust Your Boyfriend

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3 Ways to Trust Your Boyfriend
3 Ways to Trust Your Boyfriend
Anonim

Trust is a key element in developing a strong and lasting relationship. While it is normal to be concerned about trust in a relationship, these concerns can be very harmful if they are exaggerated or unfounded. To avoid this problem, learn to trust your loved one, to rebuild trust after a betrayal, and to deal with distrust.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Dealing with Distrust

Trust Your Boyfriend Step 1

Step 1. Analyze why you cannot trust your loved one

Before making a drastic decision about your relationship, it's important to analyze the reasons why you can't trust your boyfriend. If you want to talk to them about such concerns, you will need to be able to identify the reasons why you feel this way.

  • Did he do something that made you suspicious? Avoiding you? Has anyone commented or suggested that it is not trustworthy?
  • Is there evidence to support these concerns?
Trust Your Boyfriend Step 2

Step 2. Don't jump to conclusions

While this may depend on the reason for the mistrust, it's best not to jump to conclusions that could compromise the future of the relationship. Instead of reacting to suspicion, try to analyze the situation calmly and rationally.

  • Is there another possible explanation for his behavior or concerns? You must make sure that you understand what is going on and that you know the facts well.
  • Have you had this type of problem in the past? What was the result?
  • If you have a good friend who is used to helping you analyze things, ask for their opinion.
Trust Your Boyfriend Step 3

Step 3. Reflect on your past relationships

Before you decide that your loved one is untrustworthy, review your past relationships. If you have cheated or been cheated on in the past, it is normal to be afraid to trust your current partner.

  • If you believe that past relationship problems are affecting your ability to trust your loved one, let them know about the problem. Your boyfriend will be more likely to understand the situation and you will be able to come to an agreement on how to interact more effectively in the future.
  • If he's not willing to be patient with your trust issues or at least try to understand them, he may not be worthy of your trust.
  • If you're stuck in an emotional situation where you don't feel able to overcome past trust issues, this may be a good time to see a counselor or therapist who can help you move on with your current relationship.
Trust Your Boyfriend Step 4

Step 4. Talk to your boyfriend about how you feel

Although it may seem difficult, the best way to deal with distrust is to talk about our concerns. Say how you feel and how you see your loved one's behavior, but don't make accusations, be negative, or be defensive.

  • Psychologists generally recommend starting a conversation with "I feel" rather than a statement starting with "you." For example, instead of accusing the other person of betraying your trust, you could say, "I feel hurt" or "I worry because I don't think we have the same expectations about dating." Focusing on your own feelings rather than his attitudes, at least at first, will avoid conflict and make the other person more willing to dialogue.
  • Think about how you would feel if someone accused you of being untrustworthy, and do your best to listen carefully to whatever he has to say.
Trust Your Boyfriend Step 5

Step 5. It's important that you both follow the same pattern

If you want to trust your loved one, they must also be able to trust you. Behave as you expect her to behave and strive to be open, honest, and trustworthy.

  • For example, if you don't want him to text other women, don't text other men.
  • Likewise, it's not fair to be upset that he won't call you if you don't keep your promises.
Trust Your Boyfriend Step 6

Step 6. Strive to strengthen the relationship

Feeling closer to the other person will help them overcome their distrust, so take the time to engage in meaningful activities and conversations with your boyfriend.

Plan activities where you have the opportunity to talk with each other and work together. For example, enroll in a cooking class or work together on an art project. Play some sport, but play on the same team. Teamwork will strengthen the relationship, make you feel closer, and improve communication as a couple

Trust Your Boyfriend Step 7

Step 7. Recognize the signs of more serious trust issues

While it's normal to worry about whether or not we can trust a loved one, sometimes distrust becomes disproportionate and makes it difficult to cultivate a meaningful and lasting relationship. If you suspect that you are suffering from more serious trust issues, recognizing some warning signs and asking yourself the following questions can help:

  • Does distrust affect your relationships?
  • Does distrust make it difficult to cultivate friendships or develop intimacy with other people?
  • Have your previous relationships been intense, dramatic or even violent?
  • Are you afraid that everyone around you is dishonest and liars, even without any evidence to support that suspicion?
Trust Your Boyfriend Step 8

Step 8. Think about the source of this distrust

If you're having trouble identifying why you can't trust your loved one, consider the possible sources of the problem. Distrust often results from childhood experiences and interactions. Here are some common reasons why you may have difficulty trusting your boyfriend or other people:

  • People who have suffered abuse, emotional or physical abuse, or some kind of rejection may find it difficult to be able to trust others.
  • If you have low self-esteem or feel that you are unlovable and unlovable, you may find it difficult to cultivate trust within a relationship.
  • Traumatic events such as the death of a loved one, an illness, or a betrayal can affect our ability to trust others.
  • Some types of mental illness can also increase anxiety, cause delusions, or generate feelings of paranoia that make it very difficult to trust someone.
Trust Your Boyfriend Step 9

Step 9. See a licensed mental health professional

If you're having trouble trusting your boyfriend or talking about trust issues, see a mental health specialist. He will help you to address these concerns, as well as provide support and appropriate treatment.

Method 2 of 3: Learning to Trust

Trust Your Boyfriend Step 10

Step 1. Remember that in a relationship both parties need to trust each other

Trust is a feeling shared by two people and it will be much easier to trust someone if you also behave in a trustworthy way.

  • If you expect to be able to trust the relationship, the other person must have the same expectations. Set an example. So if you're afraid your boyfriend will flirt with other women, don't flirt with other men.
  • One way to build trust in the relationship is for both you and your partner to be trustworthy and keep the promises you make. This will show them that they can count on each other. For example, if you agreed to do something together or to help him with something, keep your promise.
Trust Your Boyfriend Step 11

Step 2. Commit to trust someone

As simple as it may sound, making a commitment to trust your loved one will help them do the same. If both are in agreement, this will help to establish expectations related to the relationship.

Trust Your Boyfriend Step 12

Step 3. Think about your boyfriend's feelings

An important part of learning to trust another person is imagining how they feel and being considerate of their feelings. If you expect him to do this for you, you should also make it a priority in the relationship.

  • An important part of this step is knowing how to listen and respect the other person's feelings and thoughts.
  • Even if you don't agree with what's being said, don't belittle his feelings or act disrespectfully.
Trust Your Boyfriend Step 13

Step 4. Talk in person

Building trust requires face-to-face interaction and communication. While it's sometimes necessary to talk over the phone, text or email, it's important to spend time with your loved one.

  • This will strengthen your bond and increase your sense of security within the relationship.
  • It is much easier to trust someone when we can look them in the eye and feel reassured that they are telling the truth.
Trust Your Boyfriend Step 14

Step 5. Agree not to gossip about the relationship

Gossiping about the relationship and sharing intimate details with others can destroy trust. If you both agree not to violate that pact, it will be easier to trust other areas of your dating relationship.

If there's something you don't want to share with others, make it clear to your boyfriend so that he's aware of your wishes and expectations. At the same time, when he shares something personal, reassure him that you will keep it a secret

Trust Your Boyfriend Step 15

Step 6. Agree to admit mistakes and apologize

Mistakes are unavoidable in a relationship, and if you both always acknowledge your mistakes and sincerely apologize, you can learn to trust each other and feel more secure within the relationship.

Many arguments can be resolved more easily if both partners are willing to acknowledge that they have done or said something offensive or inappropriate

Trust Your Boyfriend Step 16

Step 7. Learn to forgive

Holding a grudge about something that has hurt you or made you suffer will keep you from trusting your boyfriend. If you've already talked all you had to talk about it and he's already offered a sincere apology, you need to let that go.

Bringing up the past or hurts in every fight will make it difficult to trust each other and talk honestly. If your loved one feels that you do this in every situation, they may be afraid to be honest or to communicate openly

Trust Your Boyfriend Step 17

Step 8. Make time for yourself

Spending time with your loved one is an important way to cultivate trust, but you also need time for yourself and family and friends. Time away from your boyfriend will help you to trust your own instincts and may even provide new insights into the relationship.

If you're afraid of putting your trust in the wrong person, talk to friends and family about those concerns. This can help her analyze her feelings and gain new perspectives on the situation, making it easier for her to conclude whether or not the trust is justified

Trust Your Boyfriend Step 18

Step 9. Keep working on building trust

It doesn't happen overnight, but it does require a lot of hard work, patience and commitment.

Depending on the nature of the relationship and the difficulties you face in your life, be prepared to feel insecure about your trust in your loved one. She's likely to have similar doubts at one point or another in dating, too. This is natural, but how we handle such doubts will determine the strength of the relationship

Method 3 of 3: Rebuilding Trust After a Betrayal

Trust Your Boyfriend Step 19

Step 1. Talk to your boyfriend about the loss of trust

Regardless of the cause of the loss of trust or the feeling of betrayal, the relationship will not move forward if the couple cannot talk about what caused the problem and how the two of you are feeling.

  • It's important to talk in person. It's difficult to be able to communicate openly and honestly over the phone, email, or text messages, as you can't look the other person in the eye and assess their expressions and behavior.
  • Try to be as honest as possible when discussing these difficult subjects. While it may be less painful at first to avoid analyzing or reliving a difficult situation, unpleasant issues related to what happened are likely to resurface if they are not addressed once and for all.
  • As calmly as possible, explain what the other person did to betray your trust. Instead of making accusations, say this is something you are thinking or feeling. Start the conversation with "I'm worried…" or "I'm afraid that…". Maybe the situation isn't quite what you're imagining, so be careful not to damage the relationship. Even if trust has been betrayed, accusing the other person will only make them angry and defensive, making the conversation even more unpleasant.
  • If it's too difficult to talk on your own, make an appointment with a couples counselor or therapist so they can facilitate the discussion.
Trust Your Boyfriend Step 20

Step 2. Seek opportunities in this difficult situation

While no one likes to deal with a betrayal or loss of trust, think about the opportunities that come with this situation. See this as an opportunity to strengthen, solidify or rebuild the relationship, addressing any hidden issues.

Viewing the situation in this way can help you to overcome the betrayal and return to trusting your boyfriend

Trust Your Boyfriend Step 21

Step 3. Establish new dating rules

If a betrayal has caused you to lose trust in your loved one, you need to establish new rules for that relationship, because it is no longer the same and you shouldn't keep making the same mistakes. Defining new terms will put the couple on the same page and align expectations.

  • Think about the stressors that may have caused the feeling of betrayal or distrust. For example, if you have lost trust in the other person due to a financial problem, decide how you will use the money in the future. Define specific rules and commit to following them.
  • If you have never established any conditions or rules for the relationship, this is a great time to start. Then you will know that you have the same expectations and will come to an agreement on what behaviors are and are not appropriate.
Trust Your Boyfriend Step 22

Step 4. Be sensitive and understanding

Regardless of who has lost confidence in dating, you both need to be sensitive and empathetic to each other's feelings and concerns. This will help them get the relationship back on track and improve the couple's communication.

No one likes talking to a person who is not sensitive to our emotions or doesn't try to understand how their partner feels

Trust Your Boyfriend Step 23

Step 5. Learn to trust instincts and intuition

To be able to rebuild trust within the relationship, you must learn to trust your own instincts, which can be quite difficult right after a betrayal. The more you trust your ability to know someone is honest and sincere, the safer you will feel to trust your loved one again.

  • To become more aware of our instincts, experts suggest paying attention to what the body is saying. Do you feel your skin tingle or a feeling of physical discomfort? If so, your instincts may be telling you to be on your toes.
  • Studies show that it is also important to pay attention to initial reactions or our first response after a given situation. This does not mean making a fuss without any proof, but rather considering what our inner voice is saying before dismissing it altogether.
Trust Your Boyfriend Step 24

Step 6. Don't let fear take over in dating

Fear of betrayal can seriously impair your ability to trust your loved one and move on with your relationship. Avoid letting cravings control the relationship and keep you from being happy.

  • Analyze the source of these fears critically. Do they have any real foundation or are they based solely on your lack of trust in the relationship?
  • Talk to your boyfriend about what could be done to prevent these cravings from taking control of the relationship. Is there a simple way to reassure yourself or your partner and ensure that your fears have no real foundation?
  • The more you trust your instincts, the more you will be able to control and deal with your fears.
Trust Your Boyfriend Step 25

Step 7. Get help

Rebuilding trust within a relationship is a challenge, so don't feel too embarrassed or too embarrassed to ask for help.A marriage therapist, marriage counselor, or other licensed mental health professional can help you rebuild trust after a betrayal and move on with dating.

These professionals are trained to handle this type of situation, and having a third person to mediate the conversation can help the couple to re-establish trust in the relationship

Tips

  • This person is not worthy of your trust if you have betrayed him on several occasions.
  • If you expect your boyfriend to be trustworthy, it's important to behave in the same way.
  • If you have difficulty trusting your loved one or talking about trust issues, make an appointment with a counselor or therapist. A professional can help you explore the concerns, facilitating the development of trust within the relationship.

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