We've all had a crush or an extra interest in someone who only sees us as friends. It's hard to know what to do, especially when that person confronts us. Fortunately, this article has some important tips on how to admire your crush (or crush) from afar and take action to show interest in her.
Part 1 of 3: Taking the First Step
Step 1. Smile
Always walk smiling, even more if people praise your trait. Also, laugh when your crush says something funny - just don't push it. Finally, you can inject some humor into the conversation to make it positive and memorable.
Step 2. Use proper gestures and body language.
Before talking to the person, you have to know how to behave physically to look positive. Remember to make eye contact during the conversation, stay relaxed and be confident.
Step 3. Don't be shy
If you are too quiet, the person will have no reason to be attracted - or worse: they may not even notice you. This part is difficult for someone who is introverted or reclusive by nature. Still, you don't have to talk your way out of being quiet. You just have to speak well and calmly when starting a conversation. In the end, how we say it is more important than what we say. There are several legal matters at your disposal.
- Think of an issue that you and the person have in common that you find funny. This tip applies to everyone. You might even start a conversation with her and end up finding at least one common ground.
- Talk about current things like movies, books, television shows and series, news, or other entertainment topics that the person might know about. The more popular, the more likely she is to be able to discuss the subject (even more so when there's an awkward silence hanging in the air).
- Be positive. Think of things everyone likes: hobbies, pets, vacation trips, weekends, dessert, and so on. These rules aren't universal, but they're more likely to get your crush's attention and interest. Then make the chat more specific.
- Don't talk about negative or sensitive issues. Leave it to topics such as politics, religion, social class or race at another time - so you don't accidentally argue with the person too soon. If something like that comes up in the conversation, laugh and say "Damn… I usually avoid that kind of subject when I'm at parties. It was a close call."
Step 4. Make friends with the person
Before you can conquer your crush, you have to know it. To do this, start with a sincere friendship to familiarize yourself with her interests and find out what your common points are. Every friendship also involves trust, which will be essential when asking the person out. After all, no one likes to date strange and mysterious people.
- Add the person on Facebook and like some posts if they use the social network a lot. That way you'll draw attention and give her an idea of what she's into.
- Don't abandon your friends. Find a balance between maintaining old friendships and creating new ones. On the other hand, avoid being socially aggressive with your crush. Don't explore her profiles on social media from end to end, for example. Think of her as your friend first.
Part 2 of 3: Showing Interest
Step 1. Ask the person questions
This is one of the best ways to show interest. You can ask where she is from, about family, work, hobbies, travel, or things she likes to do. Be specific and lively, but not invasive.
Step 2. Flirt
Sooner or later, you're going to have to start flirting lightly. If she takes the first step, great; give it back. If not, take action: touch her arm or shoulder lightly while talking; give a more personal compliment (like "You're beautiful" instead of "You look very beautiful"); and remember to smile and be confident.
Step 3. Impress the person.
Focus on your qualities. Talk about your job or a sport you play to show confidence - something everyone finds attractive - and to give the person a better sense of your life. You can even brag lightly, as long as you're not arrogant or pedantic.
Step 4. Be patient
The person will not fall in love all of a sudden. The process is time-consuming and permeated by small achievements: spontaneous smiles, replies to messages, more intimate conversations, etc. Don't burn the start, or you may end up dampening your crush or giving the wrong impression of your intentions. Take it easy and have fun!
Step 5. Take care of the appearance
Remember the basic rules: take care of your hair, clothes, hygiene and makeup (if you like). Apply deodorant and a perfume or a light cologne. Don't overdo it so you don't look like you're desperate. Take care of yourself, wear nice clothes and take advantage of your strengths (hair, eyes, height, etc.).
Part 3 of 3: Asking the person out
Step 1. Ask the person out
Remember, you went through a whole process to get here. Keep calm and arrange a casual meeting. If you've developed a friendship before (or at least had a nice conversation or two), you'll probably have an idea of what to do.
Be direct and specific in your invitation. Say something like "Want to go out for a drink after work?" or "Are you free to go out next week? Like Tuesday or Thursday?" When she says yes, make an appointment and ask for the phone (if you don't already have one) for emergencies. Also, pass yours too
Step 2. Continue talking to the person after the date
Send a message or call her, although this is less common. Do this the next day or even the day of the date and say something like "Did you get home okay?" or "It was a lot of fun. We'll talk later. Good night!"
Step 3. Keep interacting with the person
Repeat the previous two steps (the date and the message) to start building a relationship and winning your crush for good. Ask her if she prefers to speak via WhatsApp or the phone - which is a sign of proximity. In the beginning, talk to her almost every day to keep the interest alive and try to arrange at least one date a week.
Step 4. Reaffirm your interest to the person
Don't even think about having a serious conversation about "the relationship" or changing your Facebook status for now. This could backfire. Leave to think about these details in the future. For now, reaffirm your interest as if you were already an official couple: "I had a great time" or "I love hanging out with you," for example.
- Praise the person. Be honest and talk about the characteristics you admire in your crush. Also, understand that these compliments can be implicitly romantic, non-aggressive, or sexual. For example: don't talk about the person's physical characteristics directly, but "You look beautiful in a dress".
- Send a message to the person for no apparent reason. Say "Hi" or that you saw something and remembered it. Be light and simple for your crush to be even more enchanted.
- Give the person nice gifts. Everyone loves to get presents. Just be careful not to extrapolate or give something that is too intimate or suggestive. Give something with your crush's interests in mind and what you've been through together: flowers, a small piece of art, a nice dinner, etc. You can also draw inspiration from areas of interest such as sports, cooking, gardening, literature, cinema or music.