How to Chat with a Girl You Like

Table of contents:

How to Chat with a Girl You Like
How to Chat with a Girl You Like

Talking to someone you're attracted to can be stressful, especially if you have no idea what you're doing. If you're having trouble communicating with your crush, read on and learn how to find your voice.


Method 1 of 2: Getting Comfortable

Talk to a Girl You Like Step 1

Step 1. Develop your interests

You don't need to be an expert to find things to talk about, but you do need to have passions and interests. A person who can talk naturally about the things he cares about always does better in a conversation than someone armed with written instructions and a vague hope of getting a date.

  • Make a short list. List everything that is interested. Look for more details instead of being vague. For example, instead of "music," write "play classical guitar, go to concerts, collect old black music LPs."
  • Expand the list into topics. Using the example above, you could think about what kind of guitar you own or rent compared to the brand you'd like to own, what shows you've been to, and what black music bands you like.
  • Make a mental note of your opinion on each topic. This will help you get to know yourself better. When you talk about any topic that interests you, you will be able to speak confidently about the topic and explain why you are interested in it, which makes for a good conversation.
Talk to a Girl You Like Step 2

Step 2. Practice saying things out loud

Get used to talking, or you'll never be able to speak well. One of the easiest and simplest things you can do to improve your comfort level is to simply say things out loud to yourself. This helps you feel comfortable with the sound of your own voice, and with speaking, rather than simply responding to others.

  • Find a time and a place. Whenever you are alone at home, take advantage of the option. This doesn't have to be something regularly scheduled; just take advantage of the opportunities that may arise.
  • Say something. Try talking a little bit about something instead of just mumbling a few words. Explain to yourself the plot of the last TV show or movie you watched. If you can't think of anything to say, find a book and read it out loud.

    • When reading a book, try to make the words sound naturally, rather than sounding like a mechanized robot staged by many people. Read a sentence or two in your head first, and then say them out loud, as if you've just thought of them for yourself.
    • Poetry books are ideal for this. Poetry is almost always meant to be read aloud, and the concentration required to be able to read a poem naturally will help distract you from feeling silly.
  • Keep talking for a while. Try to speak out loud for at least a minute. Over time, this will help you get used to starting conversations and giving your opinion on subjects, which are important skills for making a good impression on your passion.
Talk to a Girl You Like Step 3

Step 3. Talk to girls

Whenever you interact with women frequently - work, school, clubs or elsewhere - make the extra effort to engage in conversation with them. This will show you that there is nothing to be afraid of talking to a girl, even if you have a crush on her.

  • Start with people you already interact with a little bit, such as coworkers. Ask how their week is going, and use short questions to encourage them to talk more. Most girls will be happy to talk to you for a moment.

    If a girl asks about your week after you've talked about her week, be polite and answer her at roughly the same level of detail she used when talking to you. (Forget about the fact that you're trying to improve your girl talk skills.)

  • Be friendly with project partners. At school or during community service, you will often have to work with a partner. When your partner is a girl you don't know very well, a little genius will go a long way toward making things more comfortable for you both.

    • Try talking about the project rather than asking about it. If she responds well, continue, and mix small talk and simple questions as you start a conversation.

      Don't ask her about herself or her life. Instead, ask her what she thinks of someone else, such as the teacher, or an upcoming event you both are aware of

    • Don't talk too often. Show that your main interest is being helpful and helping to complete the project together. Speak as thoughts come to mind, rather than trying to push the conversation forward.

Method 2 of 2: Talking to Her

Talk to a Girl You Like Step 4

Step 1. Be prepared

If you want to make a good impression on a girl, the least you can do is control her behavior and her hygiene.

  • Maintain a daily hygiene regimen of bathing, cleaning your face, brushing your teeth and hair care. Use deodorant. Cut your nails regularly.

    If you wear perfume, remember: less is more. Spray enough on your wrists and at the base of your neck that the scent can be felt a meter or two away from you, but no further. A good perfume will dry out and last for a few hours; no need to overdo it

  • Always dress the best you can. Wear clean clothes, and think of outfit combinations one night before wearing them so you don't need to make last-minute replacements.
  • Behave yourself. You don't have to stop being the class clown if that's what you are, but you shouldn't say or do anything you wouldn't want your crush to know. You never know the impression this can make on her. Be kind and tolerant of others, and avoid problems with your superiors.
Talk to a Girl You Like Step 5

Step 2. Approach

Whenever you see a good opportunity to talk to your crush to yourself for a moment, even if others are nearby, take the first step and do it.

  • Get her attention. Call her name and wave to her as you smile. Be happy to see her.
  • Go find her. Start walking towards her as soon as she recognizes you. Don't expect her to go where you are. Show that you are proactive and confident by shortening the distance yourself.

    If she seems to be upset or annoyed by your greeting, or if she tries to pretend she didn't hear you, she will never be interested in you. Forget this story and move on. You deserve someone who is happy to see you

Talk to a Girl You Like Step 6

Step 3. Cast your charm on the conversation

By now, you should be comfortable talking to girls, and confident that you are an interesting person, with things to say on a variety of topics. This is your chance to make a great impression with the skills you've developed.

  • If you don't know your crush, introduce yourself and tell her where you've seen them. Upon acknowledging you, she will likely ask a polite question, such as "so, how are you?" or "how are things?" Don't respond with disdain; think carefully and say an answer that will move the conversation forward.

    If all else fails, say you've just seen her and thought about calling her for a little chat. This will allow you to take the lead in the conversation with the next question or comment

Talk to a Girl You Like Step 7

Step 4. Keep the conversation flowing for a while

Ask her about the people and places you both know. Respond gently when she answers your questions, and use mild humor to offer your opinions.

For example, if you had a class with a teacher named Claudio who always looked tired, you could ask her about him, and respond with a remark about how he always looked so tired when she answers your question

Talk to a Girl You Like Step 8

Step 5. Stay positive

Smile and don't be afraid to look at her while she's talking. Remember the old saying: “laugh and the world will laugh with you; cry and you will cry alone.” We make our best impressions when we make others feel happy to be around us.

Leave serious or sad subjects out of the conversation. If such a topic has to come up (for example, if she asks about someone and you know they just died), be honest, but don't let the conversation get lost at that point

Talk to a Girl You Like Step 9

Step 6. Take the initiative

If there's a pause in the conversation but overall she's doing well, tell her about a recent event in your life that has to do with one of your personal interests. Continuing with the musical example from before, you can talk about a concert you recently attended, or an album you just bought.

Don't dig too deeply into your own interests. Keep them general enough so that she can follow what is being said, without needing to have any special knowledge. Make plenty of room for her to interject or change the subject. The important thing is to keep the conversation interesting and alive

Talk to a Girl You Like Step 10

Step 7. Ask for her number

Say it was great talking to her and suggest that the two of you meet again soon; then ask for her number. Depending on how slowly you want to take things, asking for a phone number outright might not always be an appropriate step, but it's a good compromise between simply saying goodbye and asking her out.

Another alternative is to simply ask her to add you to Facebook, or ask for her email address. This is an invitation to go out less blatantly than asking for the girl's phone number, and most people don't mind giving out their information online

Talk to a Girl You Like Step 11

Step 8. Say goodbye

Tell her you'll call (or otherwise contact her) soon and walk away with a smile and a wave. If all went well, you can expect a meeting or even a first date within a week or two.

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