Praising a woman is an easy and effective way to make her feel special and to show how wonderful you think she is. Unfortunately, not all guys know how to do this. Most just make empty comments or repeat the obvious tirelessly and meaninglessly. When a man has mastered the art of complimenting, he will reach a new level of romanticism and consideration among women.
Part 1 of 3: Seeking the best compliments
Step 1. Find out what a woman values most about herself
The first thing you must do is identify what the person likes most about themselves. Try to go beyond clothes or makeup, because it's likely she'll use more to impress others. Try to think of something she really appreciates, like the ability to play a musical instrument. If her dream is to be a mother, for example, and you see that she is good with children, this is a point you can use as a compliment.
Say something like “You are so loving and kind to the little ones, even the ones who throw tantrums. The world would be much better if there were more people like that”
Step 2. Notice what she values in others
Reflect on the way she interacts with people. Chances are, you've seen her praise or say admiring words about someone. When you hear her say something like “I'd like…”, pay close attention, because phrases like that usually say a lot about what the person wants for himself. Now think of a time when she showed a similar characteristic to the one mentioned in the conversation. Many women tend to show in their daily lives the qualities they admire without realizing that they also have these attributes. Making her realize that you are exactly who you want to be might earn you a few points.
- Say, for example, "It's funny that you think you're not as competent as John. I wouldn't have a chance to finish that report if it weren't for your help."
- You can also say something like “Don't worry about being patient like Gina. In addition to being patient, you are very understanding. The way he dealt with Francisco in that situation was admirable”.
Step 3. Observe what she strives to improve
Pay attention to the defects and negative habits she strives to change or improve, and praise when she sees progress. It may not be wise to mention the problem itself, but you can generally praise the attitude. You know that changing to be a better person is not an easy task!
After a difficult meeting where she was criticized by her boss, say something like “You were very balanced and sensible in the meeting. I couldn't have acted like that!”. Avoid sarcasm
Step 4. Try to see beyond beauty
Praising someone for their physical attributes is a delicate situation. Of course, women like this type of comment, but it can have some negative consequences. She's likely to hear compliments like that all the time from people who want to take advantage of them, and she may already have the alert on listening to them. Another possibility is that she thinks you only like her for her beauty (which isn't forever, after all, everyone gets old). You don't need to put aside comments about her beauty, but you'll make better use of them in a better context. When she's dressed for some special occasion, for example.
Try saying something like “The bride is Andrea, but in my humble opinion, the most beautiful woman here today is you”
Step 5. Praise something new
A comment about something new is a way to show that you pay attention to what she does. Generally speaking, men don't usually notice changes like a haircut or new earrings, but when they do, women feel valued. Your mission now is to really pay attention.
"I don't know a thing about shoes, but the ones you're wearing today are traffic-stopping." This is an example of a kind comment you can make
Step 6. Be natural
Compliments mean much more when they're sincere and said naturally – when you say exactly what you're thinking, reacting to the situation at hand. The message you send is that the comment was not something planned and forced, it was something natural. When you see her doing something interesting, simply praise her.
This situation can also be a little dangerous. You need to think about how the compliment will sound to her. Take a few seconds and try to analyze the comment from the person's point of view. Does the comment imply that what she was doing before was wrong? Does it make you look weak, stupid or any other negative trait? Showing respect, above all, is the premise for not creating an uncomfortable situation
Part 2 of 3: Saying the right thing
Step 1. Be specific
Don't make generic comments like "Your hair looks great" or "Your eyes are amazing." Try to make specific compliments to make the person realize you're not lip-service. Instead of these clichés, go for something like "Your eyes light up your face and you look happier" or "Your hair up in this way looks great because you can see your pretty face better."
Step 2. Give a special and unique compliment
Try to be creative. It's nice to give compliments related to hair and eyes, as mentioned above, but it's not unremarkable. You certainly weren't the first person to say her hair was beautiful, you know? Be creative to show that you're not just another one trying to win her over.
Try saying "I love hearing your voice because it brings me home" or "Your elegance reminds me of Audrey Hepburn's golden days."
Step 3. Praise what she can control
It's important to extol things she can control, because mentioning things she has no control over can cause tension and doubts about her own abilities. Imagine a woman who has spent her life listening to "You're beautiful" - she may feel flattered at the time, but at some point she will begin to feel that she is only valued for beauty, and as she gets older and less attractive, self-esteem will be lower and lower because she thinks she has lost value. You don't want her to feel that way, do you?
- Examples of things she can control: education, determination, talents, achievements, personality and the way to relate to people.
- Things she doesn't have the power to change: eye color, skin color, anything related to age and beauty in general.
- Besides, praising a woman for something she can't control is like praising you for your neighbor getting a new job. It has nothing to do with you, so there's no reason to be flattered.
Step 4. Don't comment sexually
The possibility of a woman feeling flattered by phrases like "Hey, hot, are you up for a taste of what I've got for you?" is zero. Even the least grotesque comments are tricky. Avoid saying anything that implies your desire to have sex with her if the girl is not your girlfriend. It's very hard for a woman to be able to discern whether the guy who makes that kind of comment is just an asshole trying to please or is a potential rapist. Don't be the one to plant this doubt in her head.
Step 5. Avoid corny compliments
This kind of praise will seem forced and will have no positive effect. Comparing a woman to a rose or the moon, for example, is one of the tackiest forms of interaction. Objects of comparison may sound poetic to you, but they have absolutely nothing to do with a woman's attitudes.
You can even say something like “Your smile is like a summer day” if it fits the context of the situation and you really feel it. But, in general, this type of phrase sounds like something out of a tacky soap opera or the mouth of a cheap bar patron
Step 6. Beware of outrageous words
It's important to be careful not to say anything that might humiliate others. What may sound like a compliment may end up showing a negative side to your personality. Compliments that denigrate other people's image only serve as a warning to the woman you want to please. She will think your profile is one of humiliating others, and your demeanor will make her wonder if you'll be the next target of your sharp tongue.
- Don't say anything like, “Don't feel bad about Rebekah picking up all the guys. You are so much prettier than her”.
- Prefer something like “I know a lot of guys fall in love with Rebeca, but don't worry about it. You have everything a man is looking for, you just need to stop overshadowing all the positive aspects of your personality.”
Step 7. Make the girl feel important
Nobody likes to feel like just one more in the crowd - and in a world of over 7 billion people, it's not hard for someone to feel that way. Giving her a compliment that makes her feel unique is a way to show that her existence is important to you. Of course, to say something that meaningful you need to know at least a little bit of her personality.
If she has done a lot of volunteer work, say something like “Have you heard of the good chain? You probably don't even realize it, but every action you take in volunteering makes a positive difference that impacts others. What you do is amazing!”
Step 8. Be careful when talking about weight
You may be inclined to praise a woman for having managed to lose weight, but this is a very sensitive issue. Many women (and men too) are sensitive to the issue, and some people lose weight for health reasons – like cancer, for example. Only make comments related to weight loss if you are sure it was intentional. Also consider how to approach the subject:
- Don't make comparisons to the person's appearance beforehand. Cross the phrase “You're much better now” from your repertoire.
- Think about the person's feelings.
- Try praising the effect the weight loss has had on her life, something like "You look so healthy and full of energy" or "Lately you seem so much happier and more confident."
- The best way is to praise her effort to be a healthier person, as this is the admirable part of the whole process. “You are an inspiration for me to seek positive changes in my life too. I hope I can be as determined and committed as you.”
Step 9. Don't feel obligated to praise just to get something
You may well feel compelled to make positive comments to get something, like a date, bedtime, or simply to get closer. But it is important to reflect that a compliment is not always the easiest way to get what you want. In fact, some surveys show that only 50% of women feel slightly flattered by glowing comments. Because of the harassment they experience on a daily basis, many associate praise with negative situations. Sometimes, as bright as it sounds to you, praising a woman in the wrong place (on public transport, for example) can be a shot in the foot. In these cases, the best thing to do is to try to engage in an unpretentious conversation and try to win it over by showing your personality.
Part 3 of 3: Praising the Praise
Step 1. Don't overdo it
Constant praise becomes tiresome. It's tricky to measure the frequency of comments, but you can save your tongue for special occasions or when you feel the time is right. You know that feeling that your heart will explode just because of her presence? This is a good time to say something nice. Or when she's going through a difficult situation, you can tell her how much you think she's a strong person.
The purpose of praise is to make the person feel good, not to score points for kindness. This means that you should leave to comment whenever you want her to feel good
Step 2. Be honest
Women have a sixth sense that clearly signals when a man is not being genuine. The most common mistake is trying to compliment a person you've never met: if you don't know them, how are you going to compliment their positive traits? Before saying anything, think hard. Even the simplest comments can be flattering when delivered from the heart.
That's exactly why children's praise is so good to hear. They may not even know how to express themselves in the most eloquent way, but they don't give praise just to get something or out of obligation - when they make a comment, it's because it's sincere
Step 3. Be respectful
Have you ever heard a piece of advice that the best compliment is one that comes with a small insult? Some people think the best way to win is to make the girl think she doesn't have a chance with anyone but the guy (who, technically, doesn't care about her “flaws”). Forget this advice! With that thought you will only win someone with extremely low self-esteem, who is probably not the type of woman you are looking for. The moral of the story is simple: show respect when making any comments.
As a rule, don't say anything you wouldn't want your mother or sister to hear. If it's the kind of thing that would get you hit by your mother, it's not something to say to any other woman
Step 4. Seize the right time and place
After a business presentation is not the best time to compliment a co-worker's dress. With this comment, she will understand that all the effort for the work was in vain, since what caught your attention was her appearance (although this is not true). This is a good example to make you realize that there are places and circumstances to give a compliment. Whatever the context, it's important not to give the impression that you're just lip-service to get what you want. Saying the wrong thing at the wrong time can completely ruin your chances.
Step 5. Demonstrate rather than speak
Show your affection or your admiration instead of making up some kind of compliment. Attitudes convey sincerity and avoid the fair skirt of not knowing what to say. If you're worried about what might come out of your mouth, don't say anything, just show your appreciation through your actions.
When you see her buying food for a homeless person, for example, make her a dinner the same day or take her out for dinner. And you don't have to do this every time she does a good deed, the premise is the same as the compliment: save it for special moments
- If praising less means doing more (like cooking dinner, for example), follow your idea along with a single praise. With your show of affection, she already knows what you feel.
- Before bombarding a woman with praise, try to approach her in a more natural way.
- Find the right time to make positive comments. When she is feeling insecure, for example, say a few words of support and encouragement.