If you are one of those individuals who has begun to have feelings for your female best friend, these instructions may help you. Dealing with this can be very delicate, especially if she doesn't feel the same way about you.
Step 1. Assess your personalities
Are they compatible? You've probably seen your best friend in a relationship with someone else before. Does she flirt with another person even when she is not alone or does she really become dedicated when she is in a relationship with someone? Examine (and yourself) the common traits of going out with someone and see if you can handle them.
Step 2. Observe your habits
Does she do things that completely annoy you (and vice versa)? If so, the chances of a long-term relationship lasting will be affected. Unpleasant habits are easy to hide for a few months before they become noticeable.
Step 3. Understand your commitment skills
There is much more to "give and take" in a relationship than in a friendship. Can you really meet their needs and wants? Can you do this maturely?
Step 4. Assess your ability to trust
If you are already best friends, you already knew their secrets and some very personal information. Can you trust your friend not to fall in love with someone again or use this information against you if you break up?
Step 5. Understand the attraction
If the attraction is more physical, a casual relationship may be less of a problem than a closer friendship. If you don't want to risk the mental component of your relationship, try to find an occasional sexual partner somewhere else.
Step 6. Notice if she has the same feelings for you
Remember that she may look at you like a brother and then be shocked when you say how you feel about her. This can ruin everything, but it can also make the relationship better. Be careful about opening up too quickly or too fully. No matter what you have to say, there is always a nice way to do it.
Step 7. Take it easy
Don't tell her the right way. Avoid subtle comments like "You know, we've been friends for a long time" or "What would I do without you?" These are harmless ways to show affection towards her. However, don't use them too much because you run the risk of becoming too obvious.
Step 8. Spend time together
Enjoy the same activities you always have as best friends. Show that you are fun to be around.
Step 9. Use humor
If you both have a sense of humor, play games with each other that you like. This serves to entertain both of you (and if you're lucky, you might get a little closer emotionally before you even get what you want). If you have an inside joke, use it when the situation is right.
Step 10. Be available to her
It's important to understand what she needs. If she needs a shoulder to cry on, offer one. If she's cold, borrow her coat. Over time, she will see that you are special. You have to make sure she sees what a great boyfriend you would be and start thinking about that idea. Remember to be there for her because you care about her, not because you expect anything in return.
Step 11. Be patient
If you're lucky and compatible, things will work. Most relationships are built well in advance and are just waiting to happen.
Step 12. Tell her how you feel
This is usually easier for a boy than for a girl, as most girls are full of feelings. Give her a chance to understand you and when you feel the time is right, tell her how you feel. Of course, you could be ruining or losing your friendship, or at least changing it, even if you don't want to. But if you are lucky, then she will consider you and your feelings even more.
Step 13. Be prepared for rejection
If that doesn't end with her liking you too, rest assured. Be casual and try not to make the friendship uncomfortable. Try to make things the way they were before.
- You may feel sad during this time, but don't let it upset you and don't let her see!
- Read articles that give advice on girls with their best friend around. You can see what she might be looking for.
- It's very difficult to keep your feelings a secret when you're young, so you must have given her many signs that you've been interested for a long time. She might even know about it and be just ignoring it so she doesn't hurt him.
- If you have a really frank kind of friendship where you also discuss your love life and she asks you if you've been thinking about anyone lately, or she asks you about a girl you've dated before or that you show interest in, then casually say, “No, just you. I've been thinking about you a lot." Laugh and tell her you're kidding. Pranks like this lighten the mood and make it easier to talk about this topic. After making a joke like that, try telling her you don't have anyone on your mind and is open to meeting someone new.
- If you are not naturally funny, look for someone who is and who is willing to help those in need.
- If you still feel unable to talk to her after a long time, you may end up in situations where you talk to each other much less, if there is conversation. Break the ice. When the time is right and you two are alone in a good place, go and talk to her. A good place to start the conversation might be “Are you avoiding me or is it just an impression?” Watch what she responds. Does she try to keep the conversation short or is she open?
- Buy clothes that you find stylish and comfortable and wear them as much as possible.
- Practice some chivalry. Open the door for her or introduce her to new friends and acquaintances when someone shows up.
- Don't be insecure or desperate. Remember, however: be confident, not arrogant.
- If you express your feelings and she doesn't respond positively, walk away from her for a while. This can be very difficult, but it's worth it. She'll notice you're a little distant. Maybe this will help to rekindle the friendship.
- If you talk to her and she isn't interested, direct your feelings clearly and try to get her to love you. You will lose a very good friend.
- Even if you stay together, it can mean the failure of the friendship. You can be together, but what if you break up later? Even if it's mutual, you would be seeing your love in someone else's arms. How would you feel? Be aware of the future.
- All of this can be very painful. If you really love her, you'll know it in your heart. Pick a good time to tell her and it might end up working.