It can be difficult to tell whether someone is interested in you or not: some are pretty straightforward; others give mixed signals. The stress is even greater if you are also attracted to the person. There is no sure way to tell if (or how much) someone likes you, but here are some tips to better understand the situation.
Method 1 of 3: Looking for clues
Step 1. Watch the laugh
People (women in particular) tend to laugh more when they are interested in someone; That doesn't mean that just because she laughed at your joke, she wants to pick on you. But notice how much she laughs when they are together.
Step 2. Catch her looking at you
Look at the person in spontaneous moments. If you catch her staring, or even taking a peek, there's a good chance there's interest. Both men and women tend to stare at crushes for a couple of seconds before lowering their heads and looking away.
- The person may be trying to flirt with subtlety: he's hoping you'll look at him too. Two can play in this game!
- With eye contact, there are two possible reactions: quickly look away to play shy, or smile affectionately in acknowledgment.
Step 3. See if she listens
When someone turns their head, they are usually interested in what you have to say. Note that this doesn't necessarily mean an attraction; this and attention, however, usually go together. You have a listener, and you're more likely to win him over with words.
Step 4. Feel the touch
Physical contact (subtle or not) is a classic way of showing attraction. See if the person keeps finding excuses to touch your hand or shoulder, or to simply move closer, such as tickling or hugging you longer than others. The more touches, the greater the chances that she's actually attracted.
Try to fight back, even more if you like the feeling: the touch is real and feels right, as well as being electric. Don't be afraid to respond as this is a great way to show that you're up for it too
Step 5. Assess the person's efforts to get them close
Even if there's no touching, there can be a great desire to spend time together: has she volunteered to go to a work event with you, or to be your partner in pairing? Does she go to all of your band's performances? Or, at the very least, say hello to you on WhatsApp? Such an interest in being where you are (and letting you know it) is an interest in other things, if you know what I mean.
Step 6. See if there is “mirroring”
We, as humans, tend to imitate the poses and expressions of people we are attracted to: has she, without even realizing it, changed her legs to sit like you? Or did you slow down your walking speed to match yours? Does she smile when you smile, and look where you look? This is all subconscious of someone who wants to show interest, and one can use that knowledge to better understand the other person's feelings.
Method 2 of 3: Perceiving Patterns
Step 1. Notice how she acts with others
Does your crush live touching your shoulder and hugging you tightly? Are you sure it's just you? Some people are more affectionate than others, and it's not easy to know when (or if) they really like someone. Be careful about assuming a person's feelings (especially one who likes to show affection) based on their actions.
- Know that you are not exclusive: even if she has a crush on you, she may like others too! Don't be put off by the existence of competition.
- Over time, you will learn to distinguish her signs of attraction from the normal behavior she has with friends. It may be different than you might think: some outgoing people become incredibly shy around those they like!
Step 2. Feel the attention
You can feel affection coming from someone who finds you attractive: does she talk about sensitive or sensual things, and does she always ask how you are? It's not a rational thing to understand, but sometimes you can feel an energy between you.
Step 3. Put the puzzle pieces together
Attraction is not an exact science, and will not be evidenced by just one clue. Use your head: if you've only seen her looking at you across the room ONE time, that doesn't mean anything; now if, as you interact frequently, you notice that she laughs at your jokes, mimics your gestures, tries to touch you and stay close to you, start considering the possibility that she is interested.
Ask a friend if you're not sure; someone who has seen you and your crush together, preferably, because that way you can get an outside opinion. Just don't go ask a mutual friend who can tell her
Method 3 of 3: Trusting Your Instincts
Step 1. Run some tests
If someone likes you, try to find out more. Put your arm around her to see the reaction, or give her a longer hug than the others; or even give a mischievous smile when you catch her staring at you. Be bold and flirtatious, and you'll understand (through her reactions) better the situation.
Step 2. Be confident
If you're 100% sure the person is attracted to you, know that they might like your personality a little, too. It's natural to want to be sure and not break your face, but you will need to act at one time or another, which can come in many ways, such as asking her out, having casual sex, or just saying you like her.
Don't push the envelope or be presumptuous; respect her
Step 3. Talk to the person
Direct communication is the best way to know if someone is attracted to you. If there is reciprocity, try to talk to her alone: go slowly, or be direct and confess how you feel; if the timing is right, kiss her; talk about your feelings.
Step 4. Understand the limits of attraction
Being attracted to you doesn't necessarily mean they want to start a relationship. Attraction is a primary feeling: you can't control the amount or existence of it, but you can direct it and decide whether to do something about it (or not). Think carefully about the consequences of taking action.
- If the person is already dating, he may be in favor of monogamy. Do you really want to poke your nose in this and upset the lovebirds?
- She may not be in the mood for a relationship. Not everyone reacts to attraction like you do.