How to Tell If Your Boyfriend Loves You: 11 Steps (with Pictures)

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How to Tell If Your Boyfriend Loves You: 11 Steps (with Pictures)
How to Tell If Your Boyfriend Loves You: 11 Steps (with Pictures)

If you and your boyfriend have been together for a while, you may be wondering if your relationship is serious. Maybe your boyfriend says he loves you, but you're not so sure. If he hasn't said the three magic words yet, there are other ways to know what he really feels. Pay attention to his attitudes and also what he says.


Method 1 of 2: Watching Actions

Know That Your Boyfriend Really Loves You Step 1

Step 1. See if he treats you with respect

If he loves you, then he's interested. This means that he will respect your ideas and opinions, even when he doesn't agree with them. He will also pay attention to the things you like and dislike and try to meet your needs as best he can.

  • Does he ask about your life?
  • Does he seem to really care about your feelings and opinions?
Know That Your Boyfriend Really Loves You Step 2

Step 2. Pay attention to his level of commitment

If your boyfriend has respect for you, then he will commit to everything, including the little things like seeing a movie you don't like just because you want to see it. Commitment is an important indication that your boyfriend really loves you.

  • True commitment doesn't mean "I do it for you and you do it for me." This is not a negotiation.
  • In a moment of contention, does he insist on being right? Or doesn't he mind letting you have the final say?
Know That Your Boyfriend Really Loves You Step 3

Step 3. See where your boyfriend likes to touch you

Most people in love like to touch their object of affection, even without sexual overtones. Does he seem interested in touching your body? Does he like it when you touch him? Touches in public are public displays of affection and show the world that one person cares about another.

  • If you're not sure how it feels to touch you, consider how you feel. Do you feel loved? Or does it seem like he's just trying to “mark territory” when he touches you in public?
  • If he's shy or comes from a culture where public displays of affection aren't acceptable, then he may actually love you, even without the touching.
  • When a man touches a woman's face, it means he wants to be closer to her.
  • Touching shoulders or hands is not indicative of intimacy in most cultures. However, if he places his hand on your lower back or leg, he is likely to be attracted to you.
  • If he only touches you when you're alone, be careful. If he only touches you in public, be careful, too.
  • It is necessary to have respect in the touches. If you don't like to be touched in a certain way, but he insists, it is unlikely that he will feel love for you.
Know That Your Boyfriend Really Loves You Step 4

Step 4. See if he wants you to socialize with his friends and family

If your boyfriend doesn't want you to meet or socialize with his friends and family, then it's probably not love. Whoever loves a person wants to include him in all areas of life.

  • He may find it difficult to introduce you to family members at first if their relationship is complicated or distant.
  • If he treats you differently in front of family and friends, ask why. If he's really in love, he'll be proud of who you are, no matter where and who you're with.
Know That Your Boyfriend Really Loves You Step 5

Step 5. Confirm that he wants to spend time with you, his family and friends

If he loves you, he'll want to meet your family and friends. Even if he doesn't like his family and friends, if it's important to you, he will want to be with them.

  • If your boyfriend avoids his family and friends, maybe he's shy. If he tries to get you to avoid them, too, maybe he has a controlling personality and that's a bad sign.
  • If he's not interested in getting to know your family and friends, then he's not that interested in you.
Know That Your Boyfriend Really Loves You Step 6

Step 6. Notice if he does the things you want him to do

If your boyfriend really cares about you, he'll do what you want, even if he doesn't care much. For example, maybe he goes to a restaurant you like, but he doesn't. Or, at that cultural event you've been wanting to attend and you've invited him to join you. If everything you do is just about his interests, that could be a sign that he doesn't really love you.

  • Doing something someone else wants is an act of generosity. If he insists that you do something for him just because he did something you like, don't take it as generosity, but as manipulation.
  • A man who really loves a woman will pay attention to what she likes and dislikes. He will want to make her happy because her happiness is important to him.
Know That Your Boyfriend Really Loves You Step 7

Step 7. Avoid him if he hurts you

Sometimes people say they are doing bad things "out of love". If your boyfriend says that, be careful. Learn to Recognize a Potentially Abusive Relationship and ask for help.

  • Abusive behavior is not limited to physical violence. If your boyfriend really loves you, he will always treat you with respect. He must never belittle, curse or belittle her in any way.
  • If you don't know whether to trust your boyfriend when it comes to love, ask a trusted friend or relative for advice.

Method 2 of 2: Listening to What He Has to Say

Know That Your Boyfriend Really Loves You Step 8

Step 1. Pay attention if he uses more “we” than “I”

When a man loves a woman, he includes her in his daily routine. When making plans for the future, your boyfriend should include you, too.

  • Does he include you in the plans or does he make plans on his own?
  • When he talks to friends and family on the phone, does he mention something you guys did together? Does he say you're around? Or does he avoid talking to other people when he's with you?
Know That Your Boyfriend Really Loves You Step 9

Step 2. Notice if he apologizes when he's wrong

Some men are easy to apologize but cannot change their attitudes. See how your boyfriend reacts after doing something offensive or insensitive. Does he apologize?

  • People who are always apologetic, but make the same mistakes again, just pay lip service.
  • A boyfriend who is stubborn may have a hard time apologizing when he's wrong, but if he loves you, he'll probably feel uncomfortable until things work out.
Know That Your Boyfriend Really Loves You Step 10

Step 3. See if his words match his attitudes

A boyfriend who says one thing and does another is essentially untrustworthy. A person whose actions and words do not match has a certain misconduct, evidenced by the lack of synchrony between what is said and what is done.

  • You can't trust a person when their actions and words don't match. Even if he loves you, you can't trust him.
  • Often a boyfriend will try to justify this difference between actions and words through negative experiences he has had in his life. This often results in girls feeling sorry for him and trying to help him.
  • Other times, he might try to blame you. The conversation will be reversed to accuse her of thinking negatively. Caution.
Know That Your Boyfriend Really Loves You Step 11

Step 4. Remember that saying “I love you” is not enough

A person who says “I love you” but doesn't act accordingly is not being honest about how they feel. These three words can be used dishonestly to manipulate you. If he says he loves you, consider whether his words match his actions.

  • If you don't know whether to trust someone, ask a trusted person for help. Maybe she noticed something you didn't.
  • If you're convinced that your boyfriend really loves you, then you're ready to decide whether he's good enough for you or not. Even if he loves you, you don't have to feel obligated to love him back.


There are many online questionnaires that can tell you if your boyfriend loves you or not. Do them if you feel you should, but consider the results with caution. These quizzes can be more interesting to help you think about the relationship from a new perspective


  • Remember that abusive relationships happen in many different ways. If you can't say for sure if you're being abused, do some research first for the most common signs.
  • If you find yourself doing things you don't want to do quite often or saying things you don't want to say because of your boyfriend, chances are you're in a hurtful relationship.

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