Found a new person and things are going well? Is the chemistry good, the conversations natural, and does it all fit together? At the time of the first kiss, did you discover that the person is a bad kisser? For many, this can be fatal, after all, kissing is usually the first step towards physical intimacy and a good indicator of what lies ahead. Luckily, in most cases, it's more of a temporary setback than a dead end. To deal with a bad kiss, you need to understand the problem, communicate your preferences, and follow the tips below.
Method 1 of 3: Improving the Experience
Step 1. Create a relaxed atmosphere, especially if you've only kissed once
Could anything in the situation in question have hindered the first kiss? If either of you was drunk, late for an appointment, or in some awkward situation, the kiss might not have been the best. For the next one, prepare in advance.
- Choose a comfortable environment such as a sofa or bed.
- Slightly dim the lights to create the right atmosphere.
- Light candles and play romantic music.
Step 2. Take the lead
The next time you kiss the person, be proactive and give some hints on how you would like to be kissed. It is important to do this in the beginning to prevent bad habits from forming. Make your kissing style apparent from the start so the other person can try to replicate it. If she doesn't have a lot of experience, it should help her develop the skills.
Step 3. Give a fun class
It's possible to turn a potentially uncomfortable conversation into a more fun demonstration. Focus on specific kissing styles you would like the person to follow, explaining them verbally and demonstrating.
- Start by saying something like, "I like kissing like this" and demonstrate.
- If you want to fix something specific, try saying something like, "This is how I like to use my language" and demonstrate.
- If you like being caressed a certain way during kisses, show it too.
Step 4. Use the three prompts method
If there's something specific the person does that bothers you, use the three-warning technique. The first time you say you don't like something. If you have to repeat the process two more times, you used two prompts. If you get to the third one, stop and talk about it. For example, if the person uses their tongue to excess, stop the kiss and say something like, "I prefer it this way" as a first warning, and continue.
Step 5. Practice often
The best way to get both of you to kiss well is to practice a lot. Set aside time during your meetings to make out and enjoy the sessions to practice, give tips and try to eliminate habits that you don't like very much.
Method 2 of 3: Dealing with Specific Problems
Step 1. Find out what exactly you don't like
It's no use saying that the person "just kisses bad" if you want to solve the problem. Think about specific things the person does that bothers you to take care of them. Some things that can go wrong during a kiss include:
- Tooth Tooth: Tooth chattering is a bruise for many people.
- Excessive saliva: The last thing you want in a kiss is a lot of drool.
- Bad breath.
- Too much or too little language.
Step 2. Redirect "lost" hands
You may need to redirect the person's caresses if you're not ready for this type of contact or if they're not very kind. Take the person's hand and lead them to a point you feel comfortable with. For example, take it to your waist or your face.
After the movement, talk to the person who likes to be petted at this point
Step 3. Demonstrate how to use your teeth less
It's common for teeth to "bump" during kissing when both people are anxious and go too thirsty to the pot. There's nothing wrong with that, but it's best to try and take it easy. If the person doesn't get the hint, hold their head gently and ask them to slow down.
Step 4. Control the drool
Excess saliva usually occurs when the tongue moves too much and the lips move too little. Concentrate on kissing the person's lips calmly, slowing the kiss down. If the person keeps pace, the drooling will decrease.
If she doesn't keep pace, break the kiss for a bit. Usually, this is enough to slow things down a bit
Step 5. Control a "lost" language
Know that the acceptable use of the tongue in kisses is very subjective. If the person speaks little, you need to take the lead so that he or she follows you.
- If the problem is language overuse, there are two options. The first one is to interrupt the kiss.
- The person will understand and go more slowly. In some cases, it may just continue as normal.
- If she continues, stop again and ask her to slow down.
Method 3 of 3: Discussing the Problem
Step 1. Ask what the person likes
If you can't change her techniques using hints and tips, you may need to talk directly about the issue. You're not the only one involved in kissing; the person may simply like things different from you. A few things to ask yourself:
- "Do you like the way I use my tongue?" It's possible that your expectations don't match perfectly.
- "Is there anything you would like me to do?" As much as you are doing everything right, the person may want something more.
- "Is there something you don't like about our kisses?" This question is a little more open, but can receive a more sincere answer.
Step 2. Explain what you like
The person doesn't have a crystal ball! Dropping a few hints is a good way to not hurt anyone, but subtlety doesn't always work. If you can't change the person's ways, you may need to be a little more explicit with your wishes.
- Be specific, mentioning exactly how you want to be kissed.
- It is important to use this approach tactfully. Don't criticize too much and try to reinforce the other person's good behaviors.
Step 3. Evaluate the options
In the worst case, you have two options: lower your expectations or break up. If the person is great in every other way and kissing isn't as important to you, it might be possible to keep the relationship going. If you need someone who is a good kisser, the best thing is to end the relationship.
- If you try to explain your needs for a long time without success, a sign that the person will hardly be able to adapt in other areas and will not work as a long-term partner for you.
- It's hard to break up with someone, but remember it's the right thing. Hopefully, the person will get the message and be a better partner for someone else in the future.
- The first kiss can make a big impression, and many people aren't even willing to start a relationship with a bad kisser. If so, remember that bad kisses don't have to be a lasting affliction if you're willing to help someone else. Throwing someone away for a bad kiss can be like throwing a good relationship in the trash. Still, bad kisses can signal that the person is not very responsive or that they are bad at other important things as well. Also assess the person's experience: if the problem is caused by inexperience, there is hope; if she's had a lot of partners and it's still bad, the case is probably already lost.
- A good way to communicate well is to ask the person if there is something you can do better or try. Maybe you can't learn something? The person can also go ahead and ask you the same question. When you don't try to sound superior, receptivity increases. Try saying something like, "I love it when you do this, but I'm not sure how I feel about…".
- Over-imitating the other person's kissing style can help them realize what they're doing wrong, as well as generate a good laugh. Try to create an intimate moment and a pleasant memory to relieve tension.
- Be honest, always! Still, try not to treat the person as a "project in progress."
- Be proactive. Don't wait months or years to discuss the problem. The longer you wait, the harder it will be to bring it up or the person to change.