Maybe you dream of talking to the girl you care about, but you're terrified of getting close. The first conversation can be distressing indeed, but when you do, the girl may notice you and, who knows, maybe like you, too. Analyze her body language to find the right time to approach. Then use an unpretentious question or phrase to strike up a conversation.
Part 1 of 3: Breaking the ice
Step 1. Relax and take a deep breath if you are anxious
It's natural to get that butterflies in your stomach before talking to someone you like! Are you too tense? Deep breathing can save you: close your eyes and inhale for a count of four, hold your breath for four seconds, and exhale slowly for another four seconds. Don't forget to suck in air through your belly. Repeat the exercise a few times until your head cools down.
Also take a few minutes to lift your spirits. Tell yourself you can do it! Also, don't miss the scale of things. The worst thing that can happen is the girl doesn't want to talk to you. Of course it hurts, but it's not the end of the world
Step 2. Say anything to start a conversation
The longer you wait to say something, the more the fear of speaking grows! No need to say anything brilliant, just start a conversation. Even a simple "hello" can do.
You also show your funny side by saying in line at the cafeteria: "I need help! It's impossible to decide. This is killing me! Should I buy the carrot cake or the brigadeiro??"
Step 3. Ask her for something to get noticed
It's not for borrowing, of course! The intention is to ask for a small favor. It sounds strange, but when someone asks us for a favor, we want to help and we may even end up liking the person more.
Don't invent fashion. Think of a simple thing like, "Hi, can you pass me the ketchup, please?" or "Please, what did the teacher write on the last line of the board?"
Step 4. Comment on something the two have in common
Believe it or not, you can have something in common with anyone in the world! Just look around and find out what. Think of something that will make conversation, even if it is unimportant.
- For example, if you study in the same room, say, "That math test was a killer, right?"
- If you're in a cafe, say, "What crazy weather! Yesterday was a hell of a heat and today it's cold!" or "I love this song. Do you know the band?" Also try: "Nothing like a warm coffee on a cold day, no?"
Step 5. Continue the conversation by responding to what the girl says
Keep the conversation flowing. If she answers your question or request for a favor, take the opportunity to engage in a dialogue. Try to choose happy and lively subjects to make a good first impression.
Let's say she says, "Yes! Coffee is the best thing! It even warms your heart." You can add: "That's right! My favorite coffee is espresso, and yours?"
Step 6. Maintain confidence to show interest
When you talk to the girl of your dreams for the first time, avoid doubting her ability or interpreting everything she does as a negative sign. Fight those thoughts! Keep smiling and asking questions, always keeping your posture upright and speaking in a clear voice.
Many people are attracted to trust. Even if you don't feel super safe, pretending is enough. Use body language to your advantage
Part 2 of 3: Observing Her Body Language
Step 1. Smile at her and see if she smiles back
A smile is a sign of willingness to talk. When you show your teeth, it indicates that you are happy to see her. If she makes the same gesture, it's a good cue to get closer.
- Look into her eyes to find out if her smile is honest. You can see when a smile is genuine by looking. If it's just out of politeness, the smile tends to be more restrained and fake.
- See if the smile lifts her cheeks and crinkles around her eyes - signs that he's at heart.
Step 2. Notice if she holds your gaze for a moment
Don't stare at her like a madman, but if their eyes meet, hold yours for a few seconds, smiling at her. If she does the same, she might be interested, too.
Step 3. Look for other signs of positive body language
The body shows who is open to an approach. She may feel like chatting if she turns her body toward you and has her arms or legs uncrossed. Maybe she's messing around with her hair or straightening her clothes.
However, if the body language is more negative, it's better to wait to get to it. Some signs are crossed arms and legs, body turned the other way, frowned, stiffness or discomfort, or looking away
Step 4. Avoid talking to her if the girl is having a bad day
Does your crush seem sad or angry about something? Better to leave it for another day. She probably won't be able to pay attention if she's in a bad mood.
Also, don't get close if she's busy with something
Part 3 of 3: Continuing the Conversation
Step 1. Listen to what she has to say
Any conversation involves an exchange. Concentrate on actually listening to what she says so you can respond correctly. If you're not listening, the conversation can be over quickly!
Nobody likes to hear a person talk nonstop about their life for half an hour. Encourage her to talk about her, too
Step 2. Ask open-ended questions to keep the conversation going
An open-ended question requires a more elaborate answer than a simple "yes" or "no", allowing the girl to talk more about herself. Everyone loves it, except for very shy people.
- For example, don't ask if she likes rock music. Rather ask: "What kind of music do you like?"
- If she gives a short answer, ask another question, such as, "Who is your favorite pop singer?"
Step 3. Also talk a little about yourself
When she asks questions, be honest with your answers. Granted, it's not cool to give a talk about your own life, but the conversation also requires your participation. If you are unwilling to talk about yourself at all, she may wonder if something is wrong.
Step 4. End the conversation in a positive way
If all goes well, try to arrange a next contact. You can even ask for her cell phone to exchange messages or ask if she has any social networks so you can have virtual contact.
You can also suggest the possibility of meeting at another time. Say something like, "Shall we have coffee sometime?"
Step 5. Leave the girl alone if she doesn't want to talk
Even getting down or upset when a girl doesn't want to talk to you, you need to respect her wishes. If she doesn't feel like chatting or doesn't want to go out with you, thank her in the same way and leave.
Rejection hurts, but you shouldn't take things personally, after all, you can't know what's going through her head right now. Perhaps the girl is so preoccupied with performing in a subject that she doesn't have time to think about anything else
- Are you too eager to take the first step? Talk to the girl in a larger group of people until you are more comfortable talking to her alone. Trust your putter!
- If you really like her, try to be a good friend first.