You love your boyfriend, but you are in a delicate situation. After the first few months of passion, the flames have reduced to embers and you're struggling to find a way to stay sexy. To keep things interesting, you have to embrace sensuality as a lifestyle and learn to think, act and look sexy. Keep reading to bring that side of you back.
Method 1 of 4: Be Yourself
Step 1. Know your limits
While being sexy can help spice up your relationship, it's important to know when enough is enough. Here are some signs where you should cut sensuality:
- If you are feeling sad or depressed. There will be days when you'll ask your boyfriend for a tissue instead of making out. If you're feeling so bad that you can barely function, know that it's okay to put off sex. If your boyfriend knows and loves you, he will understand.
- If you're not in the mood. There will be days when nothing you do will give you that feeling of passion, and that's okay too. A forced sensuality is worse than taking time "for me" instead of time "for sex".
- If his actions make you uncomfortable. If you think he's taking your romance too far, it's time to back off. If you find yourself feeling uncomfortable often, then it may be time to end the relationship.
Step 2. Know your man's limits
While it seems impossible that there will ever be a time when your boyfriend isn't in the mood, accept that he's human and may not be feeling all that sexy. Here are some signs that may show he's not in the mood to respond to your advances:
- If he is tired or sick. If he seems physically incapable of having sex, chances are he doesn't want to. If he'd rather lie in bed than roll over, don't force him into anything undesirable. He might feel guilty about not being in the mood to respond to your advances, which will make you feel worse.
- If he's stressed. While sex can be relaxing, your man may be so preoccupied with his new job that he may not be able to focus on you, so give him some time alone.
Method 2 of 4: Act Sexy
Step 1. Be brave
Boldness and sensuality are close cousins. You can't be sexy if you're afraid to try anything crazy or out of your comfort zone. To be sexy with your boyfriend, you can try to be bold in the following ways:
- If you're talking to him on the phone, surprise him with a spicier conversation. He will be surprised - and excited - by your sudden sexual behavior.
- Take a chance. Try exotic food, go sky diving, or go rock climbing. It will make you more open - and sexy.
- Be clear about what you want. If you're really in the mood for something, tell him your wishes. He will respect you for sharing your true feelings and will be encouraged in the process.
- Be bold, but know when to act. Surprising your boyfriend with something sexy is a plus, but trying to do it when he's really sick or not in the mood is a big mistake. Before taking the plunge, ask yourself if your boyfriend is in the mood for what you have to offer.
Step 2. Be spontaneous
Some of the sexiest moments you will have with your boyfriend will be completely spontaneous. Leave room for sensuality at any time in your life, even if you're just having dinner or watching a TV show. Here are some ways to be spontaneously sexy:
- If you're feeling sexy, take the initiative. Even if you're not in the middle of a sexy activity, kiss your man or touch him in a subtle way to let him know. If subtlety doesn't work, try saying something spicy so he knows what's at stake. He'll be more than just surprised.
- When he gets back from work, turn off all the lights, close the blinds and lie down naked on his desk. When he turns on the lights he will be in for a real surprise. However, don't do this unless you plan to have some kind of sexual relationship later. A guy won't just be surprised by his girlfriend naked at his desk and then leave to read the paper.
- Surprise him in public. While you don't need to consummate the fact in the backseat of your car or somewhere inappropriate, a simple special touch or kiss at the right time can show him that you're ready for something more. And if you're both alone and not offending anyone, you can take time out for romance.
- Remember that a good soldier is always prepared for battle. Be prepared to be sexy anytime. Try to keep your legs shaved, your skin clean, and your breath fresh and mint-flavored as much as possible so you're always ready when the moment comes.
Step 3. Remind him of how sexy you are when he's not around
You can be sexy with your boyfriend even when he's across the country, or across the world. If you guys are sexy while he's not around, he'll be even more eager to come back. Here are some ways to be sexy when he's not around:
- If he's not in town, chat via video chat. At some point during the conversation, start stripping. Don't take everything out too soon. Play a little game.
- Send him sensual - but tasteful - messages in the evening.
- Give him a sexy photo to take with him so he always remembers what he's missing.
Step 4. Show off your sexy body
When you're not in the bedroom, your boyfriend has to keep thinking about what your body has to offer. Here are some ways to be sensual without needing sex:
- Walk in a sexy way that emphasizes your butt or cleavage.
- Take him for a walk or other physical activity where you can show off your body. Your boyfriend will feel your sensuality just by looking at him.
- Dancing can be very erotic. Maybe learn to belly dance or striptease; this type of dance will give you sexy posture and irresistible body confidence.
Step 5. Choose sexy foods
The right meal can go a long way towards being sexy with your boyfriend.
- Cook for him. Make something sweet like a cake, muffin or cookies and then feed it naked. Your nudity will undoubtedly lead to other activities.
- Give him chocolate. Kiss him as you pour the chocolate into his mouth. Then just leave without saying anything. He will definitely follow you.
Step 6. Tell him how sexy he is
Don't get so busy acting sexy that you forget that your man is sexy too. Reinforce that thought by simply telling him how sexy or manly he is.
Step 7. Leave him wanting more
Don't throw your starter, main and dessert on the table all at once or your boyfriend will get a stomachache. Instead, be subtle with your sensuality without throwing it all away. There is a difference between being sexy and being easy. Here are some ways to leave him wanting more:
- Don't go straight to sex after a make-out session. Let him stay on top of your body so that his passion builds.
- Don't have sex with him every time he wants - unless you're in the mood, of course. Instead, be sexy when you feel that way.
Method 3 of 4: Look Sexy
Step 1. Have a sexy face
No matter what you think, your face is really the first thing your boyfriend notices, so always keep looking sexy and the rest will follow suit.
- If you're comfortable wearing makeup, put on enough to leave your eyes with a smoky look and your lips with a silky, suggestive shine.
- Give your boyfriend some sexy looks. Simply looking him in the eye can let him know how you really feel about him.
Step 2. Wear underwear that makes you feel and look sexy
Knowing you're wearing such an outfit can make you feel sexy, or give your man a hint of your plans for later, leaving him horny for the rest of your night. Some sexy items are:
- A thong, lacy lingerie, push-up bra, pearls, corset, high lace stocking or spandex.
- Avoid any uncomfortable fabric that might irritate you, which is the sexy post.
Step 3. Keep it simple
You don't need to wear designer lingerie. As long as you wear something out of the ordinary and show off a little more of your body, your man will think it's sexy that you're wearing it for him.
Don't wear anything so elaborate that it's impossible to take off. This can cause frustration and other setbacks when you are alone
Step 4. Look provocative - not vulgar
If your clothes are revealing more than they're hiding, your boyfriend will be embarrassed to be seen with you instead of feeling turned on.
- Make sure your dresses and skirts are like a good story: short enough to keep things interesting, but long enough to cover everything.
- It's nice to show a little cleavage, but not so much that your chest is showing.
- Showing off a little bra strap can be sexy, but showing off the entire bra is awesome.
Step 5. Have sexy hands and feet
Take care of your other extremities so that your man is more turned on by you.
- Take care of your hands and nails so that your man will be amazed when you hold them.
- Keep your feet groomed and clean so you can smell sexy in bed.
Method 4 of 4: Think Sexy
Step 1. Love your appearance
If you think you're sexy, your boyfriend will too. Instead of asking him for a backup asking his opinion about your look, take pride in showing your beautiful face and body.
- Choose at least three attributes you like about yourself and show them off. If you love your legs, wear a shorter skirt. If you think your arms are just plain killer, expose them in that perfect tank top.
- Have fun with your body. Dance in front of the mirror listening to your favorite music and you will see how good it feels to be in your body.
- Be healthy. Eating right and exercising can have a positive impact on how you think about yourself. Exercise can also be the opportunity to do something sexy with your boyfriend, like taking salsa lessons.
- Pay attention to the way you talk about your body. If you're wearing a new dress, instead of asking your boyfriend "Do I look good in this dress?" tell him "I look beautiful in this dress, don't I?" He will be interested because you love the way you look.
Step 2. Be confident
There's nothing sexier than showing your man how confident you are. Instead of wasting time telling him how wonderful you are, he'll be busy loving your natural peace with yourself, which can make you look even sexier. Here are some ways to be confident:
- Be aware of the things that make you beautiful, unique and talented. When you are in doubt, remind yourself of these qualities. It might even help to write them down somewhere.
- Be confident - up to a point. Part of trusting is accepting that you are a flawed person. You are already wonderful, but there is always room for improvement. Your boyfriend will be impressed not only by your confidence, but how comfortable you are with admitting you're not perfect.
- Food is also aphrodisiac: whipped cream, melted chocolate, wine, strawberries, etc. Give him these foods in whatever way you see fit.
- Put on music to set the mood. Make a song selection and play it during your date.
- Understand that some of the things said above (waiting for him naked, etc.) are for people who are in a comfortable, sexually intimate relationship. If you've never even given a peck, don't try this (yet).
- Never do anything you feel uncomfortable doing. If he gets it wrong, he might try to take it further than you intended.
- Don't rush him.
- You don't have to be vulgar to be sexy.