Asking for a girl's phone number can be pretty intimidating, isn't it? You don't know how she's going to react, and fear of rejection can cause you to avoid the situation altogether. Still, if you really like her and want something more, asking for her phone number is the first step towards that. Come on?
Part 1 of 3: Preparing to order
Step 1. Understand that the girl can refuse your request
No one is required to pass the phone number on to others. She can have as many reasons as she likes not to give you the phone. Just accept!
- Knowing this can be great, after all, "no" is the worst thing that can happen in this situation. It's easy to end up thinking about everything that can happen in life, but her saying "no" will be the worst possible outcome.
- Prepare for rejection. It's hard, but when you accept it, the whole situation will be less frightening and less intimidating.
Step 2. Prepare yourself psychologically to ask for her phone number
In addition to being an attractive trait, confidence will make you more comfortable during the conversation. For more ideas, check out the How to Be Confident article.
- A good way to be confident is to keep everything in perspective. Asking for her phone number might seem like a huge task, but you'll probably forget about it all in a while.
- Remember that you can reverse her rejection, but don't get your hopes up.
- It sounds silly, but assume an imposing stance (like Superman flying, for example) for a few minutes before asking for her phone number. Some experts believe this can help confidence.
Step 3. Ask a friend to talk to her to assess the girl's level of interest
If you're not sure if she would want to talk to you, ask a friend to bring it up. The only negative response is for her to say that she is not attracted to you. If the girl says "Oh, I don't know him well" or something like that, don't be discouraged! Maybe she doesn't know you well, but she's willing to talk to you, all it takes is a little courage on your part.
- Your friend must be a trustworthy person. It's not good to risk your chances with the girl by asking a friend to ask invasive or uncomfortable questions. The idea is for him to subtly tap your name, just to see if the girl has any interest.
- This situation can help you gain confidence, but it's nothing more than a step closer to asking for her phone number. This isn't some seven-headed bug!
Step 4. Understand that asking for the phone is not the same as asking for her hand in marriage
Just having her phone number doesn't mean you're going out together! This is just one way to stay in touch with her and build a relationship together for the future.
This should also give you enough confidence and reduce the intimidating factor of the whole situation. As much as she suspects you have a romantic interest, asking for a phone number doesn't give away all your intentions
Part 2 of 3: Asking for her phone number
Step 1. Go to her and start a conversation
It's not good to approach the girl and simply ask her phone number. Ideally, this should be done within a conversation. Talk about a movie or TV show you watched, ask about her day, etc. Discuss some lighter conversations to get started.
- Chatting will also help to analyze whether the girl is interested in you. If the answers are brief, maybe she doesn't want to talk. If she seems interested in talking to you, great sign!
- If she laughs at your jokes (even the ones that aren't funny), that's a sign that she's interested and would certainly pass the number on to you.
Step 2. Suggest keeping in touch outside of your current environment, be it school, work, or anything else
Talk about something that would require an external contact. If they study together, for example, comment that you have difficulty with a lesson and that you would like to ask her for help. If you work together, say you'd like to call her for dinner or coffee sometime.
Observe well how she reacts to the suggestion of a meeting outside the environment they are used to. She smile? Do you mess with your hair? These are some signs that indicate interest
Step 3. Ask for her number
Don't go around too much, or you'll look insecure. It's very simple, just say: "Can I have your phone number?". Many people are afraid to ask this as there is the implication of a potential relationship, but just be blunt.
- Much of the nervousness of this situation can be avoided with a little simplicity. It's better to ask her right away, rather than making things up like "ask a friend" or "for a group job."
- When asking for her phone number, speak clearly. Since this is the focus of the conversation, be confident and articulate when asking. It's not a good idea to have to repeat the question.
Part 3 of 3: Getting in Touch for the First Time
Step 1. Send a text message
Nowadays, communicating through apps like WhatsApp is more welcome than calling the person, and it's also less intimidating. Send a message about a conversation you've had before, or start a new topic.
- Don't just say hello. The idea is to start with a sentence that can be turned into a conversation. The responsibility for starting a conversation is yours.
- Try to make a joke, but don't cross any limits. Be yourself when talking to the girl, without ever pretending to be someone you're not.
Step 2. No need to ask her out right away
Remember that just because the girl gave you her phone number doesn't mean she has a romantic interest in you. Maybe she likes you as a friend or just doesn't want to reject the request.
Exchange a few messages to see how she reacts. In addition to keeping up the conversations at school or work, chat on the phone too
Step 3. Avoid controversial or "heavy" topics in the beginning
It's better to get to know the girl better before leaving the lighter conversation. Some things to discuss:
- TV shows.
- Dreams for the future.
- Funny stories.
Step 4. At the right time, ask her to go out with you
Chances are you asked for her number because you had a love interest in the move. If that's the case, don't wait too long to invite her on a date, after all, this can be the first step in a relationship.
- Talk about topics that interest the girl, or you may end up in an awkward silence.
- Don't expect too much, but don't be reckless either. Getting the timing right is essential when dealing with romantic relationships.
- If the girl wears a kissing emoji, she expects you to do the same. Quantity is important, so follow your heart!
- When calling her, let her speak. Don't dominate the conversation!
- If she doesn't respond to your messages, either way: either she's not interested or she passed you a fake phone number.
- Please review your messages before sending them. It is important to avoid ambiguity: if the message can be interpreted differently, rewrite it!