According to poet William Butler Yeats, "Love is crooked, and no one is wise enough to know it in its entirety." Even if you've been dating someone for a while, it's not always easy to know if they love you. Love can be expressed in many different ways; to find the answer you're looking for, you need to pay attention to your partner's words and actions.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Recognizing the Signs of a Lasting Relationship
Step 1. Know the difference between falling in love and loving
While there are many feelings associated with passion, it is often a very passive and emotional experience. Continuing to love someone can be extremely difficult, and requires a more active approach and greater involvement in the relationship.
- “Love” is a verb, that is, an action you need to continually practice in your relationship. Consider how your girlfriend actively contributes to making your relationship as good as it was in the beginning (or better).
- Notice how your girlfriend uses words and actions to reinforce her commitment to the relationship.
Step 2. Consider how you both handle conflict in your relationship
Most couples resolve their conflicts with fights or “freezing” their partner. Sometimes the resentment of a fight can last for months. Some deliberately avoid uncomfortable subjects and keep everything to themselves. Others freeze emotionally, blocking all attempts at communication.
- Couples really committed to the future of the relationship try to work as a team and solve the problem. They avoid blaming each other, seeking only to resolve the situation.
- In a healthy and loving relationship, both parties need to know how to forgive and forget, as any lasting resentment can lead to conflicts that can end a relationship.
Step 3. Think about whether you both have similar priorities and goals in life
This is a very important step, as compatibility is a practical aspect of every relationship.
Opposites attract, but rarely make a good, lasting relationship. Sharing tastes, values, priorities and life goals makes a couple create a deep and healthy connection
Step 4. Determine if you and your girlfriend have the four dimensions of intimacy
Authors Ronald Adler and Russell Proctor II have identified four ways in which we feel intimately connected to our partners: physically, emotionally, intellectually, and through shared activities. To find out if you and your girlfriend have already reached this level, complete the following exercise:
- List the four dimensions of intimacy in a vertical line. Identify yourself and your partner on the list as A and B.
- Based on your relationship, rate each dimension as "good", "could improve" or "non-existent".
- Ask your partner to do the same thing, or write down the answers you think she would give.
- The more positive combinations of responses, the greater the likelihood that the couple will have a lasting relationship. Since there is no static relationship, especially if it is healthy, rankings can become even more compatible over time.
- Understanding each other's needs will help ensure that a couple in love lasts for many years.
Step 5. Ask your friends and family what they think of your girlfriend
If the people closest to you encourage you to break up with them, it could be an indication that you are not with the right person.
As important as it is to trust your own instincts and feelings, know that when your friends and family support your relationship, it's usually a very positive sign
Method 2 of 3: Paying Attention to Your Girlfriend's Words and Actions
Step 1. Listen to her tone of voice when talking to you
See if there is any difference when she talks to other people. If your partner uses a sweet, caring tone when talking to you, she probably considers you a very special person and cares a lot about you.
Step 2. Notice if she calls often, or wants to spend most of her time with you
Investing time in a relationship is an important indicator of commitment, especially if your partner is trying to balance the relationship with other commitments, such as school, work, or family. A truly committed person will use whatever time is available to be with you.
Love triggers the release of serotonin in the brain, and it is believed that high levels of serotonin can make you constantly think about your partner. So when she calls and says she was thinking about you, this is an indication (chemistry) of her feelings
Step 3. Does she ask about your day when you are talking?
As small as this gesture seems, it shows that she is interested in even the smallest details of your life. It also helps to keep communication open between the couple, which improves the relationship.
Step 4. Look for signs that she respects your opinion and judgment
Regardless of your differences of opinion, she still needs to be open-minded, listen to your views and treat your opinions with respect and interest.
- If your partner really cares about you, she needs to be willing to listen to her opinions and ideas, and to be involved in discussions about which you have different points of view.
- She should also include him in her decisions, whether it's about what to make for dinner or whether or not to take on a new job. Although she doesn't need to consult with you all the time, she should still be interested in hearing what you have to say about something.
Step 5. Notice if she always wants to know where you are
Partners who really care will give you the benefit of the doubt by avoiding snooping on your cell phone or checking your credit card statement, so you know where you've been and with whom.
That kind of trust shows genuine caring, and it's a great sign of a lasting commitment
Step 6. Does your girlfriend make you feel good about yourself?
A good partner can increase your self-esteem. They should provide positive reinforcement and make you feel loved.
This doesn't mean that your relationship will always be a bed of roses, but overall, you should feel that your girlfriend supports you and gives you the trust you deserve. If you're happy with a person, you'll want to spend more time with them, but you'll also see the time you spend apart in a more positive way
Method 3 of 3: Discussing Your Feelings
Step 1. Create an intimate and private environment
It can be very difficult to declare your love in a crowded room, so prepare dinner or take her to a secluded spot where you can have a deep conversation about your feelings.
This will make you both more comfortable talking about your feelings honestly and openly
Step 2. Be honest and direct and you'll be more likely to know exactly how your girlfriend feels about you
Step 3. Don't be afraid to show your emotions
Your girlfriend may need a little encouragement to talk about her feelings.