3 Ways to Love a Married Man

Table of contents:

3 Ways to Love a Married Man
3 Ways to Love a Married Man
Anonim

Falling in love with a married man can be a very painful experience. He might be the perfect guy for you, but circumstances aren't cooperating. In a situation like this, it's important to learn to deal with your emotions, pain and jealousy. You also need to set limits to protect yourself. As the relationship can be temporary, it is necessary to focus on a happy future, with or without the man you love. Come on?

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Taking Care of Your Emotional

Love a Married Man Step 1

Step 1. Find a friend you can vent without being judged

Falling in love with a married man can cause many conflicting emotions. You may feel happy that you have found love, but you may also feel bad that he has another family. Look for someone to support you in this difficult time.

You might say something like "I really need to talk about my relationship, but I know not everyone would understand. Can I trust you?"

Love a Married Man Step 2

Step 2. use awareness to deal with jealousy.

One of the biggest problems with dating a married man is that he will always be thinking about his family. When the guy prefers them, it's normal to feel a little jealous, but know that it won't help at all. To avoid this behavior, work your conscious mind to stay steady in the moment.

When you start thinking about your boyfriend's wife, work your senses so you can focus on what's going on around you. What do you see, hear, feel and smell? Say, "I can see the sun coming in through the kitchen window and the delicious aroma of my food. I hear the music on my cell phone and feel the heat of the sun warming me. I can taste the food I just made and I'm grateful for this one time."

Love a Married Man Step 3

Step 3. Don't try to compete with his wife

If you know the guy has a wife, it's normal to want to feel superior to her, but trying to outdo her is unlikely to make the guy end the marriage. The most you can do is be sad. Instead, work on your personality and do things that are important to you. If it's meant to be, the guy will love you for who you are.

  • Don't stalk his wife on social media or ask your friends to do it. Don't ask him about her either.
  • When you find yourself thinking things like "Why did he choose her?" try to shift your attention to the good in your life. Mentally repeat things like "Had a great weekend," "I got a raise," or "I have best friends."
Love a Married Man Step 4

Step 4. If you feel guilty, forgive yourself for falling in love with a married guy

It's okay to feel guilty about loving someone unavailable, but mentally torturing yourself isn't going to fix things. Remember that you just want to feel loved and that you deserve to be happy.

Mentally repeat something like, "It's impossible to control who we fall in love with. I deserve to find love and I won't feel guilty about loving someone unavailable."

Tip:

write a pardon letter and destroy it. This can help her process her feelings.

Love a Married Man Step 5

Step 5. If you're hurt, be honest with the guy

Depending on how the affair started, he may not realize you're in love. It's painful to love a man who doesn't love you back, so talk to him about how you feel and what you want. This can help the relationship or you realize it's time to move on.

  • You might say, "I know we started with just one affair, but I've fallen in love with you and I want to discuss our future together."
  • It is possible that he will be uncomfortable with this conversation. It's hard to hear a denial, but know that you'll be able to get over it. Ask your friends for support!
Love a Married Man Step 6

Step 6. Talk to a therapist if you are suffering from this situation

You are at a stressful time, but you don't have to go through it alone. If you are feeling overwhelmed, a therapist can help you deal with your emotions and reframe your thoughts. In addition, the professional can help you decide what is best for your future and pursue your goals.

  • If you feel that no one supports you, the therapist may be the answer. The professional will focus on what's best for you, without judgment.
  • Look for a professional online. If you have health insurance, see if you can get reimbursed from the psychologist or see a psychiatrist who can prescribe therapy.

Method 2 of 3: Setting Boundaries

Love a Married Man Step 7

Step 1. Be discreet

When having an affair with a married man, discretion is important to avoid hurt feelings. Chat with the guy to find out what you can share with your friends and on social media. It's also good to be careful about public places that go together.

If people find out about the case, your situation can get complicated and it can all bring heartaches to the surface

Love a Married Man Step 8

Step 2. Don't change your plans just because he wants to see you

When you have a thing with a married guy, it's normal for him to prioritize the family and that can make your plans difficult. Remember that your time is as valuable as theirs and deserves to be respected. Don't drop everything just because the guy has decided he has time. Make it clear that he must make plans and honor them.

Say: "I miss you too, but I've already made plans with Luiza today, so we'll have to see each other another day. My time is also important, you know?"

Love a Married Man Step 9

Step 3. Decide what you will accept and what you will not

Dating a married man can be very difficult. It's okay to feel like you need to accept what he has to give, but you deserve to feel loved. Think about what's important to you and what you need to do to feel safe. Then discuss these points with the guy.

  • For example, you might want to talk to him every day, spend your birthday with him, and make plans in advance.
  • Or, you may decide that you want him to ask for a divorce.

Tip:

you can't demand anything from anyone, but you can set limits on what you accept and what you don't. If the guy is not willing to honor his limits, he has to decide whether he wants to continue with the relationship or not.

Love a Married Man Step 10

Step 4. Say what you expect from the relationship and set a timeline

Depending on your personal goals, you can expect him to marry you - or not if he doesn't want a wedding. Because you love him, however, you may hope for some kind of future together. Say exactly what you want and give the guy a deadline. That way, he won't be able to wrap it.

For example, let's say you want him to leave his wife and marry you: "You always said you wanted to be with me, and so do I! If we're going to keep this up, I hope you get a divorce in the next three months so we can get married at the end of next year"

Love a Married Man Step 11

Step 5. Break up with him if he doesn't want to commit

It's important to say what you want, but the guy doesn't have to obey. If he ignores your requests and refuses to meet your deadline, maybe the man isn't really investing in the relationship. Stop and think about what you really want: maybe it's better to move on.

As hard as it is to leave someone you love, it's good to remember that the guy will probably never be alone with you. If he's not willing to move on now, he'd better give up

Love a Married Man Step 12

Step 6. Think long before you tell his wife about the case

You might think that revealing the truth will help, but it's likely to backfire. The guy can get angry and side with the woman, and everyone present will be hurt. This decision needs to be weighed a lot.

Ask him to be honest with his wife: "I think she deserves to know the truth. Lying is wrong and is messing up our relationship." It's possible he won't obey, but you've done your part

Method 3 of 3: Building Your Future

Love a Married Man Step 13

Step 1. Ask yourself what you are getting out of the relationship

It's very helpful to understand what drives you to maintain the relationship with the guy, as this will help you decide what outcome you want. Do you hope to one day marry him? Want to enjoy the freedom of an open relationship? Think about how it all started, what you like about the relationship, and what you see in the future.

  • For example, maybe you find that you like being in love and hanging out with the guy. If he's not willing to offer it in the long run, it might be better to go it alone.
  • If, on the other hand, you find that you are a very busy person and that you enjoy having free time, you may decide that you want to continue with the relationship as it is.
Love a Married Man Step 14

Step 2. Decide what you want for the future and go for it

You deserve to be happy, even if the guy can't be part of your life. Imagine the future you would like and set goals to reach it. Break the goals down into smaller goals that can be put into action immediately to build the future you want!

For example, your goals might be to build a career, find a hobby, get married, and have children

Love a Married Man Step 15

Step 3. Take care of your life outside of the relationship

Loving a married man can end up taking a lot of your time, as you never know when he will be available. The problem is, it's not fair to you. Instead of revolving your life around him, do things that make you happy. Some options:

  • Spend more time with your friends.
  • Stick to your hobbies and interests.
  • Take courses and learn new things.
  • Discover a new hobby.
  • Work out.
  • Apply for interesting job openings.
  • Go on vacation alone or with the family.
Love a Married Man Step 16

Step 4. Hang out with other men until he agrees to have an exclusive relationship

If you're seeing a married guy, you don't have a monogamous relationship. Don't feel obligated to be "faithful" to him, as he is not loyal to you. Stay open and go out on dates to see if there's someone more compatible with you out there.

  • A good option is to stay active on social networking sites and apps.
  • Even if you love the guy, it's possible the relationship has no future. Maybe you can find someone better?
Love a Married Man Step 17

Step 5. Finish everything if you know you need to move on

It is very difficult for an affair to turn into a marriage and it is painful to leave someone you love but this may be the best option. Talk to him and find out if you have a future together. If he doesn't have a commitment, it's better to get it over with. Tell him you love him, but you can't go on like this.

Say, "I love you so much and I wish things were different, but I know you will always choose your family and I need to move on."

Tip:

he will likely try to contact you in the future, saying that things have changed and he needs you. Be careful about accepting it, as your problems won't magically disappear.

Tips

  • Only 5% of unfaithful men exchange their wives for mistresses. It's understandable to expect your partner to fit into this tiny group, but it's better to protect yourself.
  • You deserve a relationship completely yours. Don't stop looking for someone who can maintain an honest relationship with you.

Notices

  • He will likely put his wife and children in front of him, which can be painful. You deserve to feel loved, so look for someone you can trust to handle this situation.
  • As much as he may make promises, be honest with yourself. Don't get your hopes up, especially if the guy is in the habit of lying.

Popular by topic