How to Win His Heart: 13 Steps (with Pictures)

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How to Win His Heart: 13 Steps (with Pictures)
How to Win His Heart: 13 Steps (with Pictures)

So you have a crush on that guy you see every day at work and you want to know how to win his heart. While you can't really make someone fall in love with you, there are some ways and rules you can follow that can help you get their attention and start thinking about you. See step 1 to get started.


Part 1 of 2: Getting His Attention

Win His Heart Step 1

Step 1. Be confident

The most important way you can attract the guy of your dreams is to be confident and happy with yourself. Trust is one of the most important characteristics a person can have and will make you less anxious about failure, which makes it difficult to take the first step and enter into a potential relationship.

  • Don't judge yourself or others too aggressively. If you focus on all your faults you will find that you are all you have to offer, and if you focus on the faults of others you will intoxicate your own brain with negative thoughts.
  • Don't compare yourself to other people. Someone will always be more attractive than you, more successful than you, and have more romantic partners than you. Focus on the things you have rather than the things other people have.
Win His Heart Step 2

Step 2. Smile

If you want people to notice you, especially that guy of your dreams, you should give him a little smile and cultivate a positive attitude. Make eye contact. This will show your interest in a non-threatening way, and maybe even intrigue you.

Win His Heart Step 3

Step 3. Get in his way

This doesn't mean you should chase him wherever he goes, but if you know he likes to frequent a certain coffee shop or bookstore, feel free to spend some time there and meet him "by chance".

  • This will give you a chance to talk to each other without having a bunch of people around like you would if you were at a party.
  • Don't do this all the time, or he'll think you're stalking him. Once or twice is ideal, before it's obvious what you're up to. conquer it).
Win His Heart Step 4

Step 4. Stay calm

You don't want to be a sticky and super obvious when trying to win the guy's heart, because it won't look cool. However, that doesn't mean you need to hide your interest or pretend not to be interested. You should look like you're interested without overdoing it.

  • You might try giving a compliment or two; something that isn't too exaggerated (exaggeration would be “You're the cutest guy I've ever met”), such as: “Wow, that shirt is awesome” or “I love your new haircut”.
  • Show that you have more to do than just think about it. When the two of you talk, casually mention some of the fun things you did last week (even if it's things like the wonderful book you read, the video game tournament you played in, or the football game you won). It shows you have interests and a life of your own.
  • When you meet him, after talking for a while, say that you have to go out to meet a friend or that you have to be somewhere else. That way you'll make it look like you have things to do and people to see, rather than looking like someone who's just been waiting to find you.
Win His Heart Step 5

Step 5. Make him laugh

Often, the key to someone's heart is through humor. The saying goes that “the couple that laughs together stays together”. If you make him laugh at the things you say, it will make him enjoy your company more and want to be with you more often.

  • A good way to do this is by mentioning something that is mildly humiliating that happened to you. Mention the time you mistook a stranger for your best friend and slapped the girl on the ass, or the time you missed the bus step and fell through the door in front of everyone. It shows that you don't take yourself too seriously and that you can laugh at yourself.
  • You don't need to belittle yourself or talk about how dumb you are. A confident person doesn't need to belittle himself, because he knows how great he is! And trust is attractive!
Win His Heart Step 6

Step 6. Be nice to the guy's friends

He will listen to his friends' advice on the question of whether to date you or not, so you should make sure you are number 1 on their list. This doesn't mean that you should agree with everything they say or that you should let them get over you (though if his friends are that bad, maybe you should rethink this guy you want to attract), but it does mean that you must be nice to them.

  • When you're with him and his friends, pay close attention to what they say and show that you are interested in their interests. You don't have to pretend to be an expert on the subject if you aren't. Just ask a few questions and listen.
  • Don't feel like you have to step aside when you're with the guy and his friends. Participate in activities and show them things you like and think they might like. This will show that you respect them and are interested in getting to know them better.
Win His Heart Step 8

Step 7. Use the "3 strikes and you're out" rule

This rule allows you to avoid committing yourself to something that won't go anywhere, because who has the energy for it? It means you've given the guy opportunities to get to know you better and if he hasn't taken 3 opportunities then it's probably not worth it.

  • If you think he's interested but is shy, there's no reason not to ask him out. That way, even if he says “no”, you will have a firm answer and not be thinking “what if”.
  • The reason this is a good rule of thumb to follow is that you don't want to chase after him like a puppy desperate for love. If he hasn't shown interest after a while, then he won't come anymore, or he'll only be interested in having sex with you because he knows you're desperate (stay away from guys as long as you can). Unless you're just interested in sex, you're going to get hurt by it.
  • An example of this would be: you meet him at a party and talk to him, then show up at his favorite coffee shop and meet him there, and then talk to him during class. If you've given him three opportunities to ask you out on a date (or even for coffee), and he hasn't done anything after those three times, stop trying and move on.

Part 2 of 2: Deepening the Relationship

Win His Heart Step 7

Step 1. Have a successful first date

Now that you're past the flirting stage, you're going to need to have that first date. A good way to win his heart is to have a successful first date that the two of you will enjoy. He will want to spend more time with you.

  • Make sure you have something to talk about, as it can be quite awkward if during a first date you don't talk about something that's appropriate for a closer relationship (this is probably not a good time to talk about your anxiety issues). You can start the conversation with the following topics: what are your favorite Sunday activities, a band or album you loved, what was the last movie you saw and what did you think of it, what is the funniest thing you've seen in public.
  • Dress appropriately. This means that you should dress in a way that feels comfortable but is also appropriate for the occasion. So if you go to a 4 star restaurant, you should wear something a little fancier (a dress, or nice pants and a button-down shirt or blouse). If you go to a coffee shop, be a little tidier than usual (shirt instead of T-shirt, no ripped jeans, etc.).
  • Remember, at the date, you must be yourself. You don't want the guy later in the relationship to expect you to be someone you're not. It's not fair to either of them. You don't have to talk about everything right away, but you shouldn't be hiding anything either.
Win His Heart Step 9

Step 2. Pay attention to his interests

A good way to let someone know you're interested and that you care about them is to be interested in the guy's interests and his opinions on things. You don't have to understand these interests or even like them, but being interested enough to talk to the guy about these things will show you're interested.

  • For example, if the guy loves sports and you're more of a reading type, that's fine! Ask questions about his games. Learn some of the terminology so you can talk more freely.
  • See if he's also respecting your interests and hobbies and if he's interested in them. If not, it's a good sign that he's either a narcissist or not very committed to having a relationship with you.
Win His Heart Step 10

Step 3. Don't belittle it

There is nothing that makes someone feel better or more loved than showing that person that they are valued. Find ways to show that you understand what he does for you and that you appreciate having him in your life.

  • Directly saying “I'm so happy to have you in my life” is a good and easy way to make sure he knows you value him.
  • Do little things that show you appreciate him. If you're skilled, you can do something for him, like knit a burrow, make a wooden box, paint a canvas, and so on.
  • Also, you can do something considerate for the guy, especially if he's going through rough times. Bring some special cookies, help him edit his curriculum or an essay, or offer to take his sister to the airport so he can study.
Win His Heart Step 11

Step 4. Keep some space

This step is important for both of you. You don't want to get into one of those "can't breathe without you" relationships, no matter how cool the movies make it sound. Make sure the two have a little space away from each other and the relationship.

  • Keep your relationship with your friends. Go out with them. Have slumber parties and movie sessions just with friends, where boyfriends are prohibited.
  • Pursue your hobbies and interests. Travel alone or with your family, take knitting lessons, learn karate. That way, when the two of you are together again, you'll have plenty to catch up on!
Win His Heart Step 14

Step 5. Decide if it's really worth it

Maybe at first he seemed like a great guy, but it's a good idea to take a look at the relationship before you start doing a bunch of stuff to win his heart. You have to make sure that his heart is really what you want, or even if it's really possible to win him.

  • Of course, if he's emotionally, physically, or sexually abusive, you should back off now. If he isolates you from his friends and family, if he belittles or humiliates you, whether alone or in front of people, if he manipulates or forces you to have sex when you don't want to, or if he says he's going to kill himself if you do. abandon, any one of these signs shows you should drop out.
  • Some questions to ask yourself about the relationship: Are you both open and honest with each other? Do you feel better with him, or do you think you have to watch what you say? Does he respect you? Do you think you're the best version of yourself when you're with him? And him, do you think?
  • You should never feel like you need to "fix him" or "make him better". You must be in a relationship with someone who doesn't need you to be their therapist or their mother.
Win His Heart Step 13

Step 6. Tell him how you feel

Sometimes the best way to get what you want from a guy is by telling him how you feel and asking him if he feels the same way. Many times you can take over and over again for decades and do everything you "should" do and still not know whether you've won his heart or not.

  • Be open and direct. Say that you really like him and that you want to know how he feels about you, or how he will feel in the future.
  • Be ready to hear the answer, even if it's not what you want to hear. He might not feel the same way, but that's okay. Remember, he's the one losing, not you.


  • Stay fragrant. It's a seduction that takes less than a second to work!
  • Don't be afraid to be bold! It's the only way to win his heart.
  • Body language: Twist a lock of hair around your fingers – feel sexy when you need to!
  • Learn something new every day! Something clever and useless, like, “Did you know that in Thailand they used scorpion serum for face cream?” instead of “What's up?” not funny. Change things up a bit!


  • Don't make things up just to impress. I know some of you might be thinking this is silly, but it's true that some people still tend to do this. The guy will find out who you really are sooner or later.
  • NEVER change who you are completely. If you're a playful person, show it or the guy will fall in love with who he thinks you are, not who you really are.

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