3 Ways to Fall in Love

Table of contents:

3 Ways to Fall in Love
3 Ways to Fall in Love

Is it hard to fall in love? Well know that if you're trying, the first thing to do is be open to it, so learn to let your guard down. If you're not seeing anyone, put your face in the sun and go meet new people. When you have someone in your life, try to stay positive and enjoy this step of getting to know each other. Remember you can't rush love, so be patient: try not to push things and let the connection between you happen naturally.


Method 1 of 3: Letting Your Guard Down

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Step 1. Identify your defense mechanisms

Ask yourself if barriers have ever been put in place to keep you from getting hurt. Opening up to someone isn't easy, and if you've ever been afraid to let someone get too close, it's okay. For you to fall in love, you need to be open to it and understand your defense mechanisms to disable them.

  • If you've had other relationships in the past, try to remember times you avoided getting close to your partner. You may have been slow to say how you felt about him, for example, for fear it wouldn't be reciprocated.
  • It's hard to think about defense mechanisms, especially since they are often related to past hurts. Try to be honest with yourself and remember that everyone has their fears and insecurities.
Believe in Yourself Step 15

Step 2. Accept those things you cannot change

Don't forget that no one is perfect and accept the person you are. This can help, and a lot, when falling in love and finding the ideal partner.

  • That said, there's always room for improvement! Of course, you can't get taller or shorter, but you can eat better, exercise, and always try to be a better version of yourself.
  • Don't let yourself forget that you are a great person and have many qualities! Look in the mirror and say to yourself, “You are a nice person, so don't be afraid to be yourself! Relax and allow yourself to like someone”.
Be Happy Step 7

Step 3. Keep critical thoughts away

Everyone has an internal critic and at times self-criticism can become irrational and totally unrealistic. If you find yourself thinking things like “I'm not good enough” or “No one will ever like me,” take a moment and remember to be more realistic.


Whenever you identify negative and intrusive thoughts, redirect them. Replace “you never do anything right” with “nobody's perfect, but try your best. Everyone makes mistakes and that's no shame."

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Step 4. Resist the temptation to play games

Playing hard and hiding your feelings are super common practices in modern relationships, but it's always better to be honest about your feelings. Of course, you don't have to say everything you're thinking on the first date, but try to be authentic and leave games aside.

  • If you went out with someone, for example, and had a lot of fun, tell that person. If you feel like sending a message saying “Loved it last night! I had a lot of fun!”, go ahead. Don't feel like you have to wait three days before you call or feign lack of interest to get them to chase you.
  • Opening up is an important part of building a relationship. You don't have to go out confessing your biggest fears after ten minutes of conversation, but you'll never fall in love with someone if you just play games.
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Step 5. Don't be afraid of rejection

It hurts a lot to have unrequited love, but everyone goes through it and it's not the end of the world. Don't deprive yourself of the joys of love for fear that something will go wrong.

If you get slapped and things don't work out, don't take it as a big problem. Relationships end for many reasons and just because you didn't work out with someone doesn't mean that no one will ever want you

Method 2 of 3: Meeting New People

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Step 1. Don't wait for things to fall into your lap

If you're not seeing anyone yet, try to start a conversation with new people. You can say hello to the person behind you in a line, chat about the weather in a coffee shop, or have lunch with someone different at work or school.

  • Finding love can be a little work. Don't assume that at any moment the right person will fall from the sky. You need to meet people and understand what you are looking for in a partner.
  • Even if you're not interested in hanging out with the person, chatting with them can help get you used to social situations.

Examples of starting a conversation

"For me, the coffee here is the best, don't you think?"

“Hi, excuse me, I was looking at your book. Machado de Assis is one of my favorite writers!”

“Wow, and this time! I don't know about you, but for me, it's past time for spring.”

“Did you also find the homework infinite? Or was I the only one?"

Believe in Yourself Step 3

Step 2. Get a hobby or join a club

So you can meet new people and get out of your comfort zone. Look for activities that have to do with you so that, above all, you can meet people who have similar tastes to you.

If you like to read, for example, join a book club. You can also take cooking classes, yoga, climbing or start playing football. If you are a student, try to get involved in other activities at the school. If you have a dog, why not take him for a walk and meet other pet owners?

Make a Long Distance Relationship Work Step 1

Step 3. Give online dating a try

Write a concise description about yourself using interesting language. Cite your main interests, without stretching yourself too far. When taking pictures, be careful with the definition, always look at the camera and smile!

  • Take it easy and trust your instincts when meeting people on the internet. Chat through the website or app and only give your phone number when you think you should. Before meeting her in person, it is also important to speak on the phone first and always make an appointment in public places.
  • Keep in mind that dating sites are legal for adults only. If you are under 18, meet people at school, through friends or on other courses.
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Step 4. Think about the specific qualities you expect to find in a partner

When it's time to go out there, giving people matches, don't go thinking that you will receive some signal when you meet your soul mate. Of course, intuition plays a role in all of this, but ideally, you should have a mental list of traits you're looking for in others.

  • For example, for you, perhaps characteristics such as responsibility, honesty and a sense of humor are the most important. Also, if you have some dreams, like having kids or traveling the world, it's important to find someone who also shares them.
  • While physical attraction is important to lighting the flame, don't let it be your priority. It is much more important to find a person who values ​​and accepts who you really are.
Start a Conversation When You Have Nothing to Talk About Step 9

Step 5. Avoid quick judgments

It doesn't matter if you met someone at school or on the internet, keep an open mind. It's good to know what you want and what you don't want in a person, but try not to jump to conclusions and assume that they're not good enough for you.

  • Likewise, never tell yourself you're not good enough for someone else. Try to be realistic and don't underestimate yourself.
  • Keep yourself open to the possibilities. You might find yourself feeling something for someone you never imagined.

Method 3 of 3: Building a Lasting Relationship

Fall in Love Step 9

Step 1. As that song said:

“let it happen naturally”. Do your best to get rid of this need to control the relationship. When it comes to love, things don't always turn out as we expected, so be patient. You can't force yourself to like someone, nor can you force someone else to fall in love with you.

  • If not having control over things makes you a little nervous, take a deep breath and tell yourself, “Don't worry and don't take everything too seriously. You like being with that person and that's all that matters. If she's not the love of your life, no problem!”.
  • Along the way, you will meet people who seem perfect in theory, but in practice things turn out to be very different from what you imagined. It's impossible to force love on someone, and if you're dating someone and don't feel anything for them, take it as a learning curve. Eventually you will find the right person for you.
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Step 2. Try to maintain a positive and curious attitude

When you're out with someone, try to have fun. Learn more about the person, tell about yourself and do new things together, always focusing on fun and trying not to pressure yourself or expect too much from each other.

  • For example, on first meetings with a new person, ask questions and show interest in the answers. If you are really in love, you will be dying to know more and more about the person.
  • Even after falling in love with someone, keep the flame of positivity and curiosity burning. Falling in love is something that happens, but keeping love is the result of a series of choices. Try to continue to have fun with the person, always learn more about them and share your new experiences.
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Step 3. Express yourself openly with your partner

Communication is essential, whether you are starting a relationship now or have been married for years. Whenever possible, try to have a good conversation with your love, sharing your fears and dreams, telling about your day and talking about your relationship.

To improve the quality of your conversations, find some time that you can spend without distractions, such as during or after dinner. Leave the yes-or-no questions aside, saying something like, "So, what was the highlight of your day today?"

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Step 4. Talk about your plans and goals

It's good to talk about your intentions for the relationship and where you see yourself in the future. Over time, try to address issues such as marriage, children and family.

  • Meeting each other's needs is a big contributor to falling in love with someone. Having common goals and working together to achieve them can be a great help in strengthening bonds.
  • Also, it's a good idea to know if you have similar goals in life. For example, if you think it's time to settle down, don't go be with someone who doesn't want a serious relationship or doesn't think about having kids when that's your biggest dream.


The right time to talk about things like moving in or getting married depends on the relationship. Try to bring up the subject you have without putting too much pressure on your partner. You might, for example, ask, "Do you think about having children someday?" or "When do you think it's a good time for a married couple to move in together?"

Fall in Love Step 5

Step 5. Share new experiences to keep things interesting

Having a routine is great, but be careful not to settle down! Strengthen your bonds by doing new things and seeing different places. If you feel that the relationship is in need of a little help, talk to your partner and see what you can do together.

  • Always make an appointment and try to do different things in each one of them. You can go to new restaurants or explore unfamiliar corners of the city.
  • Take on new adventures or learn something new together. Why not go diving, climbing, hiking or cooking lessons together?
Know if That Person Truly Loves You Step 15

Step 6. Show interest in your partner's hobbies

It is very important to encourage your interests outside the relationship, giving space but never leaving the crowd.

  • Let's assume he loves running. You can even do other things together, but let this activity be his alone. It's good to have some time for yourself, always trying to encourage each other, showing how happy you are for your victories.
  • When they have been in a relationship for a long time, it is common for people to feel that they are losing their personality. Having personal goals is also a great way to keep the relationship very healthy.
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Step 7. Do small actions for each other

This is a great way to show your partner that you love him. Before going to work, for example, leave a note with the words “I love you! Have a great day!" or do the dishes after dinner. These little things help a lot to get your feeling back.

If you feel like you're no longer in love with your partner, small displays of affection can help. Take the initiative and leave cute notes around the house, give a little gift or do the chores he hates most. When he sees that you are doing what he can for the relationship, he will follow your example

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Step 8. Find healthy ways to handle conflict

Raise the problem or behavior that is bothering you calmly and constructively, without attacking the other. It's impossible to agree on everything in a relationship and knowing how to deal with these things is the key to falling in love and keeping the flame burning.

  • You can say, for example, “look, I think most of the housework is staying with me. Can we divide them better?” Avoiding attacking the other person with comments like "I'm tired of you being so lazy!"
  • When you're in the middle of an argument, avoid holding a grudge, bringing up things from the past, threatening to end the relationship on impulse, or making sarcastic remarks.
  • If you or your partner need to cool off, avoid walking around and giving him ice. Instead, it's better to say something like, “I think we need some space. We'd better talk about it when we're calmer.”


  • Don't fall in love with a person just because they're beautiful, nice, or spends a lot of money on you. Love must be based on mutual respect, trust and compassion.
  • Casual, unpretentious encounters are a great way to learn more about yourself and how you handle each other. So if you've started venturing into the dating world now, try not to take things too seriously or expect to find the “right person” right away.
  • Love is really scary! Opening up to someone and showing your vulnerable side takes time, so be patient.
  • If you've had bad experiences in the past, try to sort things out and remember that this person didn't hurt you. Do your best to overcome the past and live this new moment.
  • If you find you can't let your guard down and fall in love, talk to a psychologist. This professional can help you understand and overcome this problem.

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