Every girl dreams of the moment when she will be asked out. Well, even so, there are times when it is difficult to reach a conclusion whether or not it will be worth the effort to accept the invitation. However, with a little thought and determination, you will be able to find the right answer.
Part 1 of 3: Saying yes
Step 1. Be positive and simple
Think carefully about what will be said and don't beat around the bush. Otherwise, he could be confused and even hurt. Avoid giving “It's okay with me” and “I think I can go” answers. Both sentences convey the idea of hesitation, generating nervousness and leaving the boy insecure with himself. Be nice, try an answer like: "Yes, I would love to!"
- There are many other ways to show excitement and certainty, for example: “Great!”, “Of course, I would love to!”, “Yes, I'm glad you invited me!” and “It would be wonderful!”. These answers are simple but mature, and serve to show him that you have a more adult attitude.
- In the case of an invitation made by text message, there are also some good examples of responses: “Perfect, see you there;)”, “Yes!” and “I thought you would never call me:D”.
- It is not necessary to have the most perfect answer in the world. There's nothing better than a sincere smile and a "Yes!" excited.
Step 2. Try to rehearse the conversation
If you already know that you will be asked by someone on a date, start by imagining the scene as realistically as possible, so that you can anticipate and work through any fears that might arise in the real situation. Handpick the words you want to use in the answer and repeat them out loud until you feel confident enough.
Step 3. Practice positive body language
Words are only half the answer. Since you will be excited about the invitation, your body needs to express it as well. There are some simple ways to show your enthusiasm through your body.
- Display an open posture, which includes not crossing your arms or legs. That is, keep your arms loose and your legs apart, in line with your shoulders. A closed posture conveys the idea of fear, hesitation and anxiety.
- Keep eye contact and smile. It's hard not to be shy in the face of an invitation, so it's tempting to look down or into the eyes, avoiding eye contact. However, fight the shyness and look the boy directly in the eye, smiling sincerely and showing that you are as excited as he is.
- Don't be afraid of affection. If you want to hug him after the invitation, go ahead! Showing affection appropriately (with a hug or kiss on the cheek, for example) is an easy way to express your excitement.
Step 4. Be more confident.
In order to be able to converse naturally with the guy you're enjoying, it's necessary to recognize your own value and trust in your personal abilities. However, self-confidence is a quality that is built over time, through rituals and daily routines.
- Make a habit of praising yourself. Focus only on your strengths and constantly remind yourself of your best features. For example, whenever you look in the mirror, say, "I'm a very caring and sensitive person, so I deserve to be self-confident."
- Talk about your insecurities with friends and family. It's easy to sink into negativity and self-doubt when you don't talk to anyone. So go to people close to you when you're sad; they will surely remind you of your qualities and how many people care about you.
- Take time for yourself and immerse yourself in the activities you love most; paint, play, sing, read, practice your favorite hobbies to keep you always on the move and interested in the good parts of life. Remember that happy people are self-reliant.
Step 5. Keep going if you start to stutter
Don't worry about tripping over words when answering, this is normal. In fact, he might even find your nervousness cute. So don't try to be perfect, just answer him in some way he can understand as "yes".
Step 6. Talk to him again if necessary
It could be that you got so nervous, shy, or confused that you accidentally said “no”. In that case, the best thing to do is talk to him as quickly as you can and make your feelings clear. Explain calmly and simply what happened. For example: “Wow, I was really surprised by your invitation yesterday. I was so in shock at the time that I ended up saying 'no' without thinking. But I would love to go with you!”.
Step 7. Find out his intentions
It's too vague to just ask "Want to go out with me?" Even after you have eventually accepted the invitation, try to find out what the boy's real intentions are. Would he like to start a relationship, have a casual relationship or just watch a movie? It's important to clearly understand what he wants so the two don't get frustrated by having different goals.
Part 2 of 3: Deciding if this is the right guy for you
Step 1. Reflect on whether you really want to date him
Does the guy have an interesting personality that attracts him? Are you really attracted to him or just excited that someone asked you out? Could you start a serious relationship with this guy?
- If most of your answers were affirmative, it is a sign that you would like to maintain a serious relationship with him. However, in case you still don't know him very well, it's important to get to know him better before going out together.
- If you've said “no” most of the time, it's better to think or rethink your answer. Don't forget that the correct answer is the one that will make you happy. Therefore, when rejecting or giving a chance to luck and accepting the invitation, be careful not to regret it later.
- Don't be afraid to ask for time to think. Starting a relationship with someone is something that needs to be taken seriously. Understand that new invitations will come up in the future, so you don't have to accept someone you don't like right away.
Step 2. Think for a moment about the qualities you would like to see in your partner
Write down the characteristics you would like it to have. For example: religious beliefs, hobbies, career goals, values, physical attributes, sexual preferences and lifestyle. Organize everything, from the most important to the least, so that it's easier to know what criteria you're open to compromise on. Finally, try to point out which of the listed features you could find in it.
Step 3. Assess what your motivations are for saying “yes”
Determine whether they are all about trying to cover up your own insecurities or actually wanting to be in the boy's pleasant company. The connection that you will establish after the eventual acceptance of the invitation is not the kind that can be broken the very next day, after all boys are not toys; they have feelings that must also be respected.
Step 4. Ask for a day or period to think
Do this when you are taken by surprise or are too in doubt to respond right away. If he doesn't respect your request, you shouldn't even accept the invitation. On the other hand, if he really cares, he will give him the necessary time to think and this will be a good sign to be taken into account during the decision.
Part 3 of 3: Continuing the Relationship
Step 1. Think of a way to meet again
It's important to keep the flame burning after the first date. For this, a good idea would be to mark another one right after. Maybe this time the initiative might even be yours.
Step 2. Keep communicating
For example, send a text message after accepting the invitation, saying how excited you are for the date. If you prefer, bring up other subjects. Ask him about his day or share some thoughts you've had that wouldn't tell anyone.
Step 3. Know how to discern when it's not working.
Unfortunately, the relationship may not work out, even if you have accepted it as best you can. However, there are many warning signs that can be picked up right away, even when it comes to a casual relationship.
- Look for signs of possession. It's not right, for example, that he wants to know where you are all the time, even worse if the relationship is just beginning. It's important to have room for your own independence in the relationship.
- Find out if he's still hooked up with another girl. There are people who mend a relationship in another just to make up for the previous one. So ask the ex-girlfriend to gauge the level of feelings he still has for her. Tell him a little about your old boyfriends too, so he feels more comfortable opening up.
- Listen to friends' advice. Introduce him to friends and family to see how he will react in their presence. Even if you know what's best for yourself, pay attention to the opinions of the people you love before judging if he's the right guy.
- Don't suffocate it. It's true that it will be difficult to hide your excitement about an impending new relationship, but try to control yourself so you don't text him all the time.
- Keep being independent. Only accept an invitation if you are already feeling happy with yourself. The boy will only come to complement this happiness.
- Recognize your value, never depend on anyone to do it for you.