How to Choose the Right Man to Marry: 15 Steps

Table of contents:

How to Choose the Right Man to Marry: 15 Steps
How to Choose the Right Man to Marry: 15 Steps

Choosing a life partner is a complex decision and should not be taken lightly. Before choosing a man to marry, ask yourself several questions and assess what you want. Understand your role and responsibility in maintaining a happy relationship and admit that it's up to you to build the relationship you want. Trust and love who you are and strive to integrate families on both sides. Talk about the differences and the problems that can arise if you get married.


Part 1 of 4: Meeting Your Own Needs

Choose the Right Man to Marry Step 1

Step 1. Know what you want

Think about the qualities you want in a man: ask yourself what you most admire about the opposite sex and how you want to spend time with a future husband. You can make a list of things you want and are not willing to give up, such as children or religion. Think about the kind of people you want to share your future with.

If you're already dating, be honest and assess whether you really like the direction of this relationship or if, deep down, you're just waiting for someone else to show up

Choose the Right Man to Marry Step 2

Step 2. Enjoy yourself the way you are

Before getting married, the priority is to feel good about yourself. Know your best qualities and the parts you can still improve. When choosing a partner, find someone you feel comfortable with being who you are. Look for a person who reveals the best of their personality, such as their kindness and good humor. You shouldn't feel that you need to change because you're not enough for someone else.

  • You should feel free to express your thoughts and feelings with an open heart without fear of judgment or ridicule by the person.
  • It's not a good sign to feel pressured to be different or act in a certain way to get his attention.
  • Make sure you're ready for an appointment. Reflect on the phase you are currently living in: are you ready for a wedding now or for years to come? Or do you want to achieve things before that? Have you already defined well what you want to take such a big step?
Choose the Right Man to Marry Step 3

Step 3. Put yourself first

Think about your goals and what you want out of life. Then find out if he will support and be a part of these achievements. Your future husband should be someone who helps you grow and be a better person in every way. For example, if you want to live in another country, find a supportive partner to join you in this endeavor.

Look for a man who supports you and encourages you to pursue your dreams and desires

Choose the Right Man to Marry Step 4

Step 4. Find out if he wants to get married

If you're dating a guy who says he doesn't want to get married, there's no point waiting for him to change his mind. To find the right husband, date young men who want to marry in the future. If the relationship gets more serious, ask about his dreams and desires. If your boyfriend doesn't include marriage in the answer, ask him directly.

  • If you feel like you've been bullied by your boyfriend for years on end, have a serious conversation and say what you want.
  • Don't be afraid to ask questions and don't postpone this conversation for fear of the answers. This is a fundamental question if you have a dream of getting married one day. It's good to know if your partner thinks the same or not.

Part 2 of 4: Taking practical issues into account

Choose the Right Man to Marry Step 5

Step 1. Examine the couple's compatibility

Being compatible is just feeling united in some way. It could be that they both enjoy spending their free time in the same way, share a hobby, or just enjoy being together. Think of a partner considering the connection points.

Maybe the two of them love camping or they already have kids – no matter what, but it's good to have at least one element that connects the couple. It may be that you have similar beliefs or that you value family

Choose the Right Man to Marry Step 6

Step 2. Have similar styles of dealing with conflicts

Each person has a different way of dealing with problems in a relationship: some get angry and scream, others run away, and there are also those who prefer to resolve the conflict right away and give in. It doesn't really matter what your style and your partner's style are, as long as the two are similar in that regard.

  • Assess how you tend to deal with conflicts and find a man who has a similar approach. Even if his style is different, you should understand each other well and be able to solve problems together.
  • Conflict resolution can help both of you to understand each other better and not hold onto each other's grievances.
Choose the Right Man to Marry Step 7

Step 3. Talk about religion

If this is a very dear topic for you, find a partner who shares the same beliefs. Marrying someone who has a different belief can damage the relationship and bring problems in the future, so think about how religion can affect couple and family life. If you think it's critical that your future husband have the same religion as you and your family, there are two options: try to convert him or break up. Talk openly about religious differences and how they will affect marriage and children.

Make concessions on both sides. Learn to accept his religion and get to know it better

Choose the Right Man to Marry Step 8

Step 4. Talk about finances

Assess how you handle money and find a man who has a similar attitude. Are you one of those who budget in detail and like to save? Look for a partner with the same values. Money can become a big issue and a source of conflict in marriages, so get to know your prospective husband's habits first.

What do you two think about having separate bank accounts or a joint account? Formulate a plan to pay off debt, invest and share the money

Choose the Right Man to Marry Step 9

Step 5. Strengthen family relationships

Decide the role of the family in your future marriage. If you want a strong family presence in your life, choose a man with the same intention. Some people don't even care about in-laws, mothers-in-law and relatives, while others spend a lot of time with their own. The ideal is, at the very least, to feel welcomed and accepted by the boy's family and make him feel the same about yours.

If you don't have a good relationship with your own family and want to feel connected to your future husband's family, look for a man who lives close to your parents and has a good relationship with them and siblings

Part 3 of 4: Observing His Behavior

Choose the Right Man to Marry Step 10

Step 1. See if there are any emotional ties

Establish an emotional connection with your partner. No one has to submit to begging for attention or feeling like it's not a priority in another's life. You should feel that you have the attention you deserve and that the couple has a real emotional connection.

  • Look for a partner you can talk to openly and who makes you feel understood.
  • For example, those in a healthy relationship know they can count on each other in good times and bad.
Choose the Right Man to Marry Step 11

Step 2. Observe the boy's friends and family

Talk to him about his relationship with friends and family. Look for a man who can have lasting relationships and keep old friends. Assess how he behaves with these people: how he handles conflict, demonstrates support, and engages with the people he loves.

If he has a lot of conflict in relationships or has cut friends and family out of his circle, ask him what led him to these attitudes and why they happened so often

Choose the Right Man to Marry Step 12

Step 3. Prepare to change together

The person you marry may not be the same person in five, ten, or 50 years. Both change, so be prepared for that fact. Changes are physical, mental and emotional. Perhaps you become parents or go through other life-changing situations. At these times, make a commitment to change together.

The right man is flexible in the face of change and approaches you in those moments, not moving away. Notice how your suitor behaves in the face of changes in his life and ask yourself what he would do in the future

Part 4 of 4: Making your contribution to a healthy relationship

Choose the Right Man to Marry Step 13

Step 1. Take responsibility for your actions

OK, you want to find the right man, but you also need to be the right partner for your future husband. It's easy to blame the other for everything that goes wrong in the relationship. However, we cannot change anyone but ourselves. It's easy to place a man in the category of "right" or "wrong", but then his role in dating is disregarded. You alone are responsible for the relationship you want.

Take responsibility for your feelings without blaming your partner and see if he does the same. If you feel frustrated, talk or take the initiative to change things

Choose the Right Man to Marry Step 14

Step 2. Accept his faults

Recognize from the beginning that there is no such thing as a perfect man. Your boyfriend has annoying faults. Before leaving for marriage, be aware of the things that bother or irritate you. Maybe it's something about the house (lots of mess) or lifestyle (spending a lot of time with friends). Know exactly what bothers you and don't think these things will magically disappear after the two of you are married. They are more likely to increase.

  • Accept that there must be a lot of disagreement between the couple. Be prepared to accept your future husband as he is, without feeling that you must change him.
  • Recognize that you also have flaws. At some point, they surface.
Choose the Right Man to Marry Step 15

Step 3. Watch for warning signs

If you fall in love with someone who already has a big problem, like addiction, put the feelings aside for a moment and analyze the situation rationally. Ask yourself if you're not avoiding or ignoring certain important things because you want to. Be realistic and understand that problems don't go away overnight: think about the consequences they can have.

Don't think the situation will improve. For example, if the man is violent or has an addiction, don't expect him to change just because of the marriage. Be careful


Popular by topic