4 Ways to Get Him to Take the Initiative

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4 Ways to Get Him to Take the Initiative
4 Ways to Get Him to Take the Initiative

Getting a man to take the initiative is tricky. Even though I like him a lot, there's no way to force him to do anything. You know you like the person, while they may also have feelings for each other. If you're shy or like to be romantic in the old-fashioned way, try the following subtle approach techniques to get the guy running after you, increasing your chance of getting an invitation from him on a date.


Method 1 of 4: Getting into the man's sights

Be Like a Female Rapper Step 1

Step 1. Plan "by chance" meetings

Think about what he likes and where he spends his free time. Without exaggerating, try to meet the man in a way that appears to be a complete coincidence. Show interest in what he likes and the boy may notice that you feel something.

  • If, for example, you know that he likes to practice sport climbing, go to the gym near his house that has this sport and at a time where the chance of being there is greater. If you like, say that this is the first time you will practice sport climbing (or any activity whatsoever) and if your “crush” can help you. This may even give you the opportunity to flirt and “force” casual physical contact.
  • Find out when he plans to study at the library, what subject he likes and “unintentionally” show up there at the same time and with the same study material.
Break Up with Your Boyfriend in High School Step 9

Step 2. Get closer to the boy's friends

Having mutual friends and being in his “social circle” increases the chance of spending time with each other. His friends will be the best way to “transmit” his positive qualities to the boy; he may even know you, but let your friends praise you and talk about the interests you share with your “prince” nearby.

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Step 3. Talk to the man

He may not have the initiative because he is shy or has difficulty talking to girls; whenever you are around your loved one, ensure that the focus of attention is on you and what you both have in common. Try a few approaches to breaking the ice.

  • "Can you teach me that trick with the cards you made at the party?"
  • "I'm thinking about going to the mall for something to eat. Don't you want to come with me and show you the best diner there?"
  • "Wow, you know a lot about computers. Can you teach me how to fix this problem?"
Be Kind to People Worldwide Step 6

Step 4. Interact with him more on social media (Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, for example)

Like his posts, retweet his messages, demonstrating that they have many things in common and that their interests are so similar that he may even consider you more than a friend.

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Step 5. Be nice to him when the boy is not having a good day

Help him to get to know her better and as someone who cares about him, being the "friendly shoulder" that man looks for when he needs someone to lift his spirits. Before long, you will be the person he thinks of to feel happy, leading to several moments where you will be alone with him.

  • Take the time to meet him. Sometimes you'll have to sacrifice some of your free time to meet the boy. It's critical to hear his problems.
  • Ask if there is a problem with a story. Offer to help them study or complete their homework together.

Method 2 of 4: Showing Him You're Interested

Have Millions of Boyfriends or Guys to Like You Step 4

Step 1. Flirt

Flirting makes him realize there is interest on your part; most importantly, flirting is also an invitation for the man to do something that will not be rejected. Help him realize that friendship can be something deeper; generally, flirting can be done through body language, posture, gestures, or verbalization.

  • If they are seated next to each other, flirt with their eyes. Look into his eyes, smile and maintain eye contact a little longer than usual.
  • Mimic his body movement. Come closer when he approaches, smile when the boy smiles.
  • Run your tongue over your lips. When you notice him looking at your lips, run your tongue over them without ceremony, but don't overdo it. You need to suggest, not be compulsive.
  • When you catch him looking at you, smile a little and look down. Look back at the boy, smiling provocatively.
  • Play with your hair. Both sexes run their hands through their hair when trying to impress someone.
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Step 2. Break the “touch barrier”

Show the suitor that you don't mind being touched with affection and that you won't withdraw or distance yourself from him. Allow the boy to touch you, without going overboard and without you being bothered.

  • Hug him back. If he comes to give you a hug, accept him and don't let go until the man steps away.
  • Run your hand through his hair. When you notice that there are one or two strands out of place, try to tidy them up.
  • Be discreet or he could be embarrassed.
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Step 3. Praise him

Find reasons to say things that make you happy or confident. Try some of the following options:

  • "Hook" your arm through his and say, "Look how small my arm is next to yours!"
  • Touch his hair and say, "Your hair looks so nice this way."
  • "I could stare into your clear eyes for hours!"

Method 3 of 4: Being More “Frost”

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Step 1. Demonstrate your intentions in an obvious way

Some men are shy or nervous about taking the initiative, while others don't even notice the signals emitted by the woman. Even the shy ones will open up when they know that a person has feelings for them.

  • Take his hand when they're walking next to each other.
  • Ask him for help, even if you don't need it. If it's something simple, the boy will quickly realize that you're just making up a reason to be together.
  • With him around, say “How would you like a boyfriend…”
  • Tell about a dream where you went out together.
  • Don't be too intimate before he takes the initiative. The aim is to insinuate interest, not show despair.
Keep Your Girlfriend Interested in You Step 13

Step 2. Ask the man direct questions

If you don't want to be the person who takes the initiative, you may need to “open your eyes” so that he knows you want him. Get him to respond so that the boy himself notices what his decision is.

  • "Do you think I'm pretty?"
  • "I'm a girl to marry, don't you think?"
  • "I think most men wanted to be lucky enough to date me, don't you agree?"
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Step 3. Comment on relationships and love in moderation

If you are trying to be more direct, be careful not to go over a limit; being aggressive or pushy can be intimidating and let you down.

  • Don't force him to talk about love. Men are often hesitant to talk about this subject.
  • Make witty comments saying what a great couple you would make.
  • Do not talk about marriage under any circumstances.
  • Never say “I love you” to someone who hasn't even taken the initiative. This sentence will not be well received.

Method 4 of 4: Determining If You Would Make a Good Couple

Befriend Shy Introvert Step 7

Step 1. Make sure you are compatible

Sit down with him at break time and spend time talking so the friendship can develop. The more time there is for the friendship to grow, the more you will learn about the boy.

  • Find out if both have similar values. Discovering that your beliefs and his are very different is an almost sure sign that a future relationship will not be very successful.
  • Find out if he's ever cheated on an ex-girlfriend. Ask how the previous relationship ended. Lack of trust is an accurate indication of problems in relating to people.
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Step 2. Be yourself

Show him your true personality; there is no point in sticking with someone if you need to change the way you behave. Don't pretend you like things you hate or you'll risk bringing it all down once you discover the truth.

  • Show him something you like, like your favorite book. Tell him why the work has so much meaning.
  • He will appreciate your honesty and that you are not afraid to be yourself.
  • Mention some hobbies and see if his reaction is positive.
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Step 3. Confirm that the attraction is mutual

Before encouraging him to take the initiative, make sure he has feelings; It is important to avoid disappointment on both sides whenever possible. Here are some signs that might help you see this:

  • If he smiles a lot or plays with you, the chance of feeling attraction from the boy is great.
  • However, upon realizing that he has distanced himself, the feelings are not reciprocated.
  • Constantly asking about you are signs that the attraction is mutual.
  • Did you get an invitation from the boy to go to a social event? The chance that he will be interested in you is huge.


  • Take it easy. Allow time for the man, for you, for the relationship and don't speed up the process.
  • Boys are shy when it comes to having initiative. For this reason, in many cases, it will be necessary to make your intentions clear to him without having the initiative.
  • If you flirt with him, but the boy reciprocates, it doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't have feelings.
  • First of all, make friends with the man. This helps a lot!


  • Don't rush things.
  • Don't get obsessed with the man. He might misinterpret you and think you're "chasing him."
  • When you suspect that he will ask you out, don't tell anyone! If it's a false alarm, you'll be embarrassed.
  • Don't act desperately. If you like the boy, don't make extreme decisions. Moderation is essential.

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