Maybe you're trying to figure out whether or not you're ready to come out on your sexuality, or maybe you want to show someone that you're interested in them romantically. If you're ready to hint that you're LGBT, give some verbal or visual cues. It's a good idea to prepare for several possible reactions.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Giving Verbal Indirects
Step 1. Talk about people you find attractive
If you want to show your sexual identity in an understated way, take a few casual hints in a conversation. Let's say you want to say you are a lesbian to your best friend. Say things like “Did you see that girl sitting next to me in biology class? Wow, those eyes were beautiful!”.
If you're bisexual, say "I don't know who I love more in La La Land: Emma Stone or Ryan Gosling!"
Step 2. Talk about dating
Try to find a way to bring up romantic relationships in casual conversation. You can do this with friends or family. For example, if you are trying to reveal your sexual orientation to your sister, bring up the subject of dating. Start by asking how her dating is going. If she's dating a man and you're gay, say “He's a nice guy. I would love to meet a man as funny as João.”
You can be less specific. For example, if you are bisexual, say something like “Smart is the most important thing to me in a relationship. I'm less interested in the genre”
Step 3. Give verbal hints if you are flirting
Sometimes people just assume you're heterosexual. For example, if you are a single woman in a nightclub, it would not be unusual for a man to approach you and offer you a drink. It's perfectly understandable if you don't want to talk about your sexual orientation with a stranger – just try to give a few verbal hints.
- You could say, “I'm being truthful when I say you're definitely not my type. It's nothing personal. I'm just pretty sure it's not my type.”
- Of course, if you are interested in the person, flirt with them too!
Step 4. Talk about LGBT celebrities
Pop culture is a great way to broach the subject naturally about your sexual identity. Comment on famous people you admire are LGBT. This is a good strategy to find out what your family thinks of LGBT people.
Try saying something like “I love how Ellen Degeneres empowers herself with her sexuality! Maybe someday I will be as comfortable and confident as she is.”
Method 2 of 3: Using Visual Indirects
Step 1. Wear clothing items with the rainbow
The rainbow is part of the flag that represents the LGBT community. It has historical symbolism and is commonly recognized. Try incorporating some colored items into your clothing to show your LGBT pride.
- Wear a scarf, shirt, or rainbow shoes.
- Another option is to wear colorful accessories such as hats or bracelets.
Step 2. Wear a shirt with a message
Shirts are great ways to get in the way. You can wear one to support the movement or perhaps to celebrate your pride. You are the one who decides whether you want to tell people about your sexual orientation. If someone asks you about the shirt, this is a great way to start a positive conversation!
Popular shirts say messages like “Love is Love” or “Love is not a disease, it's a cure”
Step 3. Change your cell phone wallpaper for a photo with your boyfriend
Since everyone is always looking at their cell phone, others will probably notice the wallpaper when you touch yours. Maybe you're trying to find a way to tell your parents that you're dating someone of the same sex. Try putting a picture of yourself with your most exposed partner on your cell phone.
Choose a photo that looks like you're more than just friends, like looking at each other or hugging each other romantically
Step 4. Use bolder body language with someone you're attracted to
Maybe you just don't know how to show your romantic interest in someone else. For example, if you are gay but have never dated a man before, try flirting without saying anything specific about your sexual orientation.
- Make eye contact and hold for several seconds.
- Add some casual touches. For example, touch his hand when telling a joke.
- Stay very close to him when they're talking.
- Use disinterested body language if you want to politely reject someone. Look sideways if he tries to make eye contact and turn your body if he walks towards you.
Step 5. Get involved in LGBT organizations
There are several ways to support this community. Find a way to actively support it by volunteering at events such as an LGBT pride parade or distributing informational materials at a festival. People may ask why you are involved, and you decide how to respond.
Method 3 of 3: Accepting Different Reactions
Step 1. Accept that some relationships can change
Before giving hints, be aware that disclosure can change some things. If someone realizes you're LGBT, the situation can get weird. Sometimes friendships change. However, some relationships change for the better.
- For example, perhaps the person you are interested in realizes that the two of you can work as a couple.
- Some relationships can get a little strained and it can take a while to get back to normal.
Step 2. Make a plan to reveal yourself to your parents
Before taking hints, be prepared to have an honest conversation with them if they ask what all this means. They are expected to support you immediately. However, chances are they will show surprise, sadness or even anger at having an LGBT child.
- Your parents will probably have a lot of questions. Prepare some resources for them, like a trusted support site.
- Have a plan B just in case. If you think they might react negatively, have somewhere to go. Ask a friend if you can stay at his house for a few days.
Step 3. Find support
If you're worried about someone's reaction, it's a good idea to have someone to turn to. If you have already shared your sexual orientation with a friend or relative, let them know that you may need extra support in the future. Another option is to receive support from the LGBT community center in your area.
Step 4. Be patient as people process feelings
Sometimes they just need time to process the information and how they feel about it. Some may react but don't know what to say. There's no problem with that. Give them space and time to digest and process what they've heard. Understand that people will not always respond well to knowing your sexual orientation.
It's normal for people to change their initial reaction after they've completely processed the news. For example, maybe your friend initially drifts away. It can return to normal after a few days or weeks
Tips
- Giving hints, while a useful part of the process, can be confusing for people if it takes a long time. Get ready to come out soon and be very clear!
- Tell a close friend. If you feel like coming out, start by telling someone who will understand, such as your best friend, a doctor, or a teacher.