It's natural to want to spend your whole life with the person you're in love with, but waiting for the marriage proposal can be excruciating. If you want to get married, you must have two priorities: building a relationship healthy and strong enough to last a lifetime, and always doing your best, which will do both you and your partner good. Finally, try to insinuate to him that you have been thinking about marriage.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Building a Healthy Relationship
Step 1. Look for someone whose personal values are compatible with yours
Values govern aspects such as family life, finances, faith and interpersonal relationships. When they are shared by a couple, it is easier to make decisions and build a life together.
- A relationship between people of different values is not unfeasible, but it requires more concessions and effort on the part of both, which, over time, leads to conflicts.
- For example, if one party wants to take their children to church and the other rejects any organized religion, this could become the reason for a fight in the future.
Step 2. Get to know, without haste, his views on marriage
Marriage is a big life change, and the anticipation with which you look forward to it is not necessarily the same as your boyfriend's. As you get to know him better, ask him questions that will help reveal what he thinks about the idea of getting married. If he's not ready for marriage, you can hardly change his mind.
- If he discusses past relationships openly, listen for signs that he is afraid of commitment. People who have already suffered disappointments in love may need more time to open their hearts and cherish the idea of marriage.
- Or he may express opinions such as "getting married is nothing more than signing a sheet of paper," also suggestive of an aversion to marriage.
Step 3. be sincere together.
Without completely trusting you, a man will hardly think of you as his wife. Likewise, it is important that you have a partner you can trust. Mutual trust is gained only through sincerity: don't lie to him and don't tolerate dishonesty on his part.
If you feel the need to hide certain things from your boyfriend, like having lunch with a friend, ask yourself why you feel this way: is it because your friend has a crush on you, and your boyfriend's jealousy is well founded? In that case, it would be better to avoid being alone with him than to lie. Or is it because your boyfriend is controlling and trying to isolate you from your old friends? This could indicate that you are in an abusive relationship
Step 4. In fights, acknowledge your share of guilt
Misunderstandings happen even in the best relationships. When you have a fight, apologize for what you said or did to help make it happen. In this way, you exercise the ability to overcome crises together, allaying any fears about marriage.
- During an argument, express how you feel without resorting to name-calling or getting incensed, and cover the same with your boyfriend.
- Don't let yourself be convinced that you are entirely to blame for the fights - often, disagreements are the result of your mistakes.
Step 5. Learn to praise and reassure him
Your partner will be more likely to pick up toothbrushes if they feel you are a positive presence in their life. Remind him often that you love him and what he means to you, and don't be afraid to praise his good attributes.
- "I admire the way you work at work" or "I love your smile!" are some of the compliments you could do.
- If he's apprehensive about an upcoming job interview, comfort him: "You're a smart man and more than ready for the job." "If you're not the one, so much the worse for them!"
Step 6. support him in difficult times.
In a healthy marriage, the parties encourage each other, work out problems together, and support each other through difficult times. Your boyfriend will naturally want to spend his life with someone he knows he can trust.
- And that support doesn't need to be expressed in words: instead of trying to talk when he's grieving for a loved one or in a similar situation, stay silent by his side and hold his hand - when he's ready, he'll open up with you.
- If he's been nervous about work, prepare a special meal or invite him to a relaxing dinner.
Step 7. Watch for any warning signs, which can be very difficult to recognize when you're in love
If he grabs you, pushes you, or yells during fights, there's no guarantee that he won't do worse in the future.
His trying to alienate you from your family and friends, humiliating or belittling you, blaming you for his actions, or insisting on controlling your finances are other troubling behaviors
Reminder:
if you think you have become involved with an abusive man, seek out relatives, friends or a support group and ask them to help you end the relationship safely.
Method 2 of 3: Loving yourself
Step 1. Pursue his interests and encourage him to do the same
Being in a healthy relationship is having full freedom to cultivate friendships and self-interest, which not only brings trust and fulfillment, but also strengthens the relationship even more. Time apart, moreover, makes nostalgia tighten and can yield topics to talk about when you are together.
- While your boyfriend watches a football match with friends on a Sunday afternoon, take the opportunity to go cycling with your best friend.
- And, of course: don't fail to enjoy your common interests together! Just don't forget that it's okay to do some things on your own.
Step 2. Practice self-care
Whenever you have the opportunity, take care of yourself: it will make you happier and more relaxed, and your boyfriend will love knowing you are with a woman responsible for her own well-being. Don't just do this to hook the guy, but also to reap the benefits of taking care of yourself.
Self-care can be a practice, such as relaxing in the bathtub while you deeply hydrate your hair, but it can also be anything that improves your emotional, spiritual, or mental life: doing yoga or meditation, taking a long walk outdoors, or writing a journal
Step 3. Tell yourself encouraging phrases in times of low self-confidence
Everyone faces insecurity at some point in their lives. Prepare for this by writing a list of the best things you have. When you feel insecure, look in the mirror and say these qualities out loud.
- Your mantra might be, "I'm a great friend and I do everything in my power to lift the spirits of those around me. I deserve to be loved."
- If the reason for your insecurity is that you still haven't received an engagement proposal, remember the good things your partner has already done for you: "Júlio drove two hours to see me the day I failed the final exam in Economics. Even though we're not engaged, I know he loves me."
Step 4. Seek financial independence
Being able to help your family and still have control over your financial life will increase your self-esteem. Look for a career that matches your personality, talents and interests. In professional life, be dedicated and respectful of your superiors, which will help you to soar higher and higher.
Financial issues, even, may be the reason he has not yet asked for your hand. The fact that you have a source of income may allay these concerns
Step 5. Work out regularly to stay healthy and stress free.
20~30 minutes of physical activity daily helps relieve nervousness. Do a brisk run every afternoon so you don't lag behind in aerobic exercise. You can also do yoga, swimming, softball, strength training exercises, or simply exercise on your own at home with the help of videos.
- In addition to relieving stress, exercise improves strength and fitness - which can make a huge contribution to self-esteem.
- Preoccupation with form, as well as the fact that you feel more content with your body, will make you attractive in your boyfriend's eyes, and he will be more likely to make the request.
Tip:
doing physical activities together can be a great way to bond with your boyfriend!
Method 3 of 3: Expressing Your Intention to Get Married
Step 1. Discuss your future together
If you want to gauge a man's interest in marriage, talk about your plans for the future - for example, where you would like to live, whether or not you want to have children, what kind of career you plan on pursuing - and, like someone who wants nothing., add it to them to see how it reacts.
- "I'd love for the two of us to take a trip across Europe one day," she tells him, and it's possible that his reaction allows her to estimate whether he shares those dreams.
- He says "I would love to too!" indicates a similarity between your plans, while a less compromising answer - "Yeah, maybe…" - may be due to a mismatch between them.
Step 2. Live with happily married people
Seeing that happiness after marriage is possible could be the little push he needed to want the same for himself. If any of you have friends who enjoy a happy and robust marriage, try to hang out with them whenever possible.
- Invite them to couples programs: a barbecue, going to the movies or restaurants, or perhaps a trip together.
- Going to wedding ceremonies with him may also help him to consider the idea more fondly.
Step 3. To be more explicit, show him engagement rings you liked
Talk about the wedding rings you see in magazines and catalogs, and your interest in taking the walk to the altar will be undeniable. Start flipping through the magazines when he's around and act as if you've stumbled across the rings at random.
- In addition to fulfilling your main objective (to make you aware of your desire to get married), this spells out your tastes to your boyfriend, who might imagine you would want a traditional wedding ring with a huge diamond, when, in fact, he prefers styles Modern and exotic gems.
- Avoid talking about over-budget rings: if he thinks your lifestyle is too expensive for him, he might even consider buying an engagement ring.
- If you don't want an alliance, just talk about your desire to get engaged.
Tip:
alluding to engagement rings is no crime, but if your boyfriend hasn't yet been willing to make the proposal, don't bombard him with references to the subject so as not to put pressure on him.
Step 4. ask him to marry you if you think that's what he wants, but doesn't have the courage to say it.
Don't be afraid to take the reins! If you want a more serious commitment, don't wait for a proposal from your boyfriend any longer than necessary. It's up to you to kneel down to make the request or use a not-so-dramatic approach - but be clear about your intentions.