You might get nervous at the thought of approaching an otaku girl with romantic intentions, regardless of whether you're an otaku guy or not. Dating a girl who falls into this category is no more difficult than dating anyone else. All you have to do is find someone and attract her interests enough for her to notice you.
Part 1 of 3: Getting to Know the Otaku Girl
Step 1. Leave stereotypes behind
The problem with any label is that it tends to reduce people to nothing more than stereotypes. Before approaching an otaku girl, remember that she is an individual person, with her own quirks, beliefs, and personality. Some of its features may scream "otaku" right away, but many won't.
The same can be said about impressing her once you've met her and started dating. There is no single set of steps that can be used on every girl who falls under the "otaku" label - including those listed in this article. Use the label as a starting point, but always customize your approach based on the specific girl
Step 2. Log on
Otaku girls can be found online in chat rooms, forums, and on various social networks. In addition, they are often comfortable interacting in the digital world and can enjoy an online meeting as well as an offline one.
- Browse forums related to anime, manga or other aspects of otaku culture. Join active groups on Facebook or another social network about these topics, as well as the discussions that take place, as much as possible.
- When you find an interesting girl, start following her on her blog or one or two social networking sites. Don't follow all of your accounts at once, as doing so can push the envelope and scare you.
Step 3. Venture into the real world
Not every otaku girl is glued to her computer monitor, of course. The vast majority live in the real world, and if you want a more traditional date, your best bet is to locate the otaku girl in her habitat. In other words, go somewhere related to her interests, as she's likely to visit them in her spare time.
For example, try going to a store that has a wide selection of anime or manga. Spend time at an arcade. Watch a movie that has a big female fandom or, if you want to be bold, try going to an anime convention
Step 4. Approach it with a good introductory phrase
Once you find a girl that piques your interest, you need to make a good first impression. However, you don't necessarily need an exaggerated pickup line. Starting an interesting conversation can be more than enough.
Discussions about shows, movies, and related media tend to be a good starting point, especially if you see the girl looking at a similar series in a store. If you don't know enough about her interests, you can even start the conversation by confessing your lack of knowledge and asking her to make a recommendation
Part 2 of 3: Making the otaku gatora fall in love with you
Step 1. Know your passions
In Brazil, the term "otaku" is generally reserved for people who are unconditional fans of anime or manga, but in Japan, "otaku" basically defines who is an unconditional fan of any hobby. Even though the otaku girl in your life is a huge anime fan, it helps to know which series and genres she's most interested in.
- The Japanese concept of "otaku" is similar to the Brazilian idea of a fangirl (or fanboy), geek or nerd. A person can be an anime or game otaku, but it is also possible to be a train otaku, for example. Anyone who obsessively loves something can be labeled an otaku.
- The Brazilian concept of "otaku" tends to be someone who is obsessed with some part of Japanese pop culture or Asian pop culture in general. Anime, manga and computer games are the most notable obsessions, but an otaku can also be obsessed with J-Pop music, K-Pop or Japanese and Korean dramas.
Step 2. Do your research
Simply knowing the title of her favorite series isn't enough. If you really want to impress your otaku girl, you should do a little research on her favorites to see what they all are. You don't have to love everything she loves, but you should have enough basic understanding to follow up on her complaints when she starts talking about one of your passions.
Another advantage to your research is that you'll learn more about the kinds of things she loves, rather than just knowing a few examples. Most otaku girls abandon their original obsessions and end up focusing on the things they relate to best. If you learn enough about what interests her, you might eventually be able to introduce her to something else she likes, which will definitely leave her feeling impressed with you
Step 3. Impress her by recognizing these interests
Take her to places that suit her passions. Give her gifts that relate to the things she loves. Otaku girls like romance, but common approaches aren't striking and don't touch them deeply.
- Keep in mind that your gifts don't have to be expensive to make an impression. As a general rule, otaku girls tend to appreciate both low-cost merchandise related to their favorite series and characters as well as expensive ones. Something as simple as a Totoro plush toy might be enough to delight a girl who loves Ghibli Studio characters.
- If traditional romance is your style, that's fine, but try to add hints of her tastes to everything you do. Take her to dinner and a movie, but choose an anime movie (for an anime otaku). Likewise, you can buy jewelry, but look for ones linked to one of your favorite franchises.
Step 4. Never look down on her or expect her to change
Some otaku girls may be a little ashamed of their interests, but most have no problem with that. Either way, you need to show her that you're not ashamed for them. Blaming her for loving the things she loves is a quick way to get her to walk away from you.
Many of the otaku girls don't even appreciate the fact that their interests are somewhat obscure. After all, a dark interest is unique, and people generally like to feel unique
Step 5. Praise her
An otaku girl is still a girl after all. You will need to pamper her with occasional flattery. Praise sincerely and try to be a little creative. As with the rest, a compliment that is directed at her as a unique individual is better than something stereotyped.
- Like most women, she will sometimes want to be complimented on her looks. Instead of saying something general - "You're very beautiful" - praise something specific, like a certain characteristic - "I love the color of your eyes" - or a specific accessory - "Your glasses perfectly mold your beautiful eyes".
- You should also compliment her personality as well as her appearance. Comment on her intelligence, joy, generosity or any other positive traits.
Step 6. Notice your other qualities
More specifically, know what kinds of things bother you. The otaku girl, in general, is a very passionate person. Most of her passion is directed towards the things she loves, but the girl can be equally passionate about the things she hates. Once you know what she hates, do your best to avoid it.
For example, if she's picky about grammar and spelling, it's best not to send SMSs like "What's up??? see you later!!". Instead, spend some time checking the message for any errors
Step 7. Don't drag her too far out of her comfort zone
While some otaku girls can be quite outgoing, most tend to be a little introverted. She may not be "shy" per se, but she may not enjoy large crowds or similar contexts as much as you do. Relationships require both parties to make a commitment. If you want to make her like you, know when to go out with her and when to leave her alone.
For outgoing girls, also keep in mind that some tweaking can still make you uncomfortable. She may enjoy socializing with a close group of friends, but that doesn't necessarily mean she'll enjoy going to a nightclub full of strangers
Part 3 of 3: Making the Relationship Last
Step 1. Give him space for his hobbies
There are times when the otaku girl may want to enjoy her hobbies alone or with friends who enjoy them as vigorously as she does. Let her do it. Wanting her company while the girl does what she likes is a good thing, but pushing the envelope will only make you unhappy.
- When she's out enjoying the things she loves, spend time enjoying her own interests. Visit friends, spend time alone or attend an event that you know your otaku girlfriend would never enjoy.
- If you always feel the need to be constantly connected to her, ask yourself why. You may be feeling neglected or jealous. Find out what the problem is and talk to her before it erodes the foundations of your relationship.
Step 2. Make an exchange
When trying to impress the otaku girl, you can focus on activities that strictly appeal to her interests. Once you get into a more serious relationship, however, you will need to find a balance between the two. One of the best ways to do this is to trade. In exchange for doing something she loves now, you two will do something you enjoy next time.
- When you spend your time doing something she loves, try to be genuinely interested in it. If she wants you to watch her favorite movie, pay attention to her instead of looking at her cell phone. If she drags you to a convention, try to find something there that interests her too.
- You can also let her instruct you about her hobbies. For example, if she comes to love a certain game, let her teach you the best way to play it.
Step 3. Trust her
Some of your otaku girlfriend's friends who share common interests may be guys, but normally you won't need to worry about her turning your romantic attentions to them since the two of you are already in a relationship. Remember that the otaku girl is extremely passionate about the things she loves. If she loves you, she probably won't leave you so easily.
When you show that you trust her, you can also make it easier for her to trust you. By demonstrating that you are dedicated and secure about your relationship, you will show that she has no reason to doubt your affections
Step 4. Lower the guard
As things get more serious between you, you will need to demonstrate that you are comfortable around her. Since many otaku girls have introverted personalities, they will find it overwhelming if they feel they need to always behave in a specific way around you. Get comfortable around her so that she gets comfortable too.
You should let your guard down in moderation, however. You don't have to show up at her door in a polo shirt and khaki pants, but on the other hand, you don't have to wear the same stained shirt for four days in a row, either. Be casual, but take care of your appearance and display respectful behavior
Step 5. Be more than a boyfriend
Despite her love for two-dimensional characters, you need to go deeper than that. Instead of being the "perfect conqueror", you need to be her friend. Become someone she can turn to for recognition and comfort if you want the relationship to last.