As we spend a lot of time working, it is normal and natural to develop feelings for a coworker. If you want to flirt and perhaps develop a relationship with a co-worker, be sure to keep things light and be careful that the relationship doesn't end badly, or your work environment will not look good.
Part 1 of 3: Keeping things friendly
Step 1. Smile
A smile and good manners are simple things, but they help to show your affection for the person. Work environments already have a professional atmosphere; lighten things up a bit to stand out from the girl's other coworkers.
Jokes and smiles are appropriate forms of flirting that don't cross professional boundaries. If she smiles back, you know you're on the right track. If she doesn't respond very well to the joke or the smile, walk away
Step 2. Break the ice through work
Add a joke - light and non-intrusive - to a memo or send her a funny message during office hours. Make a silly joke about the meeting you had earlier. Play a little!
The relationship will start well underway as you already have something in common: work. Use the professional environment as a way to start a conversation, but avoid gossip and complaints. In the beginning, it's always good to leave a positive impression. Avoid inappropriate jokes and keep the relationship light and friendly
Step 3. Offer your help with professional projects
If the girl gets a big project or has to work overtime to finish something, offer to stay with her and help. Ask if you can do anything to help her; in addition to making it clear that she is a good person, you will be interested in spending more time with her.
If she doesn't attend a meeting or misses work right on the day of training to use new equipment or something, send her a message. In addition to helping her, you will show your interest in her. Say something like "I realized I wasn't on the day they installed the new computers, so I made some notes during the meeting to keep you up to date." A bonus: she will know you notice her absence
Step 4. Bring her something to eat
When it comes to giving a gift, you don't have to limit yourself to flowers! If you want to be more discreet, when going out to buy something to eat, remember her and take something more as a "gift". That way, you'll have an excuse to approach her and talk about something other than work.
The next time you take a break from work to buy a coffee, ask her if she wants it too. In that case, she will likely place a specific request. From now on, you already know her preferences. You will remain professional while doing something nice for her
Step 5. Limit physical gestures
Public displays of affection in the workplace can make people uncomfortable. In some cases, depending on company policies, you may get a warning from a supervisor. Also be careful not to inappropriately touch the girl, or she may feel uncomfortable and pull away.
- Even during flirting, be professional. No need to touch it! Eye contact and smiles are just as effective as touching, but are less likely to be interpreted as inappropriate. Praise her work ethic or recent projects!
- As a precaution, conversations between you should be light. Do not make sexual comments or say anything that might offend her. In addition to driving her away, you could be reprimanded or accused of sexual harassment.
Part 2 of 3: Flirting outside of work
Step 1. Call her out after hours
Start with a happy hour, with more people from the company, so she doesn't think it's a date right away. So the situation doesn't get more serious than it is before its time. After a few outings with the people at work, suggest a trip for two!
Be casual about asking her out on a private date. Make it look like you were already doing something and simply decided to ask her to join you. That way, the invitation will feel less intimidating and less like a date. Say something like "I was thinking about going to a nice bar after work, want to come with me?"
Step 2. Find something you have in common besides work
When relating to a co-worker, you run the risk of talking about your job all the time. Stop and ask about things she likes to do during her leisure time. In addition to making it clear that you are interested in her beyond work, you will get to know her better as a person.
If you work in a place with offices, desks or cubicles, take a look at her stuff at a glance. A person's desk can hint at their interests. Use what you find to start a conversation
Step 3. Ask her to have lunch with you
One way to get some time alone with her is lunch. Ask her to go to a restaurant with you or just sit next to her in the cafeteria at work.
Lunch is an excellent opportunity to talk and get to know the girl better. If possible, take her to eat somewhere away from other co-workers to avoid prying eyes. That way, your conversation will be more casual and comfortable
Step 4. Be careful not to overdo it
Even if the girl takes the first step in flirting, be careful. Stick to light, friendly, and work-appropriate gestures, even if she touches or hugs you, and avoid complaints and reports of harassment.
Dating and flirting at work is tricky when you're not careful. Don't overdo your actions and always interpret the girl's body language to see if you're pleasing her
Part 3 of 3: Thinking Risks Better
Step 1. Know the work policies on relationships in the company
Some companies have very clear rules that prohibit fraternization among co-workers. Consequences can include being fired, so be aware of the rules before trying to seduce a girl on the job.
Some policies only prohibit relationships between co-workers at different professional levels. For example, a supervisor may be prohibited from dating a subordinate. In some companies, there is no policy prohibiting office romances
Step 2. Don't try to chase more than one girl at the same time
In addition to being rude, you can get in trouble if they find out what you've been up to. If you want to flirt with a co-worker, limit yourself to her! Don't go out playing pickup lines and looking around the office.
News flies in the workplace. Be careful that your colleagues don't say bad things about you, or your image could be burned. Service will no longer be such a nice place for you
Step 3. Avoid flirting with people in higher or lower positions
Such relationships often cause friction in the work environment, as other employees may feel that there is some kind of favoritism going on. It's important that the colleague you want to flirt with is at the same professional level as you in the company.
Women are even more subject to criticism when dating a co-worker. Be careful not to put the girl in a situation where she will be judged negatively
Step 4. Remember that she may not want you to flirt
If she reacts negatively to comments or invitations, get the message and don't insist. If you don't stop, she could report you to your boss for harassment.
- If she doesn't respond to flirting or makes it clear that she wants you to stop, don't insist! If the girl feels harassed or threatened, she can press charges against you.
- If she seems uncomfortable while flirting in the workplace, leave it to the conversation after hours. Apologize and explain, as it is possible that her discomfort is only related to work. Watch her body language and walk away if she doesn't seem receptive.
Step 5. Remember that a failed relationship at work can completely damage the environment
If things don't work out with a co-worker, the situation between you at the office will be uncomfortable, either because of the gossip of colleagues or the treatment you will receive from the girl.
Think through the strengths and weaknesses of professional romances before taking action. If the possibility of things getting bad is greater than the positive points of winning the girl, the ideal is to look for someone outside of work
Give it time and take it easy. You will see her again
- don't force her to do anything. If the girl makes it clear that she has no interest, stop. If she just wants to be your friend, accept and respect her decision.
- Stand back if you feel the girl is uncomfortable in your presence.