Do you want your loved one to spend more time with you? The relationship can be damaged if your boyfriend is busy with work, school, or other commitments; especially if you call or visit at inopportune times-but the couple's conflicting schedules don't have to be the end of this love story. Talk about your schedule, don't be too clingy, and look for ways to keep yourself busy too - that way, you'll be able to keep the relationship going without upsetting your boyfriend.
Method 1 of 3: Fitting His Schedule
Step 1. Talk about your boyfriend's schedule
Find out when he has free time, and when he needs to be alone so he can work on his chores - learn what his working hours are, how many hours he spends at school, and when he plays sports or engages in any other hobby.
- Try scheduling daily phone calls or text messages. Everyone can take time to keep in touch with the people they love, so if your boyfriend doesn't, it could be a sign of disinterest.
- You could copy your loved one's schedule so you don't forget them, or if they use an online tool like Google Calendar, you could ask for access to view it.
Step 2. Talk to him to determine when to call or visit him
Don't make assumptions about the best time to call or visit - instead, talk about it in advance to make sure you know what you're doing. Ask him when he prefers to talk on the phone, and find out if he has any free time during the day for you to visit.
Maybe he has time to have lunch with you once a week, or maybe he can always talk on the phone at 4:00 when he gets back from class
Step 3. Discover creative ways to spend time together
If your boyfriend is too busy for long weekly dates, look for other reasons to spend time with him - you could help him with the garden or join him at the gym, for example.
You could also participate in activities that already take up his time - if your boyfriend takes a cooking course on Mondays, ask if he can also join the classes
Step 4. Make the most of visits and phone calls
If you can't see the person often, focus on having fun and memorable conversations and encounters whenever you're with them - plan ahead, even if it just means renting a movie and cooking a special dinner. If you're afraid of forgetting to share certain news, write it all down on paper so that you have several things to catch up on at the next meeting.
Method 2 of 3: Avoiding Being Sticky
Step 1. Resist the temptation to call too many times
Don't call or text when your boyfriend is busy, even if you miss him - you'll seem too needy and annoy him if you interrupt him too often, so stick to the times when you've both agreed to talk and spend time together.
- Don't be the one who starts all the conversations - every now and then give your boyfriend a chance to be the first to call too.
- When you're dying to call or text, but you know it's not the right time, go out and leave your cell phone at home, or turn it off.
Step 2. Limit social media contact
If you're really busy, your loved one won't have time to watch the video of that cute baby you were branded with, nor will they be able to consult the list of bands that will play at the next festival - ask them what they like to receive on social media and stick to such preferences. Your boyfriend may lose focus on work or studies if he receives too many messages on Facebook and Instagram.
Step 3. Don't assume something is wrong if you don't hear from it
There are a number of reasons why someone might not answer a text message or return a phone call - perhaps they have forgotten their cell phone in silent mode after class, or perhaps they are having an unforeseen situation at work. So don't panic and assume that the person is being passive-aggressive; it is likely that everything is fine!
- Whatever you do, never text or phone a ton thousands of times - your boyfriend will get in touch as soon as he can, so find another way to be distracted in the meantime.
- However, if you don't receive an answer in a week, you should probably contact him to make sure everything is OK.
Step 4. Respect the person's free time
Be carefree and flexible, and don't try to monopolize your boyfriend's leisure time - family and other friends are important too, and from time to time he will need to spend time with them. Also, he may need some time alone to recharge his batteries.
Step 5. Find out if you two are really compatible
If your loved one never seems to have time for dating, maybe it's time to determine if this is the relationship you've been looking for - some partners just aren't meant for each other, and you might prefer to date someone who is more available, unlike her current boyfriend, who is busy.
- Talk to him about your needs before making a decision, saying something like, "I really want to spend more time with you on the weekends, but your schedule is busy and this lack of time is bothering me. Will things always be like this?".
- You can give the relationship another chance if your boyfriend is willing to make changes in his routine, allowing more time for the relationship.
- Also, be aware of other signs of incompatibility, such as contrasting values and beliefs.
Step 6. Reassess the relationship
If you suspect that your boyfriend's busy schedule is just an excuse to get away, chances are he's not the right person for you. Some people are married to jobs or personal goals, and unless you have a similar mindset, you will end up feeling neglected and undervalued in this relationship.
Also, some people avoid their partners because they don't know how to end the relationship, but don't prolong the situation if you have this suspicion - be the most mature person in the relationship and put an end to dating
Method 3 of 3: Keeping busy
Step 1. Focus on your responsibilities
Your boyfriend has responsibilities, and there's nothing to stop you from doing so, so keep busy with your chores-if you feel like you don't have a lot to do, set new goals, or focus on an area of life that needs improvement.
You could work harder at work or school, spend more time with family, or pay more attention to household chores
Step 2. Adopt new hobbies
Dating shouldn't be the only source of fun in your life, so fill the time with fun activities, and look for new hobbies if you don't have many. In addition to making her happier, a life outside the relationship will make her someone more attractive and interesting.
- For example, you could go to the gym, learn a new language, write a novel, or practice some craft.
- Join Meetup - this platform connects people from the same city who want to try new activities.
Step 3. Spend time with people who distract you from the relationship
Make time to see friends regularly, and don't just talk about your boyfriend when you're with them - do things related to your common interests, like seeing shows, shopping, or going to the movies. Also, try to spend less time with friends who are very needy in their own relationships, as this behavior may influence you.
Step 4. Respect your time
Your plans, goals and friendships are just as important as your boyfriend's, so don't throw it all away when he wants to see you - respect his time and demand that he respect yours.