How to Win an Older Man: 15 Steps

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How to Win an Older Man: 15 Steps
How to Win an Older Man: 15 Steps

Dating an older guy can be a cool challenge, as long as you're already of age. As much as the older man is more mature than the guys his age, it's important to understand that the two of you will have very different life experiences and may not see the world through the same eyes. It takes patience and effort to make the relationship work, but the fruits that will reap will be worth it. However, avoid men who only date younger girls or who try to date you if you are still underage, as they are likely not interested in serious, lasting relationships. Come on?


Part 1 of 3: Attracting an Older Guy

Date an Elder Guy Step 1

Step 1. Go to where the older guys hang out

Mature men don't always like the same places as younger men. They're probably past partying age and don't hang out in crowded bars with loud music. These guys tend to prefer simpler and more sophisticated environments and can be found at:

  • Upscale bars and restaurants.
  • Golf courses.
  • Coffee shops.
  • Book launches.
  • Art galleries.
  • Friends' commitment. Go as an escort to a corporate event or the wedding of a friend's family member. You will certainly find older men in these environments and will even help your friend not die of boredom.
Date an Elder Guy Step 2

Step 2. Use the internet, after all, older guys are also online

Install a dating app and customize your age preferences. You will find the men you are looking for and they will also be able to find you and start a conversation. The most common option for applications is Tinder, but there are also some lesser known ones like Happn and POF.

There are also websites and apps aimed at bringing together people young and old, but be careful and check the terms of service, as some are geared towards relationships focused on money and status, not love

Date an Elder Guy Step 3

Step 3. Inform yourself

As we age, it is natural to pay more attention to current world events. So if you want to have a chat with an older guy, it's a good idea to watch the news and read newspapers so you can form an informed opinion about everything you read. Read lots of references and look for the original sources to not be easily manipulated. Older men of good character will look for a partner with whom they can have good conversations.

  • Don't just read about presidential elections. It's good to be informed about all political spheres and understand both sides of the coin.
  • Understand a little sports. It's nice to enjoy a game without the guy having to explain the rules to you.
  • Read about the economy. Keep an eye on the stock market and understand what factors affect the economy.
  • Attend protests, fundraisers and volunteer for important causes.
Date an Elder Guy Step 4

Step 4. Show off your personality

Older guys usually look for partners who are trustworthy and sincere. Let the guy see who you really are, they don't want a fake person. Age has probably given them enough experience to know when women are being fake, so don't even try to fool them.

Be honest about your interests, even if you think they won't suit the guy. You'd be surprised how many older guys like things like cartoons and comics

Date an Elder Guy Step 5

Step 5. Be ambitious and invest in yourself

At work, look for promotions, awards and more responsibility. If you are studying, keep good grades and try to go deeper and deeper into your education. An older party won't be intimidated by his success, unlike younger guys: he's past his stage in life and is unlikely to feel threatened by his position.

  • If you've got a good job or your studies are well defined, people won't think you're looking for an older man for his money.
  • Invest in your own life to avoid the pressure of financial support being too great on your relationship. You'll be happier if you're dating the guy because you like him, not because you don't have other options.
Date an Elder Guy Step 6

Step 6. Be direct

Older men aren't very fond of games, so let your actions really reflect your feelings. Don't play hard to get, as the guy probably already has a steady career and kids, and he'll hardly have time for that.

  • Be honest about your feelings and don't leave anything hanging.
  • If you say you'll call, call. Don't be playing games waiting for the guy to call.
  • Don't be afraid to ask the guy out. Older men like this kind of attitude, unlike younger men, who are intimidated by it.

Part 2 of 3: Maintaining a Healthy Relationship

Date an Elder Guy Step 7

Step 1. Say what you expect

The first thing to do is find out what you two want in your relationship. The relationship may not work if you want to have children, but he already has and doesn't plan on having new ones. The two of you may also have completely different views on the seriousness of dating. Do you want to marry? If he's divorced, maybe he wants something casual and not a wedding, for example.

  • After a few dates, talk about where you hope to go in the relationship.
  • Consciously assess whether your needs match his.
Date an Elder Guy Step 8

Step 2. Keep your individuality

Remember that personal space is healthy within a relationship, so don't lose your independence. It's important to spend time away from the guy and encourage him to do the same. Sticking with your boyfriend all the time can end up driving you away.

  • Maybe he doesn't have anything in common with your friends, but you also need to spend time with people your own age.
  • Maybe you don't like doing the same things. Don't give up your activities for his.
Date an Elder Guy Step 9

Step 3. Make your needs known

Understand: Older men may have responsibilities that prevent a change of residence. Maybe he can't keep up with her on a change of state to follow her dreams. If this is something you expect from a partner, make it clear. Understand that perhaps he is already settled in life and does not have the willingness to change that a younger boy would have, for several reasons:

  • He might want to be around the kids.
  • He may have a good career he doesn't want to give up.
  • He might like to live where he does.
Date an Elder Guy Step 10

Step 4. Talk frankly about the financial side

An older man probably has his finances in order, and while it's nice to have a financially stable partner, this situation can be uncomfortable if you don't have the money for anything.

Make it clear what you accept or not. If you don't like him paying for all your dinners, tell the guy that so they can choose options that fit your pocket

Date an Elder Guy Step 11

Step 5. Take it easy

It may take a while for him to feel comfortable adding you to his social circles. Don't try to impose yourself too quickly, as your partner needs to make sure they can introduce you to family and friends. If he has a reputation to uphold, he doesn't want to be seen as casually dating younger girls.

  • When you're ready to meet his family, let him know. Still, make it clear that he decides when to make introductions.
  • If he has kids, understand his fear of introducing you right away. It's not healthy for children to get attached to new people they might lose after a while. Even if you believe your relationship is on the right track, you may still need to get to know the little ones for a while.
  • It may take him a while to admit how he feels about you. Hopefully, your stallion won't react to fleeting emotions, but he'll take a moment to assess how he feels before declaring himself.
Date an Elder Guy Step 12

Step 6. Remind him you want him

Everyone is afraid of getting old, and for men, the idea of ​​losing their virility is a scary thing. Even if you don't show it, the guy is probably scared of your attraction to him breaking up. Make it clear that he is still a stallion and try not to remind him of his age. Praise the look, strength, and other attributes that make him feel young and useful. Say things like:

  • "Your arms are so strong. I feel safe in your embrace."
  • "You look so cute today. I love your style."
  • You can comment on his age, but it's important to know if he doesn't mind. Some guys don't care about the jokes, but they don't like to be called "old man", for example.

Part 3 of 3: Avoiding the Dangers of Dating Older Men

Date an Elder Guy Step 13

Step 1. Expect judgments from those closest to you

Not everyone likes the idea of ​​a couple consisting of an older man and a young girl. People may feel that the guy is abusing you or pressuring you to commit to him. Make it clear that you have a strong connection with him and that you wouldn't date someone who objectifies you.

  • Reveal the news to your parents very calmly. Give them some time to get used to the idea. They only want your good, and when they see that the relationship involves a lot of love and equality, they will support you.
  • If you can, introduce a friend or sibling to your new boyfriend before talking to your parents. This person can help with breaking the news to your elders.
Date an Elder Guy Step 14

Step 2. Maintain a relationship based on equality

It is important that the two parts of dating play similar roles. The fact that he is older does not mean that he is responsible for all the decisions of the couple, after all, he is your partner, not your father. If the relationship gets serious, it's important that you discuss all the issues before making any decisions.

  • You should feel comfortable expressing your opinions, even if they are contrary to his.
  • Know your value. Refuse to be in a relationship with someone who wants to control you.
Date an Elder Guy Step 15

Step 3. Don't fall into traps

Some guys seek out younger women because they believe they are easier to manipulate and control. Don't date jealous, controlling men who accelerate the relationship, create unrealistic expectations, and discourage you from interacting with your family and friends. Don't date guys who blame you for their own problems and feelings. Also do not accept being threatened, belittled, assaulted or belittled.

  • Many attitudes may appear to be signs of devotion, but they are warnings of abuse. A guy who shows up at your work unannounced, who tries to protect you from everything, or who claims to be unable to live without you is manipulative and should be avoided.
  • If you are being physically abused, dial 190 to call the police and dial 180 to report domestic violence.


  • Take it easy. Don't rush a relationship without first building a connection with the other person.
  • Be honest. Say exactly what you want from the relationship, because lying and saying what you think the guy wants to hear will only cause problems in the future.


  • Don't assume an older guy will want to have kids with you. Maybe he already has all the children he wants or he just doesn't want to have heirs. Likewise, if you've never wanted to be a mother, dating a man with kids is probably not the best option.
  • Don't let the guy feel like he can control you. Impose yourself and always defend your opinion.
  • Don't get too attached to a relationship. It is normal to change and want other things in life, especially in youth. The older man probably already knows what he wants, but you are at the age of experimentation.
  • It is illegal to date someone older if you are not yet the legal minimum age for consent. In Brazil and Portugal, the minimum age is 14 years. In the United States, the law varies from state to state, but the minimum age is usually between 16 and 18 years old.

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