Many preteens don't have that much experience with guys. However, if you want to catch the attention of a specific guy, read the tips in this article to find out what to do!
Part 1 of 4: Approaching the boy
Step 1. Get the boy's attention
If he looks in your direction every now and then, he's probably interested. If not, continue reading the steps in this article. It's great to build a friendship first, but if you're embarrassed, get close to his friends first. The boy will start paying more and more attention.
- Laugh a lot. This always gets the boys' attention. Just don't sound crazy, laughing every ten seconds at everything he says. Also, smile, but not to the point of being forced, to show that you are self-confident.
- Find out what the guy likes and do the same thing. Is he a sports fan? From science? If possible, go to the same places and do the same activities.
Step 2. Make your presence obvious
Say hi!" and bye!" with a nod and be friendly. When he responds, it is because he is attentive. Just don't expect him to notice your presence out of nowhere, without at least a greeting. Things don't work that way.
- Ask him to help you do something, even if you don't really need help.
- Ask him how his weekend went.
- Talk about the parties or events you will be attending.
Step 3. Get comfortable around him
Don't start talking about random things like "What do you do after class?" He might get suspicious. Act naturally.
- If he sits close to you during class, enjoy! If not, don't worry: approach him little by little and ask him to do some work.
- If you notice he has a problem (major or small), be willing to help. Make it clear that you are there for whatever comes, whether in person or via messages.
Step 4. Change your style a little to get more of his attention
Most men like confident, elegant women. You don't have to try to be a top model! Just work on your confidence and remember that you are beautiful, smart, popular and cute.
- Buy new clothes. You don't need to renew your entire wardrobe to get attention, but some stylish (and trendy) pieces help a lot.
- Cut your hair. Talk to your hairdresser and ask for a new cut. How would you look with a john cut? What if it made lights? Think of cool ways to change and get attention.
- Want to lose a few pounds? Talk to your mom to see if you can join a gym or sports class. Even if you don't want to lose weight, staying fit makes everyone more confident and healthy. Still, if the boy doesn't accept the way he is, it's because he's not so good for your life. He's losing it!
Part 2 of 4: Creating a friendship with the guy
Step 1. Be a friendly shoulder to the guy when you get a little closer
It's very difficult to start dating without a friendship first - and that's what makes relationships so special.
Step 2. Understand the value of his opinions and suggestions
This doesn't mean you have to put your opinions aside. They are equally important. Discuss them whenever possible.
- Listen to what the boy has to say. Take advantage of these opportunities to find out more about him and respect his opinions.
- Talk to the boy. People are often attracted to those with whom they bond emotionally. Talk about interesting, funny and fun subjects with the young man to strengthen the bonds.
- Ask the boy about his history - his parents, his childhood, his siblings, and so on. Just don't be nosy, as these details are personal. Talk about your life too to give you an idea of who you are.
- Ask the boy what his goals are. What does he want from the future, what are his interests, what makes him happy? You can find a lot out of a person with these details. Then also think about your own goals to be able to talk about.
Step 3. Try not to say anything bad about him to your friends
If you argue, for example, they might end up saying what they don't owe the boy.
- Defend the boy if he gets into a fight. Do not doubt your friendship with him.
- Don't gossip about the boy. Gossip spreads like a virus. Don't lick your teeth.
Step 4. If possible, reach out to the boy's friends
In the beginning, just make small talk; don't be in a hurry, or you'll look nosy. Smile, be kind and bring up the subject so you don't have problems with these people.
Step 5. Start doing things with the boy
You may have to take action on your own, but if he accepts it will be halfway there.
- In the beginning, invite him to go out in a group. You can go to the beach, go on a trail, etc.
- Here are some cool options for pre-teens:
- Go to an amusement park (with a Ferris wheel, roller coaster, etc.).
- Go to the cinema.
- Go to a cultural event.
- Do something after class (or not do anything at all, just be with him).
Part 3 of 4: Giving Evidence That You Like the Guy
Step 1. Start sending the boy signals
Once you're comfortable with each other, start dropping some hints that you're interested in more than friendship. You can send messages or even write notes by hand (for the young man to keep as a souvenir).
- Ask the guy to hold his backpack for a while and see what he does.
- Invite the boy to dance. Don't mind the fact that you are a woman.
- Flirt. There are several ways to flirt:
- Use the look. Stare at the boy for a while and smile a little.
- Use touch. Touch the boy's shoulders when you talk to him.
- Use the words. Praise some aspect of him, like his sports skills and his new haircut. He'll like it if you notice these details.
- Take his hand. This is a more obvious sign of interest.
- Embrace the boy longer than usual.
Step 2. Don't be discouraged if the boy doesn't understand your advances
Some preteen boys don't bond that easily. Girls generally enter puberty before men do; therefore, they are more mature from an emotional point of view.
Step 3. Ask for the boy's mobile number
Be casual: "I just realized I don't have your cell phone." It is important to build friendships outside the classroom.
- Wait for the guy to call your number. Don't leave too much on your face; men don't like talking on cell phones as much as women.
- Send messages regularly, even if it's just to make small talk. Still, only call him if you have a subject in mind.
- Flirt the guy with messages on Facebook, WhatsApp, Instagram and the like. Say something like “I didn't know you were so good at football. The game was great!”.
Step 4. Be patient
Men usually show whether they are interested or not without saying a word. In these cases, you will instinctively know if the guy is up for it.
- Keep an eye out for signs that the guy is nervous around you. Maybe he's interested. He:
- Do you or blush when they're talking? Maybe it's his body giving it away.
- Face you and then look away? Maybe you're daydreaming.
- Does it live around you, even if not directly? Maybe he's interested, but doesn't want to make it obvious.
Step 5. Watch for the most obvious signs that the guy is interested
Some are shooting and falling, as if he is touching or hugging you. Also, there are some other clues:
- Do the boy's pupils dilate when he looks at you? Eye color can also change slightly in these situations.
- Does he touch you, offer you a “horseback” ride, or is he always too close? Maybe he's just using excuses not to get off your back.
- Does he stutter or talk slurred? It's because his heart is racing and he doesn't want to stick his foot in it.
- Don't trust too drastic changes in the boy's anatomy. Some of them, even when obvious, are random and normal in preteen men.
Step 6. Be more direct if the guy still doesn't notice
Remember that it is better to try to do something and fail than to die with the doubt of what could have happened. Wait for the perfect moment - you'll know when it arrives.
- Don't ask the guy out in front of other people, or he may decline the invitation.
- Keep calm when making the invitation. Make eye contact and smile to show confidence. It's hard, but you're willing to give it a try!
- Ask if he would like to go to a movie or go out to eat. You don't need to use the word “date” officially.
Step 7. Don't call if the guy isn't interested
It's going to be boring, but the hurt won't last forever. You have a lot to offer and there are a lot of other nice guys out there.
- If the boy says “no”, smile and walk away without showing too much emotion.
- Try not to do anything weird or cruel to the guy. Don't lose your composure.
Part 4 of 4: Taking Action When You're Dating
Step 1. Don't take too large steps at the beginning of the relationship
For example: kiss him when he agrees to date you, but don't get too hooked the first week. Be patient!
- If the boy shows affection for you, don't overreact too much. Show that you're interested, but don't hand over all the gold at once.
- Do not accept to do anything under pressure. Dating should involve mutual respect, without anyone being uncomfortable.
Step 2. Don't talk about breakups or negative assumptions
Early in a relationship, some people think it's cool to make a friendship pact even if they break up. Don't make that mistake.
- That way, the boy will be left with a sense of security - and not mind losing you.
- Besides, it's weird to talk about breaking up early on in a relationship. How do you know what it's going to feel like to finish? You can't know. Talk about good things.
- Enjoy dating, instead of talking about it. That way, everyone will be more relaxed.
Step 3. Give the boy space and freedom
Everyone needs space. It's not because the guy is going out with friends that he doesn't like you!
- Let the boy socialize with friends without this being a problem. You can see each other at another time of day, such as in the afternoon or at night.
- However, be on the back foot if the boy never has time for you. He has to want your company, since you've made a commitment to each other.
- Don't be hurt every time a guy talks to another girl. Every person has the right to talk to whoever they want, but not to flirt or hit on when they're compromised. Trust him unless you have good reason to be suspicious.
Step 4. Don't overdo your interactions with the guy on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter
Don't stay up all night talking to him through social media. Leave him with a taste of want more!
- Spend more time talking to him in person or over the phone. It's okay to call him from time to time. Just don't leave everything to solve through the media.
- You can send him loving messages from time to time. Surprise him to make him happy, but don't always expect an answer.
Step 5. Cultivate mutual respect in the relationship
Don't accept being treated like a doormat. You are a human being and deserve respect.
- Don't let the boy boss you around. Have attitude and defend yourself whenever necessary.
- Love yourself before anyone else. It's hard to like someone when we don't like ourselves so much. Also, take the opportunity to discover more about yourself in the relationship.
- Notice if he also shows affection, respect, and attention.
Change what you don't like about yourself and keep things positive. Every relationship is a two-way street: if all the effort comes from your side, it's because the guy isn't doing his part
Step 6. Be mature if you are done
Every dating runs the risk of ending. Even though there's still a chance you'll come back, don't worry: there are a lot of nice guys out there.
- You don't need to delete the guy from Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc. Just stop following it.
- Be friendly but distant. Show politeness without making it look like you're still interested. He has to bear the consequences of the decision.
- Walk with your head up. You look more beautiful every day: be confident and call people's attention for the positive things.
- Take care of your hygiene. Brush your teeth, wash your hair and wear nice clothes.
- Choose the right guy carefully. Don't date the first person you meet out of desperation.
- Always be yourself when you meet the boy; show you're happy when he gets close.
- If the guy talks a lot about his day to day, it's because he trusts you.
- Do not respond to the boy's messages immediately. Wait two or three minutes so you don't look like you're desperate and hooked on your cell phone.
- When the guy sits down, see if he points his feet or hips in your direction. If so, maybe he's looking at you unconsciously.
- Don't be offended if he asks you to leave him alone. Maybe he's not having a good day. Wait a while not to make things worse. Say “Hi” the next time you meet and see the reaction - if he responds calmly, it's because the mood has already improved.
- See if the guy laughs and smiles more often when he's with you. This is a good sign.
- Don't live or die for that person. Learn to be happy even when you're not dating.
- If the boy has just arrived at school, introduce yourself and offer to help him get to know the environment.
- If the guy doesn't talk, doesn't give signs or you do something and he doesn't pay the slightest attention, give up, he has feelings for someone else. It's no use insisting, try to like the person who also likes you.
- Don't change just because of the boy. He has to like you that way, not a sly version.
- Don't be rude when the guy tries to talk to you, or he'll think there's a problem.
- Don't obsess. He doesn't have to give satisfaction about everything he does, for example. Respect his privacy.
- Don't avoid seeing or talking to the guy all the time! He might get the wrong impression. Be confident and give the right signals.
- Don't do anything uncomfortable just to make the guy like you.
- Never talk about your ex-boyfriends. The boy might get the impression that you still like one of them.
- Don't be jealous if he talks to other girls. Maybe he just likes them as friends. Don't do anything against these “competitors”.
- Don't be jealous if you find the boy with another girl, especially if you don't have anything. Even if they're hooking up or dating, don't assume he's cheating on you - and if so, stay calm to talk.
- Do not send obscene messages to the boy. You can ruin your chances with him if you make a mistake. This not only affects reputation, but it can also get any girl in trouble with every boy in school.
- Don't stare at the boy too much.
- Don't talk about anything that might make the boy jealous. If he changes the subject once, it might be better to change the focus of the conversation.