3 Ways to Stop Falling in Love

Table of contents:

3 Ways to Stop Falling in Love
3 Ways to Stop Falling in Love
Anonim

It doesn't matter if you want to get over a breakup or just stop getting into trouble, sometimes there comes a time when you don't want to fall in love anymore. If this describes your current emotional state, you may be having some difficulty getting your feelings under control, but don't worry! Everyone can avoid a new crush - just focus on yourself for a while and take steps to reduce your chances of falling in love with someone. Also, reflecting on the reasons behind this decision can help you break out of old, unhealthy patterns in relationships.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Focusing on you

Stop Falling in Love Step 1

Step 1. Make the resolution public

Make your intentions very clear if you want to dampen the hopes of potential suitors and keep them from getting close. Tell friends, family and acquaintances that you are not interested in a relationship.

  • For example, you could add "single and happy" to the description of your social media profiles.
  • If a specific person is into you, express your intentions by remembering that you intend to remain single or that you think you should just be good friends.
Stop Falling in Love Step 2

Step 2. Get busy with your goals

Avoid a new passion by focusing exclusively on your career and other dreams and future plans. Put your dreams and goals down on paper and leave out any romantic topics. Develop a clear action plan for achieving each goal and make it your top priority.

Keep in mind that a person who is overly focused on their own goals can end up damaging relationships with loved ones if they don't make time for friends and family

Stop Falling in Love Step 3

Step 3. Ask others to remind you of the commitment you made to yourself

Avoiding contact with any and all potential suitors is an impossible mission, as we can meet interesting people at work or when we go out with friends. However, to prevent overly intense feelings from arising, call loved ones to keep their feet on the ground. Say you're not interested in a new passion right now and ask them to remind you of that.

For example, you could ask a coworker to mention your goals whenever you're laughing excessively at the jokes of a new office worker, and your best friend could turn you away from an attractive bartender when you're having fun at a bar.

Stop Falling in Love Step 4

Step 4. Take care of yourself

It's a very important habit when trying to get over old hurts and worries, so make it a regular practice and put health and well-being first. Cultivate such habits even if you fall in love with someone.

Taking care of yourself can involve a healthy, nutritious diet, regular exercise, adequate rest, and time to pursue hobbies and personal interests

Stop Falling in Love Step 5

Step 5. Fall in love with yourself

A great way to reduce your chances of falling in love with someone is to fall in love with yourself. Many people jump from relationship to relationship because they feel ugly or unwanted, but when we give special attention and care to ourselves, we don't depend on anyone else to play that role in our lives.

  • Remind yourself of the reasons why you are an amazing person by mentioning your positive qualities on a daily basis. Make a date with yourself: go to dinner at a fine restaurant, see a movie at the cinema or see your favorite band's show. Praise yourself the way a boyfriend would, and buy yourself special gifts.
  • Furthermore, by exhibiting independence and self-love, you will show everyone how you expect to be treated, and when you finally enter a relationship, your partner will be aware of all your expectations. So take all the time in the world to take care of yourself, with lots of love, respect and kindness.

Method 2 of 3: Dealing With New and Old Passions

Stop Falling in Love Step 6

Step 1. Stand back a little

One of the most important factors when we want to control the feelings we have for someone is the amount of time we spend with that person, particularly in moments alone. So avoid the person whenever possible, and if you can't pull away completely, avoid spending any time together with them as much as possible.

  • For example, if she asks you for a beer after work, invite the other colleagues in the office to avoid the two of you being alone.
  • Surround yourself with positive and inspiring loved ones who make you feel good about yourself. These friends, colleagues, and family members must accept and support your feelings, as well as being helpful and understanding that life and decisions are uniquely yours.
Stop Falling in Love Step 7

Step 2. Block the person from social media

Contacting an “almost flirt” online can influence your feelings, so remember to avoid him there as well. Break up friendships on social media, or if that sounds too drastic, download an app that tracks your general browsing habits - you won't be able to snoop on someone's life if you can't log in to Facebook.

Make a commitment to be offline at times when you are most likely to eavesdrop on someone's life. Some smartphone apps, such as Freedom and SelfControl, can be very useful

Stop Falling in Love Step 8

Step 3. Cut the flirtations

It's important to prevent the other person from starting to like you, if possible. Don't get your hopes up - seemingly harmless compliments, touches, or looks can send the message that we're interested in someone, so avoid this type of interaction.

If you still need to talk to the person, adopt a polite and indifferent tone of voice, sticking to a simple "hello" and "goodbye"

Stop Falling in Love Step 9

Step 4. Focus on defects

Our vision is often distorted when we are in love and we put the other person on a pedestal, seeing only their qualities. So cultivate a more rational and realistic view.

Nobody is perfect, so make a list of all the reasons that person isn't either. Reread the list whenever you find yourself thinking too much about her positive traits

Stop Falling in Love Step 10

Step 5. Remember that the other is not available

Maybe you want to avoid a crush because the other person is already engaged – in that case, imagine the face or name of your crush partner whenever you start fantasizing about him. This will help you keep a rational and objective perspective.

Stop Falling in Love Step 11

Step 6. Accept that we cannot always rule our hearts

Being in love with someone and taking action to vent those feelings are two very different things. Often, despite all your efforts, infatuation with someone is inevitable, but you don't need to do anything if you don't want a relationship or aren't ready to love.

Accept that you like the person and that you really have fun with them, but remember that you are not available right now

Method 3 of 3: Dealing With Love Problems

Stop Falling in Love Step 12

Step 1. Analyze your love issues

The desire to run away from romance when we are afraid of hurt or disappointment is completely understandable, but it can keep you from having someone special in your life. So try to get to the root of these feelings, whether writing about them in a journal or talking about them with a friend.

For example, perhaps you have been betrayed in the past and are now afraid it will happen again, or perhaps you are afraid of falling in love with someone who forces you to give up your future plans and dreams

Stop Falling in Love Step 13

Step 2. Reflect on your relationship habits

It's not surprising that someone who's been hurt a lot in the past wants to stop falling in love, but reflecting on your love experiences can help you be luckier in the future.

Ask yourself questions like “How do I usually act in these situations? Can I identify any patterns that might influence the course of my relationships?”

Stop Falling in Love Step 14

Step 3. Change some habits to be luckier in love

For example, let's say you always meet new suitors at bars or clubs - in which case, a park or free course could help you meet different types of people, with different results.

Another common example is the habit of pushing others away for fear of abandonment. When the other person gets tired of this behavior and ends up walking away, our fear turns into a prophecy ("I already knew!"). So try giving someone a chance this time - maybe the relationship will take a completely different turn

Stop Falling in Love Step 15

Step 4. Change your applicant type

Maybe you want to stop falling in love because you always choose the same type of partner, such as bad influences, committed people, or those who can't make a serious commitment to anyone. In that case, changing your suitor type may lead to a happier ending.

  • Reflect on the kinds of people you tend to fall in love with, and this time, when you're finally ready to try again, try dating completely different people.
  • For example, if you're always attracted to "cool guys," start paying attention to more conservative men. Or maybe you like spontaneous people who burn their entire paycheck in one night, but you may find that a relationship with someone more serious and trustworthy is far more satisfying. Change the defaults and see what happens.
Stop Falling in Love Step 16

Step 5. Slow down

Are you the type to fall in love in less than a week? In this case, the tendency to accelerate the natural pace of things can be the big culprit for your failures in love. You'll have more opportunities to evaluate a suitor and determine if he or she really is the ideal partner if you take the time and don't fall completely in love right away.

Reflect on the rhythm of relationships. If you always end up spending the entire weekend with a suitor you've just met, don't do it anymore – go on a date and then wait a few days to see the person again. Also, wait a few more days before going to bed with someone if you always have sex on your first date

Stop Falling in Love Step 17

Step 6. Let go of fears

The only way to overcome the fear of love and commitment is to face it, so make a plan with small steps to help you put all your fears in their place.

Let's say you're afraid to give up your dreams for love. If so, make it clear that your dreams are extremely important whenever you're talking to a potential partner. Also, remember to focus on your goals during the first few months of the relationship, when we tend to lose focus easily

Stop Falling in Love Step 18

Step 7. See a therapist

Perhaps you are afraid of falling in love with someone because of past emotional trauma, such as abuse or rejection, or you simply don't want to lose your autonomy and so prevent anyone from entering your life. Regardless of the reasons, a psychotherapist can always help you identify the source of the problem and devise a plan to combat this fear.

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