How to Handle a Nagging Wife (with Pictures)

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How to Handle a Nagging Wife (with Pictures)
How to Handle a Nagging Wife (with Pictures)

Complaining and nagging are present in many marriages. It's a cycle of behavior that usually starts with one party thinking that this is the only way to get what you want. Are you tired of your wife's behavior? There are several ways to handle the situation. At the time, try to stay calm and be respectful. If necessary, back off. But going forward, work on solving deep-rooted problems and making small changes in order to cultivate a happier and more harmonious home.


Part 1 of 4: Protecting Your Emotional Health

Deal with a Nagging Wife Step 1

Step 1. Try to calm down

In the heat of the moment, you may have the impression that it's impossible to take the pissing off. Of course, the whole situation is frustrating and hurtful, but don't let yourself get so upset. Anger and hurt can have negative effects on physical and mental health.

  • You already have to deal with a mountain of stress from the grumbling. Try to avoid bigger problems. Stress can give you a headache, increase your heart rate, and cause hyperventilation.
  • Take a deep breath five times, slowly inhaling and exhaling to relax.
  • After you walk away, how about listening to some quiet music or taking a hot shower?
Deal with a Nagging Wife Step 2

Step 2. Get out of the situation

Often the harassment is too much to bear. If your wife doesn't stop offending you, feel free to leave. No one has the right to make you feel bad.

Make it clear that the interaction is over. You can say, “I'm going for a walk to calm down. Your words are too harsh.”

Deal with a Nagging Wife Step 3

Step 3. Acknowledge your emotions

When the grumbling is constant, it's important to recognize what you feel. The situation only gets worse if you repress your emotions, so try to be honest with yourself. Some common reactions are:

  • Anger.
  • Frustration.
  • Worry.
  • Low self esteem.
Deal with a Nagging Wife Step 4

Step 4. Take more care of yourself

It's important to make an effort to protect your emotional health. When petting causes a lot of stress, it's time to set aside more time to take care of yourself. Treat yourself well to allow your head a break.

  • Spend time outdoors. Go on a trail or play football.
  • Eat your favorite food.
  • See that movie you've been wanting for a long time.
Deal with a Nagging Wife Step 5

Step 5. Vent

It's unhealthy to dampen emotions, as this will only make you more frustrated and angry. It's far better to allow yourself to express your feelings and get a little relief.

  • Schedule a coffee with a trusted friend and let them know you need to talk.
  • Try keeping a diary. Writing down what you feel can be cathartic.

Part 2 of 4: Seeking Positive Ways to Resolve the Situation

Deal with a Nagging Wife Step 6

Step 1. Define the problem

Nobody likes complaints, but which aspect bothers you the most? Is it the request or the way your wife speaks? Maybe it's time or frequency.

  • Do you get mad just because your partner asks you to take out the trash? Or are you more upset because she orders as soon as you get home from work?
  • When you manage to understand the source of your discomfort, you can resolve the situation more easily.
Deal with a Nagging Wife Step 7

Step 2. Be willing to negotiate

Your wife can get defensive if you make demands. Rather than urging her to change her behavior immediately, take a more understanding approach.

  • For example, you can come to an agreement and find a compromise on an issue that bothers you.
  • Say: “I take the garbage out without any problems, but when I get home from work it's not possible. I can start doing this in the morning, how about?"
Deal with a Nagging Wife Step 8

Step 3. Clarify your feelings

With the buildup of stress, it's easy to fall into the trap of fighting over nothing. Avoid this situation and prefer to have a productive conversation with your wife. Be sure to explain what you've been feeling, clarifying why.

  • Speak in the first person to avoid blaming them.
  • Try it: "I get stressed when you ask me a thousand times to do the same thing."
Deal with a Nagging Wife Step 9

Step 4. Defend your point of view

Does your wife not respect your way of thinking? You might get discouraged, but it's important to stick to what you say. Remember that your perceptions and feelings matter.

Nobody has the right to minimize their emotions. Even if your wife thinks it's bullshit, know that your feelings are valid

Part 3 of 4: Improving Communication

Deal with a Nagging Wife Step 10

Step 1. Listen carefully

The best way to understand your wife's point of view is to listen to what she has to say. Make an effort to improve the couple's communication, which includes improving listening skills.

  • Show that you are listening by maintaining eye contact and nodding.
  • Another way to show interest is to paraphrase what she says, for example: "As I understand it, you think I don't fulfill my obligations in the house."
Deal with a Nagging Wife Step 11

Step 2. Find ways to compromise

You need to talk honestly about her behavior. During this conversation, try to find a compromise. Perhaps you will find that you are unhappy with the same things.

You might say, “I agree that we are not evenly dividing the chores around the house. How can we make things fairer? I don't want to weigh you down.”

Deal with a Nagging Wife Step 12

Step 3. Show affection

Complaining can be a serious problem, but there are a lot of things you love about your wife, too, aren't there? Try to get closer to her by being more affectionate.

  • Embrace your partner every day.
  • Give her a back rub while you watch TV.
Deal with a Nagging Wife Step 13

Step 4. Make yourself heard

Chances are, if the grumbling is constant, you've already asked your wife to stop. She may seem to listen and even agree to your requests, but it's important to understand that this doesn't always really happen. Listening means understanding what the other is saying, reflecting on the subject and taking action based on that understanding.

  • If she doesn't change, of course she isn't listening to your side. Speak more clearly about your emotions.
  • An example is: “I explained that I feel hurt, angry and frustrated, but I feel that you don't listen to me because you keep picking on me even though you know all this. I need you to understand my point of view.”
Deal with a Nagging Wife Step 14

Step 5. Get in therapy

Often, marriage comes to a crossroads. If your efforts to resolve the situation come to nothing, it may be time to seek help from an outsider. Therapy can be a great way to improve a couple's communication.

  • Ask if your wife is willing to do therapy with you so that the two of you can work it out together.
  • If she doesn't want to go, go alone. Either way, you can learn to handle your emotions better.
Deal with a Nagging Wife Step 15

Step 6. Get back to the subject

It's important to solve the problem somehow. It's not fair to cultivate such a negative environment. Does your wife continue to behave the same way? It's good to bring up the subject again.

  • Make it clear that you don't want to sweep the problem under the rug.
  • Say: “I know we talked about this a little while ago, but I haven't seen any positive changes. You need to realize that you're hurting me.”
Deal with a Nagging Wife Step 16

Step 7. Insist on change

If your wife doesn't stop, you have every right to demand some sort of solution. Have you tried to communicate better and even had therapy? It's time to make a firmer demand.

  • Decide whether the complaint is a critical issue. If not, keep trying to get your wife to listen.
  • If the last pain in the ass was the last straw, make it clear: “You can't live with all this stress anymore. If you don't change now, I'm going to start thinking about taking a break from our marriage.”

Part 4 of 4: Trying to Understand Your Wife's Behavior

Deal with a Nagging Wife Step 17

Step 1. Analyze what she says

Put yourself in your wife's shoes for a minute. Is she really upset about the garbage? Or maybe with a bigger question? Often people cling to a minor problem to hide their anxiety about something deeper.

It's possible she thinks she's not heard. That's why she keeps complaining about the garbage, when in fact she needs you to pay attention to what she asks and says

Deal with a Nagging Wife Step 18

Step 2. Show interest in her

Doesn't your wife just need a little more of your attention? Maybe she's having trouble expressing emotions. Give some thought to the content of the complaints.

  • Does your partner always ask you to make the effort to come home early? Even if it's boring, it could be her way of saying that she needs to spend more time in your company.
  • Spend more quality time together. Sit down and talk at least once a week. Maybe the complaints don't come to an end?
Deal with a Nagging Wife Step 19

Step 3. Take the issue with another look

If you think complaints aren't about garbage, think about the real reason behind them. Then find the best words to express yourself, ask your wife if you can talk, and try to sort it out.

  • An example is saying, “You say I'm always too busy to take out the trash. Do you feel like I'm too busy to pay attention to you?”
  • Another option is to explain your side, such as: "I know I seem to ignore your requests, but the truth is, I'd rather talk to you than do these chores right when I get home."
Deal with a Nagging Wife Step 20

Step 4. See her good intentions

When your wife pisses you off, it's natural to focus more on the negative, finding that attitude irritating or even nasty. Try to combat this impression by thinking about her intentions. It may be that your partner speaks only for your own good.

For example, maybe she pesters you to go to the gym. Stop to understand that she only does this because she cares about your health


  • Clarify your feelings. Don't hesitate to defend your point of view.
  • Focus on the good side of the relationship.
  • Give yourself time to cool off if a fight heats up.

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