How to Get a Girl to Reply to Your SMS

Table of contents:

How to Get a Girl to Reply to Your SMS
How to Get a Girl to Reply to Your SMS

The secret to flirting these days is instant messaging. This feature made it much easier to captivate the girl you like, be part of her daily life, be available whenever she needs it. You know that beautiful girl you saw on the subway, totally into whatever you were doing on your cell phone? Yes, she was exchanging messages. A girl recently gave you her number, but you don't know how to start a conversation? Here are some tips.


Part 1 of 4: Find out what your goal is

783169 1

Step 1. Decide what kind of relationship you want to nurture with the girl

If you want her as a friend, your posture in texts may be more relaxed than what you would adopt when talking to a girl you have a romantic interest in. Once you've set that goal, communicate with her in a tone that matches it.

Note: Most of the steps below are designed to help those who want to bond with a girl romantically

Get a Girl to Text You Back Step 2

Step 2. Don't be sticky

Don't contact her as soon as you get her number - this can create the impression that you are clingy or irritating. After waiting as long as you think is necessary (2 or 3 days, maximum), send a short message, just to imply that you have been thinking about it. The first message should be concise and, at the same time, sweet. Use a provocative, fun or mysterious tone - or a combination of all three.

Most guys would send a text something like this: "Hi. This is João. We met at the cafeteria, remember?" Sending such a message is an error. Act as if you know she remembers you, that she eagerly awaits a message from you. Just ask her if she remembers you in a teasing way (for example, tease her about how much she drank the night you met)

Get a Girl to Text You Back Step 3

Step 3. Keep a cohesive tone

Try to reinforce the impression you gave when you started exchanging messages. If, while flirting, you gave her a silly nickname (like "short" or "silly"), repeat it in your text conversations as a way to recreate the rapport you have in person.

Part 2 of 4: Find the right thing to say

Get a Girl to Text You Back Step 1

Step 1. Send a message with just a "hi"

Wait for an answer. She will probably ask who it is. Tell her. If there is no response, wait a few days before trying again - and if she doesn't respond to this second attempt, it's a sign that she's not interested. In case you start talking, try to find out more about your friends, family, interests, etc. From what she tells you, decide what to do next.

783169 5

Step 2. Keep it simple

The best approach is the most economical. Just say hi. If the girl doesn't have your number, she'll be curious to know who it is, and will probably send you a reply.

  • Probable Answer #1: If she asks who you are, try to make the situation fun - encourage her to guess or, to tease her, imply that she gives the number to so many guys that she can't even remember them all.
  • Probable answer #2: if she answers, "Hi, is this John from the cafeteria?", say something like "I hope I haven't left you glued to the phone all week, waiting for a message from me:)". This approach is bold, fun and thought-provoking. Maybe you imagine wearing a smiley face isn't going to make such a manly impression, but it's just a way of letting her know you're making a joke, especially if she doesn't know you well yet.

    Another way to answer is something like, "So, are you that beautiful blonde [or brunette] I met on Wednesday?" This bold tone is surprising and hilarious in the right measure

Get a Girl to Text You Back Step 9

Step 3. Feign reassurance before calling her

Allow a period of a few days or a week, during which you will have exchanged messages a few times, before calling and trying to arrange a meeting. In messages, try to flirt with her, make her laugh, and encourage her attraction to you, so as to minimize the chances that something will go wrong when you set up the date (or while you're on it).

Part 3 of 4: Know what to do if she doesn't respond

783169 7

Step 1. Understand your relationship to her

If the girl refuses to respond, it is important to handle the issue properly. There can be varying degrees of commitment between two people exchanging text messages, and you have to behave in accordance with the etiquette each requires. If this is your first time texting the girl, remember that you are practically a stranger to her. In this case, keep in mind that she has no obligations to you, so don't send aggressive messages or messages that imply she owes you a response.

783169 8

Step 2. Wait a while before trying again

If you've never exchanged messages, wait a couple of days for the reply. If she doesn't come, the girl may not be able to remember you or what impressions she had of you. Send a new message a little more specific, like, "Hi, Tânia. This is João, that cute guy you met at the cafeteria. I'm still waiting for that date invitation you promised:)". This is a good way to clarify who you are without losing your fun and charming tone.

If two days have gone by without an answer, you can also try calling and, in case she doesn't answer, leave something like, "Hi, Tânia. This is João. I sent you an SMS, but I don't know if you received. Anyway, I just wanted to know how you've been." It's better to forget about her and get on with your life if, after this stage, she still doesn't show interest

783169 9

Step 3. If she suddenly stops texting in the middle of a conversation, take a break

Remember that sometimes we have higher priorities than answering an SMS: her mother may be hospitalized, her car's tire may be flat, and so on. Thousands of inconveniences can keep us from continuing a conversation, no matter how much we like the person we're talking to.

  • Send something that shows concern - "Everything okay out there?" So you remind her to respond while making it clear that you care about her.
  • If there are no new messages, wait a week. Then, in a relaxed way, imply that you've also been busy: "Hey, Tania. Just got back from a weekend at the beach. I want to know if you're okay. Talk to you soon." If she doesn't send any more messages, it's time to move on.
783169 10

Step 4. Know what to do if she disappears before a date

Did you combine any program together and she didn't show any more signs of life? Try to look worried with a short text - "How are you?" - and wait for some news. After 20 minutes, send, "Is our date still standing today?" She's probably having some setback and will give you explanations as soon as she gets the chance. But if you don't answer anything, maybe I'm dismissing you. In that case, stop insisting.

Part 4 of 4: Mastering the Pace of the Conversation

Get a Girl to Text You Back Step 4

Step 1. Don't piss her off

How often you send messages is very important. Speeding up the conversation is very easy, but it's something to be avoided, at least for the first few days. It would suck if she ended up pissed off because a guy she just met makes her phone beep constantly.

Get a Girl to Text You Back Step 5

Step 2. Be quick

The best way to captivate her is with short conversations. After you've exchanged something between four and six messages, tell them you're busy and that you'll talk later. Really try to engage in something interesting - you don't want your relationship to start off on a lie.

Get a Girl to Text You Back Step 6

Step 3. Respond calmly

It's easy to get carried away by the excitement of talking to the girl you care about, but if she sees that your responses are always immediate, she'll imagine you're always glued to the phone, eager for a new message, and that can end with the fun of the game. Try to strike a balance: the response time shouldn't be so small that she's irritated, nor so long that she thinks you're making light of it. The beauty of digital communication is the time it gives us to think about the replica. So when it's your turn to write, try as hard as you can.

Get a Girl to Text You Back Step 7

Step 4. End conversations

When it's time to say goodbye, say "I need to go" or "I'm busy" and end with "We'll talk later". Ending conversations is a way to demonstrate that you are not clingy.

Get a Girl to Text You Back Step 8

Step 5. Get hold of yourself

When she says goodbye, let her go (unless she asks you a question). If she is the last to send a message, it will make her anxious to know when and if you will respond, which puts you in control of the situation.

783169 16

Step 6. Don't feel too sorry for yourself

Few things are less attractive to a woman than a desperate man. If she doesn't want to take your relationship any further, it's time to pick up the pieces and move on. Find another nice girl and try your luck with her.


  • Be patient. If she said she's going away, wait for her to come back. The fact that she let you know is going to be unavailable means she cares, so don't disturb her.
  • Don't pretend to be busy. When she responds, don't rush to say goodbye or to invent that you have something more important to do - don't leave her in a vacuum and don't pretend to lead a life you don't. If she reciprocates your message, great! If she hasn't given any signals after several days and your anxiety is very high (it's normal to feel this way), just send a message.
  • Be brief and polite, but don't be overly concise. Say something that piques her interest and don't add anything else. If there is no response after several days, start preparing to forget about it. From that point on, no matter what action you take, don't get your hopes up.
  • The secret to success is to become her friend first and foremost. Boost what you have in common and don't make her wait too long to see you in person - after all, she was interested enough in you to give you her cell number. That way she can fall in love with you, and not with the idea you get over the phone.

Popular by topic