Getting a girl to pay attention is hard enough. But make her obsess? This is practically the Mount Everest of romantic challenges. Still, it's doable, and completely valid. If you want to try to get a special lady obsessed with you, consider these tips below.
Step 1. Be her hero
Whenever she's having trouble or worrying about something, don't just sit around and do nothing. Recognize that you don't have all the answers, and that you may not know her exact problems, but try to help her get out of sticky situations.
- Ask her how you can help, but don't insist if the girl refuses to help. Be patient with all her complications and seek to support her. When you can make a difference, do it without hesitation. However, do this cautiously, as you don't want to hurt her in any other way.
- If she already likes you, do a lot more than you should. Do something she would never expect of you, like make breakfast and do the dishes right away. She will become even more obsessed with you. You will be demonstrating your strong personality.
- If she still doesn't like you, or you don't know how she feels, take it easy. Be calm. If you're the kind of guy who sweats and stutters around a girl, just calm down. Think of her as a different friend. If you calm down, don't be angry! Girls find shy boys adorable. You will make her laugh in a good way!
Step 2. Don't get too close to the Friend-Zone
Be friendly to her without always being available. Girls love guys who are a little mysterious - so try to cultivate a little mystery. Don't always answer the phone, don't always tell your plans, etc. Be honest, but not totally direct.
Step 3. Pay attention to your look
Your friends probably don't mind if you're always wearing the same clothes you wore when mowing the lawn – but your dream girl probably won't be too impressed. Here are three simple things you can start doing NOW that will help you.
- Shower and shave every day. If you're not old enough to shave, don't worry. You will soon be. Smell pleasantly and look clean when showering regularly.
- Wear clothes that fit you. The clothes of older brothers or their parents are not valid here. Wear your own clothes, and ones that emphasize your physical shape. It doesn't matter how much money you have – every guy needs a good pair of jeans, a fit t-shirt, a stylish shirt and shoes for all occasions.
- Get in shape. Lose excess fat if you can and turn it into muscle. Most girls like guys who build muscle but aren't yet too big to look intimidating. Find a sport that interests you and go for it. You might even manage to impress the lady with your skills.
Step 4. Be charming
You need to have some kind of charm to attract the woman. Most men are charming in specific ways, but here are other ideas you can put into practice:
- Be a gentleman. That means opening doors, paying for dates, keeping promises, etc. Girls love to feel that a gentleman cares about them.
- Be funny. Girls love guys who are great conversationalists, who can turn everything into a joke. Learn to make fun of yourself elegantly.
- Be smart. You should do your best to read a lot and stay well informed about current issues. Develop curiosity. Women like men who are smart, yet understandable.
Step 5. Be Reliable
Every girl wants a guy who, after all, is trustworthy – trustworthy not because he needs to be, but because he wants to be. Being trustworthy is vital to letting the girl know she is safe with you. Try to be the most trustworthy guy you know.
- Do what you say you will. When you say something, do that thing. Girls don't like guys who say they'll do something and never do.
- Be punctual. Even though some girls take time to get to dates, women hate it when they have to wait for the guy. For her, this indicates: “I'm not punctual because I don't care about you”. Let her know if you're going to be late.
- Have a good reputation. Be the guy who inspires confidence among friends. You never know what she, or one of her friends, might ask about your personality. And if she hears you cheated on your ex-girlfriend, your reputation will be damaged and you'll have to rebuild.
Step 6. Try to be funny
This gives the girl a reason to relax. A person is more responsive and receptive when relaxed. This is similar to being smart, but with greater importance. This helps you connect with her emotionally/intellectually. She will love your company and won't be bored.
Step 7. Don't be too sticky
It's extremely annoying when you're around her touching and flirting awkwardly when she's not interested and has never shown interest. Learn to give her control, even if it's just an illusion.
If a girl doesn't want to go out, for example, or have sex, don't try to force her to. This is not the way to make her obsess over you. Instead, listen to her wishes, understand that she has them, and respect them. You will get more bees with honey than with vinegar
Step 8. Be financially independent
Most women don't care about their salary numbers, or who their parents are, as long as you can afford it. That's great, as most men aren't blessed with fortune. Remember these elements about money when approaching women:
- Women, just like men, want to be pampered from time to time. It doesn't have to be anything fancy, but they like to be pampered. Save enough money to pamper her from time to time.
- Most women don't like men who find themselves because of money. If you have money, don't show it, as it could end up scaring you.
Step 9. Don't flirt too much with other girls
A girl might really like you – however, if she sees you dancing or talking to another girl, it could ruin your night. Make sure the girl knows that you are only interested in her.
- At the same time, have your friends too. If you want to hang out with friends, she will feel safe because other women are comfortable hanging out with you. If you never date women, it can show her that you don't know anything about them.
- Sometimes women like a little competition – just like men! So it's helpful to have some women around as long as you don't get involved or flirt with them.
Step 10. Praise her
Give some old school praise. Don't praise her ability to do everything perfectly, or she will appear too needy or obsessed! However, a compliment can make the girl remember you forever!
- Be honest when praising. Find out what you like most about her – what makes her unique – and tell her so. If true, the compliment will automatically turn out to be sincere.
- Reinforce how she sees herself. If she sees herself as an athlete, reinforce the girl's competitive spirit or athletic abilities. If she sees herself as a thinker, praise her intelligence. If she thinks of herself in a certain way, praise that aspect.
- Focus more on her personality than on her appearance. If you have to compliment her appearance, stay away from more feminine areas and prefer to compliment such elements:
- Clothes (Style, appearance, etc.)
Step 11. Give her reasons to remember you
Sing or hum songs, talk about movies, share your favorite places. Anything that reminds her of you.
Step 12. Balance your sensitive side with your masculine personality
Guys who cultivate a feminine side are loved by women – as long as the guy doesn't completely turn into a girl. That means you need to understand her attitudes, but still be deeply masculine. Learn a lesson with the following tips:
- It's okay to cry in a movie… if it's about sports. Although most girls don't like sport, it is indicative of their masculinity. Be prepared to engage in sport while finding time to see it.
- It's acceptable to dress well… but not so well. As discussed previously, girls love a guy who dresses well. However, as soon as the boy dresses better than her, this can be a big disappointment.
Step 13. Above all, don't take guides like this literally
You shouldn't turn building a relationship into a script. The most important thing to do when looking for a meaningful relationship is to relax around the girl, and allow your true personality to shine through. Don't force yourself to fit a stereotype. You're better off waiting to find a girl who likes you, not a stereotypical “nice guy”. A relationship where you can be yourself is much more meaningful than one where a personality needs to be simulated.
Step 14. Girls have no idea what they want
Be yourself and be a gentleman. Allow her to do what she wants and act like you care about her.
- Smell good!
- Don't talk for hours: give her a chance to talk.
- Show that you are confident in maintaining good posture. Master the art of approaching a girl. When chatting, you can't get too excited, you can't ask all kinds of questions, and you shouldn't give detailed answers. Make her curious enough that she wants to get to know you more and more. Women love mystery.
- Never insult her, especially if she is shy, and even if the insult is a joke. Unless, of course, she knows the insult is a joke.
- If she wants you to kiss her, and you know it, kiss her at the right time. Otherwise, she'll either get bored or think you're not interested in anything more than being a friend. She will end up looking for someone else, who may not be as nice, smart, or pretty as you are.
- After you form a really good friendship, it's nice to bring flowers on Valentine's Day. You could also give other gifts that indicate your feelings.
- Don't praise her if you don't think she's particularly pretty, or that she's done something well.
- Try not to talk to her all the time on a daily basis. She would like a good conversation: however, if you talk constantly and try to force conversations, it will bother her. Relax every now and then to demonstrate that you're not too needy – which, in many cases, disappoints the girl. Allow her to come to you.
- Be very careful when teasing a woman. Calling her fat or insulting her looks is rude and disappointing.
- Don't talk about girls with other girls. Try not to gossip.
- Some girls are offended by "the gentlemanly stuff." Make sure you know the type of girl you're dealing with. Some may see chivalry as sexist, irritatingly cool, or they may see it as an attempt to demonstrate pretense of superiority.
- If a woman says she's not interested, back off. "No means no.