You may be afraid to tell a friend that you like them, but it's the only way to know if it's a reciprocal feeling. He is single? Take courage and ask instead of spending time thinking about what could happen. If he says he's not in the mood, start getting over that unrequited love. On the other hand, he might say he likes you too and start a new romance.
Part 1 of 2: Planning the conversation
Step 1. Don't talk to the guy if he's dating
While there is a small chance that he will leave the current relationship to be with you, it is not very common. More likely, he finds it strange and sees you as a danger to their relationship. So find out if he's single before you talk. It's also a good idea to find out about his sexuality if you're not sure. You need to check if he's gay, straight or bi to see if he has a chance.
Do you like a friend who has a girlfriend or is gay? Try going out with other people to forget about it
Step 2. Write first what you want to say
That way you're less nervous when talking to a guy. Put ideas on cell phone or on a piece of paper. Change the words and phrases until it's the way you want it. Of course, you're not going to read and say exactly what you've planned, but this process helps ease the tension.
Write something like: “I realized I like you more than a friend and was wondering if we could schedule a date? You don't need to answer now.”
Step 3. Practice what you want to talk about
After thinking through the content, do an exercise in front of the mirror. If you have a friend who can help you, talk by looking at him. That way you have someone to assess how you express yourself.
Know that it is normal to be nervous. Nobody goes through this situation with ease. Just focus on speaking clearly and informally
Step 4. Ask to talk privately with the boy
He is single? Then it's time to take courage and reveal your feelings. Speaking in person is the best choice, as it is easier to understand reactions and emotions face-to-face than by message. Choosing a private place to talk is very important to be more confident.
- If he says “yes”, you gain an advantage: the new couple can kiss without worrying about the people around them.
- If you're too shy to talk in person, try making an appointment via text message.
- Send a message like this: “Can you meet me at the park after school? I have something important to talk about” or “I really need to talk to you. Could it be tomorrow afternoon?"
- If you don't want to make him worried, add, "Don't worry, it's not bad news."
Step 5. Try to cheer yourself up
Remind yourself of your positive qualities or ask a friend to tell you what is good about you. You are an amazing person, you deserve a lot the love and affection of a guy and there is no reason for your crush not to have the same feeling. If you suffer a rejection, don't think it has anything to do with you. Maybe it wasn't the best time, he's already in love with someone else or is involved with too many problems thinking about relationships.
- Encouraging yourself with words helps build self-confidence and prepare you for conversation.
- Say to yourself, "I'm a nice, smart person and he's lucky I gave him a chance to be with me." Think of your best virtues, for example: courage, honesty, ethics and optimism. Maybe you're a great dancer, volleyball player or make everyone laugh at your jokes. Why are you wonderful?
- Say: “I am beautiful. I deserve to be loved. If he doesn't want me, someone will know how to take the opportunity.”
Step 6. Prepare for rejection
Know what to do in case the worst happens, because maybe he says “no” and you get really hurt. Recognize this possibility! Everyone goes through this at some point in their life. It's very difficult, but you can get over it. Before talking to the guy, talk to a close friend what you plan to do. That way, if it doesn't work out, he can comfort her with a hug and words of support.
- It's less frightening when you know you have a person rooting for you and ready to comfort you.
- Also, you have someone to celebrate with you, if all goes well.
Part 2 of 2: Talking to him
Step 1. Remember that what you want to say may take you by surprise
Try to prepare it beforehand so it's not too shocking. Identify and anticipate his feelings so the guy doesn't feel bad for looking surprised.
Say, "I don't think you know what I mean, but I wanted you to know what I'm feeling."
Step 2. Express yourself clearly but informally
Be straightforward in saying you like him more than as a friend, but don't say you're madly in love, because it might scare him if he's never thought about it.
- Say something like: “I've noticed that I'm starting to like you in a different way. You want to go out with me?"
- Don't ask questions like, "Do you like me too?" or “Want to be my boyfriend?”, because he might not have the same feelings yet, but he might go out with you and get to know you in a different way.
- It is very important to be objective and avoid words like “date” so that he really understands what you mean.
Step 3. Give the impression that the feelings are fresh
You can tell him the truth later if he says “yes” and you start a relationship. But it's better to keep the secret for now so you don't ruin the friendship.
- Say it's something new even if you've been into it for months or even years.
- That way you reduce the pressure on the guy. Furthermore, it's not exactly a lie, as the word “recent” has a subjective meaning.
Step 4. Explain that maintaining the friendship is what worries you the most
Make it clear that you didn't become friends with him because you had ulterior motives. He will feel better knowing that the friendship will continue no matter what answer you give.
Say, for example: “Friendship is what matters most. I understand if you don't want to be with me, but I hope we can continue to be friends.”
Step 5. Respect the boy's decision
Real life is not a romantic comedy where you can make the other person love you with a few magic words. Respect his feelings. If he answers “no”, don't push him. Imagine if it were the other way around and someone tried to change her mind.
Remember that a rejection has nothing to do with you or your chances of finding a boyfriend at another time, but that the guy can't see you any other way
Step 6. Prepare for changes
If he says “yes”, there will be a big transformation in the way you relate. You will go out together as a couple, start kissing and have a very different relationship. If he says “no”, there will be a little awkward period and you will pretend for a while that nothing happened until the mood returns to normal.
- As much as you feel embarrassed or hurt, it's possible to keep the friendship going after you get dumped. It may take time to forget, but you'll get over what happened, fall in love with someone else, and still be with a great friend.
- If you start dating, talk at some point about how to keep the friendships going and continue to hang out with people.