Cultivating a good personality is just as important as taking care of one's appearance, as a person makes more friends, works better, and is happier when he is regularly dedicated to developing strengths and minimizing his own defects. Personality is not immutable, not even in adulthood, so changes for the better are completely possible. Start by setting some personal goals and then work to strengthen your positive traits and interpersonal skills.
Method 1 of 3: Setting Goals
Step 1. Understand yourself.
You are a complex human being who faces many complicated experiences on a daily basis, so you may forget to focus on yourself and to pay attention to how your own behaviors and words affect not only your life, but those of others as well. Gaining more awareness of your current characteristics and how they affect everyone around you besides yourself will help you identify points that need attention. Key aspects include personality attributes, moral values, beliefs, habits, and physical and emotional needs.
Understanding your personality will help you navigate the world better, choosing positive and rewarding situations and experiences, and avoiding those that are destructive and stressful. In other words, this awareness will allow you to observe how you react and how you feel about different circumstances, enabling wiser life choices
Step 2. List the characteristics you want to acquire or strengthen
These could be attributes you already have at a certain level, or qualities you don't yet have but would like to develop.
- For example, perhaps you are a shy person who wants to be more sociable.
- Or perhaps you are already someone very creative who has decided to apply this talent to other areas of life.
- Don't focus on too many traits at once - start by cultivating just one or two traits so you don't get overwhelmed.
Step 3. Control the habits you want to minimize
Put down any characteristics that you don't like on paper - aspects that bother you or make your life difficult are great candidates for the list.
If you are in the habit of interrupting others, for example, you might decide that you want to break out of that habit
Step 4. Make gradual changes
Personality traits are like building blocks that come together to form who we are as people and, in turn, these blocks are made up of even smaller pieces: everyday habits. Therefore, focus on changing habits that are related to personality aspects that influence negative behaviors.
- Let's say you're not happy with the habit of interrupting other people. Such behavior denotes self-centeredness, a trait that can be found in other habits such as spreading gossip or throwing a tantrum whenever you don't get what you want.
- Look at your habits carefully to discover the personality trait behind each one; then try to identify similar habits that are also related to the same trait.
Step 5. Make a plan
Reread your lists and think about how to make them a reality - then make a new list, this time focusing on specific actions you can take to improve your own personality.
The actions should focus on your daily life, that is, on situations that you are used to facing regularly
Step 6. Put the new actions into practice
After creating the list of realistic attitudes, start implementing them on a daily basis. New habits are formed when we replace old ones with more positive options that fit easily into our routines-so adopt more positive practices to gradually eliminate the negative ones.
Anyone who wants to be more punctual, for example, could decide to wake up five minutes earlier every day
Method 2 of 3: Developing Positive Characteristics
Step 1. Don't neglect your needs.
As Maslow demonstrated in his famous pyramid, human beings have a variety of psychological needs that influence behaviors and the ways we react to different situations, including: power and control, sense of belonging, love or affection, esteem, success and personal achievement.
- Be aware of your own needs and how they affect your behaviors - then you can understand how each one influences your relationships.
- Needs are the engine of motivation, so, in addition to facing more conflicts on a daily basis, you may feel unmotivated, frustrated and stressed when you don't have your own needs met.
Step 2. Adopt a more positive mindset
Positivity is essential to a good personality, so get into the habit of paying more attention to the good in people and situations rather than focusing on the reasons for criticizing each one. When things go wrong, look for what can change, rather than wasting time thinking about circumstances beyond your control.
- Just as a positive mindset is attractive, the opposite is also true: a negative attitude tends to repel others.
- Cultivating a positive mindset doesn't mean being happy all the time or taking pleasure in bad situations, but being able to focus on the good side of things, doing whatever you can to improve the situation.
Step 3. Cultivate personal hobbies and interests
Explore a variety of activities and passions to maintain a balanced personality, and if you already have a few hobbies, set aside a daily or weekly time for each. If you feel that new knowledge can improve your personality, start studying one or two things you've always wanted to learn - study on your own or look for courses in your city.
- A person who feels they have been wasting most of their time and energy at work, for example, could take a dance or cooking class to improve their work-life balance.
- Courses, clubs and study groups are great ways to meet new people and expand your horizons.
Step 4. Have a purpose
Most people with strong, attractive personalities feel they have some kind of mission in life. So think about what you want to accomplish and set some goals to help you get there - avoid wasting time on things that aren't really important to you.
These life goals don't have to be big and impressive, as long as they have personal meaning
Step 5. Learn the most
Keeping yourself well-informed is another key element of a good personality, so read newspapers and magazines to keep up with major world events. If you have a specific interest, such as history or technology, read books or watch documentaries on the subject.
When talking to someone, you'll have no trouble finding topics if you're up to date with world news
Step 6. Cultivate an appearance that reflects your personality
How we dress, do our hair, and how we behave can say a lot about who we are, so make sure you maintain good posture, wear clean, appropriate clothes, and, most importantly, take pride in your appearance.
If you're not happy with your image, invest in something that boosts your self-confidence, like nicer clothes or a new haircut - it doesn't have to be expensive
Method 3 of 3: Strengthening Interpersonal Skills
Step 1. Smile
When we smile, we give the immediate impression that we are friendlier, nicer and more trustworthy. In addition, smiling can improve mood and promote a more positive mindset, making interactions with other people even easier.
Don't try to smile all the time, as it won't feel natural - smile when greeting or talking to someone
Step 2. Seek professional help
Sometimes we need a little push to improve our communication skills - people with mental disorders such as social anxiety and borderline personality disorder, for example, may need the help of a therapist or coach to be able to better interact with the world, developing relationships more solid. How we communicate with others has a significant impact on the quality of our relationships.
You may be able to get professional help in individual or group therapy sessions. The types of treatment most used in these situations are dialectical behavior therapy (psychotherapy) and mindfulness training, and the aim is to teach skills that will help you be more considerate and thoughtful in your daily interactions, rather than reacting to them. emotions and stress in a negative way
Step 3. Listen carefully
Show interest in others and focus on what they have to say, taking into account each person's body language and tone of voice. Ask questions to keep the conversation flowing and learn more about your partner.
You'll have more satisfying conversations when you're really interested in the other person, and that means they're also more likely to like you
Step 4. Display good manners
Follow the basic rules of etiquette and be polite to everyone; never forgetting the basics like saying “please” and “thank you” and not interrupting someone else when they're talking.
Look for a book on etiquette in your neighborhood library or search online for tips if you need to improve your manners
Step 5. Don't be a gossip
Gossip conveys an image of futility and insecurity, in addition to being a great risk to your relationships, even the most important ones, as it damages the trust that your loved ones place in you. Don't say anything behind someone's back that you wouldn't dare say to their face.
Change the subject if someone else wants to talk bad about someone - try asking something innocent, like "What are your plans for the weekend?"
Step 6. Help others
Whenever possible, strive to do a favor or improve someone's day - you will feel satisfied with yourself, and others will come to see you as caring and trustworthy.