Have you always wanted to be the cool guy who always seems to do the right thing? Or are you trying to be the cool girl who flows through life with ease and grace? If you think of all the people who are cool, they have several characteristics in common: they are confident, unique, and generally friendly to everyone. There's no reason why you shouldn't be that way. There is no true universal definition of how to be cool, but here are some guidelines to help you get started.
Part 1 of 3: Acting Cool
Step 1. Don't be needy
Remember that cool people are not needy or desperate, hopelessly. Instead, try to solve problems for yourself whenever you can. If you are not needy, people will want to help you or will ask for your help. This quality attracts people. Lack is disappointing unless you are really in a difficult situation. This doesn't mean that you should act like someone invincible: just don't beg others for help; don't act like you can't be alone; and don't even expect others to solve problems that belong to you.
- Friendships are great, but don't act like you're going to die if you have to spend a Friday night alone. Having a time of solitude at home is also great.
- If someone didn't answer you, give up. No need to keep sending boring text messages. Give the person space and they will respect you even more.
Step 2. Be yourself
This will be something other people will admire. You are unique, and you don't need to join a small group. Make your own friends. Being cool is being able to be yourself in an uninhibited way, even when you're quiet but not dark and passive-aggressive. Don't try to be like others. live life for whom you It's. Don't lose yourself or your morals. Being cool isn't about changing who you are, it's about being confident enough to make others see how awesome your personality is.
- If you don't allow people to see your true personality, what's the point of all this? Getting to be yourself and having people who still appreciate you is the coolest thing ever.
- Write a list of the goals you have. What essentially makes you cool is your identity. Try to find your talent – sport, music, art, whatever. People will notice your passion and respect for it. You could also learn new skills and meet different people by trying out different activities.
Step 3. Practice self-disclosure
The more you reveal yourself, the better you will understand yourself. Revealing yourself is both a conscious and a subconscious activity. This can include – but is not limited to – thoughts, feelings, aspirations, goals, failures, successes, fears, dreams, as well as likes, dislikes and favorite things.
Self-disclosure happens slowly. Don't tell the first person you meet at a party all about your personal life. Otherwise, things will get ugly pretty quickly
Step 4. Be friendly but not overly anxious
Everyone loves someone uninhibited, but no one likes overly excited people. Many people think that someone who is overly anxious is boring. Try not to force your presence among others. Smile and start conversations, but make sure you know the line between friendly and obsessive. When meeting a different person, take it easy, even if they are your half of the orange.
- You can seem like a friendless person if you seem too eager to go out with someone.
- You can give someone a friendly compliment, but don't go on saying how awesome that person is for half an hour.
Step 5. Be a good conversationalist
Everyone loves someone who knows what to say at the right time. Don't dominate the conversation. You don't need to share a similar story for every case. Just listen and briefly comment on the other person's story. Most of the time, it's much better to be silent and analyze the conversation, enjoying your friends' moods and being a good listener.
- Most people want to talk about themselves. If you keep the conversation focused on others, people will love talking to you. So, wait for the right moment to comment, which will generate great results. However, if you find yourself in the middle of a silent group of people, it's best to take the Tony Stark approach.
- Be fun! Make jokes. Making fun of others is acceptable, but make sure you know the limits of those close to you. Not everyone will accept jokes.
Step 6. Avoid using too many colloquialisms
This can make you appear "fake" or unable to master your respectful language. Speak normally, clearly and confidently and, if you feel the need, adopt a more formal language and use polysyllabic words. Don't overdo it though, as this can make you look pretentious. This is worse than looking fake.
Finding the right balance in your speech is important to appearing smart and sophisticated in the presence of your partners
Step 7. Use humor
Cool people always use humor and calm in any situation. They don't get upset and nervous. They are also not hard hit by bad things that happen to them. They have excellent emotional control and don't allow bad emotions to affect them. They have incredible emotional control and are understanding.
- Learn to laugh at yourself. Being cool doesn't mean being perfect, and being able to find humor in moments of discomfort or bad acts is definitely a characteristic of cool people. People will not only respect you for that, they will also admire you for being human – as will they.
- You can be cool and you can be too cool. People who are too cool take themselves too seriously to laugh at silly but funny jokes. Don't be that person.
Step 8. Speak what you think.
Watch cool people; they usually speak confidently and clearly, at a good pace. They don't whisper quickly, pause, say uh, um… or mumble. They say what they want, and they want what they say. Be confident in your word and don't let others try to change it. If you give your opinion and people disagree, don't worry.
- You said what you felt and people respected you for it, unless that you have said something knowing it will offend someone. However, make your words count. Don't shout your opinion just to be heard. Make sure it is relevant and ready to reinforce it soundly.
Step 9. Keep your calm
The definition of being cool is: someone calm, calm, in control, not very excited, indifferent and socially fit. Often, cool people are the ones who don't get excited about things – they don't always need to talk unless they have something nice to say. Learn to deal with people. Don't be nervous or frustrated. Being cool is natural. It's easy to do. Be confident.
- Occasionally, people who try to be cool are sabotaging themselves by trying too hard. People like people who act naturally, yet succeed. How does it work? One of the secrets of being cool is this: No one is really trying if they're really trying.
- Breathe deeply. Being cool is staying relaxed and comfortable under any circumstances. Don't lose your mind. If you feel like you're about to lose your mind, burst into tears, or lose control, take a deep breath and apologize. Stay calm.
Step 10. Don't use bad behavior to get attention
There are many people who smoke, drink, bully and other bad habits. Most of the time this is the result of negative influences. After doing something bad, a person can be “rewarded” with attention. “I can't believe he did this!” some will say. It's easy to confuse attention with popularity, even when it's generated by something wrong. If you want to be cool, you'll need to know your limits.
- You should never replace your cool behavior with negative attention. Most of the time, people who tell you how they broke the law and got their face full of beer are not cool. If a group of people doesn't like you for your attitudes and your lifestyle, walk away from them.
- Do not use drugs. Really cool people know how to be cool without the influence of drugs and alcohol.
- Don't smoke – it won't make you look cool, but it will make you smell bad. Other smokers do not notice the odor because they are used to it. It is likely that you only have the company of other smokers with you if you smoke, and this limits your selection of boyfriends and girlfriends. Most non-smokers hate the smell of cigarettes and will not want to get close to you. Don't judge smokers - just don't get into the habit and you will eventually help someone else quit.
- Never argue. When you're cool, arguing is always off your agenda. You understand that winning an argument is useless. You know you're right and that's it. There is no need to waste time, effort, and energy trying to persuade someone who has never seen the things you have seen.
Step 11. Don't think – do
It's great to read books and blogs about self-help, but you need to stand up and apply theories that resonate with you. Machete! It's scary but refreshing. Who knows who you'll meet and what that person might offer? (Fun, intellectual stimulation, a pony ride, a job…)
- Be an action person, not an idea person.
- Of course, thinking things through before acting is a great trait. But thinking about things and not doing them will get you nowhere.
Part 2 of 3: Thinking Cool
Step 1. Remember that others are your equals
Even a group of people is just like you. If you are talking to a potential employer, a group of wealthy people, a child, a stranger, the president, or an attractive guy/girl, for example, remember that such people are no better or worse than you. They must be treated the same way you are treated. Respect others, but expect the same treatment in response.
- When someone is disrespectful, ignore the person until he touches himself. Don't act as if you haven't heard the antagonist, but casually and conversationally disregard his assertions. There's a reason why he didn't show respect, or why he didn't do what was asked.
- People can be rude for being unhappy. Someone could have hurt them. You may have been disrespectful. Or, they don't know the right way to act around others. There is always a reason: be willing to meet him if you want the other to respect you.
Step 2. Realize that some people just don't get it
Even though it's incredible to surprise others with your intelligence, occasionally people will come along who won't understand you. They will look at you and ask you to clarify your reference in pop culture. Does not matter. The fascinating thing about human beings is that they are so different from each other.
The sense of humor varies a lot. If you're getting blank stares, be polite, apologize and report any embarrassment later at a stand-up show
Step 3. Have faith in your friends
There's a reason they walk with you. The personal characteristics you have may be what they hold dear. Allow them to decide instead of presenting an incomplete version of themselves to the world. If you want to be cool, you have to believe that others around you genuinely like you and find your relationship meaningful.
Remember, it's not very nice hanging out with people you think are cool just to be "osmosis-cooled." Life doesn't work that way
Step 4. Don't be afraid to be different
Regardless of whether this means speaking for yourself, standing up for someone, or being interested in something different and that doesn't interest anyone else – like playing an instrument: try to be different and stand out. The coolest people are those who occasionally swim against the tide and question the status quo of others. Insecure people will occasionally be jealous of you. These people will try to annoy you, in an attempt to steal the attention you attract.
The important thing is not to smile in moments of weakness: just ignore them. Don't act as if you haven't heard the antagonist, but casually and conversationally disregard his assertions
Step 5. Be mindful of yourself
There is a difference between allowing the judgments of others to affect your self-esteem and being aware of how your presence is noticed by others. Your real goal here is to be aware of how you look in the eyes of others. In terms of physical appearance, be careful with: food stuck in your teeth; bad breath; bad smell; toilet paper stuck in the shoe; etc. In terms of composure: be cheerful; sit/walk well postured (this makes you look more confident); smiled generously; be polite and considerate; etc.
- Definitely be aware of your body language at all times. Analyzing body language can be a useful tool for knowing how to present yourself.
- Knowing how you act at school, during a football match, or at a party can help you understand what people think about your attitude. Then you can adjust your actions accordingly. This doesn't mean you need to change your personality – however, at a party, it's good to notice if you're completely dominating a conversation, making even the most boring ones back off a bit.
Step 6. Relax.
Serious. Constantly telling yourself that you don't like socializing creates anxieties that affect your mind during the next conversation with someone. You end up focusing on your anxieties, and everything starts to revolve around personal satisfaction. If you're always nervous about what can go wrong in a social situation, you won't be able to appreciate the things that are going right.
- If you are nervous or anxious, other people will be able to indicate this, and they will feed on your nervous energy, creating even more anxiety. Instead, remain calm and allow others to feel calmer in your presence. Then you will attract them.
- It's okay to unburden yourself to a trusted friend once in a while. Just don't earn the reputation of being a person who is always freaking out.
Part 3 of 3: Looking cool
Step 1. Present yourself positively
Walk with good posture and look others in the eye. If you keep looking at your feet, people won't respect you. You need to look confident to receive the respect you need. Don't walk too fast as this can make it look like you're running away.
He used to smile. Be a smiling person, displaying genuine smiles all the time. Smiling when you meet someone, you instantly look confident, friendly and relaxed. Relaxed, friendly confident people are much more attractive than depressed people
Step 2. Get in shape
Getting in shape will boost your self-esteem and make you look at the world in a positive light. That doesn't mean you need a six pack abs to be cool. Still, taking care of the body is definitely cool. Try to exercise regularly, go to the gym, or play a sport to keep yourself in good shape. Eat healthy. Having the energy to get involved in a lot of things is something that doesn't always come from birth, so exercise. You will see results if you work hard.
Know that you will never be able to please everyone. Train hard, but don't be concerned about judging yourself or being judged by others. People will seek to annoy you in a million ways. Learn to detect them and become immune. Be happy with yourself and do what you think is best
Step 3. Practice good hygiene
Make sure you brush your teeth every morning and every night. And whenever you can, even after every meal. Wear perfume (if you're a girl) but sparingly. Use just a little cologne (if you are a boy). Shower every day and use deodorant. Try to use lotions so that your skin is not dry and apply lip balm on dry lips. You should wash your face every morning to keep it fresh and pimple free.
You don't need to spend hours investing in the look every day to be cool. However, 20-30 minutes spent bathing and grooming won't kill you
Step 4. Project confident body language
If you want to look cool, your body will need to project confidence at all times. If you're talking to someone, make eye contact, use your hands to gesture, and sit/stand with good posture. Smile, even if you are feeling a little nervous. Do not make nervous movements with your hands or look at the floor when talking to someone – otherwise, the other person will not believe your words.
Step 5. Find your own style
As long as your personality shines, you can wear whatever you want. Guys are known for getting girlfriends even though they wear sweaters all the time. Some of the silly and "cool" guys get girlfriends because each one defines what is "nice" differently. This is definitely the best way to look cool.
You don't need to follow fashions to be cool: just look comfortable and happy in what you're wearing
- Remember to stay calm and calm. This means not getting overly excited, not yelling in an annoying way, and not being needy.
- Find a way to love learning. The coolest people do a lot of really cool things.
- Get out of there. Do things. Practice a sport. Go to a club. The more you go out and the less you stay at home, the more you socialize with people and have fun.
- If being teased is your concern, know and understand that seem affected by this is precisely what separates the cool ones from the others. This is your chance to be perceived as cool. Know that who you really are is not determined by others, especially if they don't know you. Be happy with yourself for who you are, as there is nothing wrong with your true personality.
- be vain to the point of narcissism not It's cool. However, on the other hand, personal magnetism usually uses humility and acceptance/agreement; appreciation; mutual enthusiasm or joy for: a musical genre, a belief (such as faith), self-denial, and charismatic leadership.
- Don't wait for others to ask you out. They are waiting for you. Invite them. And be prepared. Don't invite them to something when you don't know what to do. This is truly disappointing for your friends, and they won't want to come back again.
- Change your attitude - if you have a negative attitude, change it. Cool people have a positive attitude. When people get to know you and notice that you have an optimistic eye on things, even when they don't work out, they will enjoy your company.
- Learn to understand people and be patient when sharing an opinion. Understand that what you say to someone is just your opinion. Either they will accept or reject, you don't need to force them to accept. Just make sure you know what you're talking about.
- Be respectful of others. Don't argue or appear authoritative if you feel the other person is wrong. Everyone has their own views, no matter how varied they are.
- Don't base your personality on making others look silly. You will make enemies, not friends. People will not like someone who is bossy or hits someone all the time. They might be scared, but they won't respect you.
- Always stand by people, and don't tease others, because being cool means being adored by everyone, including those who aren't popular like you.
- Don't look down on others. Being a narcissist is not "nice".
- Some people are not good influences for you. You can “be cool” without being part of a more popular group.