Self-esteem and relationship satisfaction can drastically decrease if you notice an occasional lack of physical affection from your girlfriend. If that's your case, the solution is to try to make her more content and at ease, so that the kisses and hugs start to happen spontaneously. To do this, show more affection, become more romantic and always be there for whatever comes and goes. It's also very important to hear her point of view on physical contact, so that the two of you can reach a compromise that favors the relationship as a whole.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Communicating with your girlfriend
Step 1. State your wishes
Open up to her about your expectations regarding dating. Tell them honestly that you would like more kisses and hugs. However, on the other hand, explain that you value and respect her feelings and opinions and that you don't want to pressure her or make her uncomfortable with the situation.
- As you talk about your expectations in the relationship, you strengthen the bonds and build solid foundations of trust and mutual respect.
- Try to start like this: “I would be very happy if we could exchange more kisses, hugs and cuddles. Would you be comfortable with that?”.
Step 2. Wait for spontaneous approval
Never touch or kiss your girlfriend until you know clearly if she is okay with it. So it's important to have that conversation suggested in the previous Step.
- Don't pressure her to get what you want. If consent comes in a forced way, it is not valid, as it needs to be spontaneous.
- If she asks you to stop doing something, stop immediately. However, once you stop, it's okay to ask her what went wrong.
Step 3. Take a body language reading
This way, it will be possible to better identify what your girlfriend is feeling, especially when she is not comfortable expressing herself verbally. This is true even in situations where you received a spontaneous approval to play it. To make sure she's enjoying the moment as much as you are, stop what you're doing as soon as you see that she:
- He tried to push him away;
- He crossed his arms in front of him;
- He turned his face away from her;
- He stiffened his body;
- Stopped making eye contact;
- Changed the subject of conversation;
- It was quiet or immobile;
- Started to cry.
Step 4. Ask why she has been away
In case she has become less affectionate than she used to be, try talking to her. Often, honest conversation is enough to resolve a relationship issue.
Say, for example, “I love it when we're together, hugging and kissing, but you don't seem to like it anymore. Is there something wrong or a problem that I can help you solve?”
Part 2 of 3: Showing affection
Step 1. Treat her with love and care
Show that you care and that you think about her when you are not together. Being a considerate boyfriend encompasses many details, from holding her hand to helping her with general chores. Behave this way regularly, however, without exaggeration, so that she doesn't get suffocated or feel forced to reciprocate.
- Offer to hold her hand while they're out walking or watching a movie together.
- Send a happy message when you notice she is sad. For example: “Hi, kitten! I'm thinking of you".
- If she's bogged down with household chores, offer to help.
Step 2. Praise her often
Remind her of the little things you appreciate about her. For example, when you think she looks particularly pretty or when you're happy to see her again, remember to say what you're thinking.
- About her dress, say: “What a beautiful dress! It suits you a lot! It's going to rock in the summer!”.
- Regarding the new haircut, say: “You cut your hair! This cut further highlighted its beauty!”.
- When she achieves something important, praise her like this: “I'm so proud! I knew you could do it!”.
- The best compliments are the simplest, like "Your eyes are beautiful" or "When you smile, my heart races." Always be honest.
- Try not to be too cheesy. Instead of “You're the sweetest candy in the world, my candy”, prefer “I'm so lucky to have you”.
Step 3. Make surprises
When you go out to meet her, don't forget to bring a gift. It could be something simple, like a candy bar or a funny card. This is a way to show interest and affection.
- Try sharing a meal with her. Discover your girlfriend's favorite foods and prepare a dinner or lunch – even better if it's a surprise.
- Write a beautiful letter to her from time to time. Tell her how much you've thought about her and how special she is to you, but try not to be too corny.
- Pay attention to her tastes and try to give her something in the future. With this, she will know that, in addition to treating her with great affection, you listen to her when she is speaking.
Step 4. Walk away when she asks
Even if you resent the situation, it is essential to respect your girlfriend's decision and feelings, especially in relation to physical contact. The goal, however, is not to stop showing affection for her, just to do it in a way she finds appropriate.
Try to find a compromise between the level of affection you want to give and the amount of affection she wants to receive
Part 3 of 3: Becoming someone special to her
Step 1. Make her laugh
When you laugh together, you become more united and, as a result, more comfortable in each other's presence. Learn new jokes from friends or on the internet and, when possible, create your own inside jokes.
- Play together. Imitate famous characters and people, enact funny moments that occur in everyday life or invent jokes and funny phrases that only you will understand.
- Make fun of each other. However, if she doesn't like it, look for another target.
Step 2. Maintain good hygiene
Don't forget anything: clean, fragrant clothes, well-brushed teeth and refreshing breath (use dental floss and mouthwash). After showering, apply a perfume or aftershave.
- Don't overdo the perfume, deodorant or aftershave lotion, as the effect can be the opposite and repel your girlfriend.
- Take her opinion into account when choosing a perfume fragrance. Only use essences approved by her.
- Wash her hair regularly and let her play with it, as this is a great way to bond and increase the couple's intimacy (as long as you both agree to practice).
- Strive to always be clean and tidy. Even if you have a more laid-back style, it's still possible to look good.
Step 3. Plan special meetings
Make them happen in a spontaneous and exciting way. Show that you really care by preparing something you know she will like.
- See some examples of special gatherings: cinema, dinner, bowling, theater, zumba classes or some sports practice (skateboard, volleyball, etc.). Try to fit some special interest she has into the date.
- Ask her friends for help. When possible, try to organize a surprise birthday party with their or her family's help (provided you are intimate).
Step 4. Make her feel special
Treat your girlfriend as, in fact, you see her; that is: as the most important person in the world. In this way, she is likely to feel more special, loved, and consequently more comfortable and at ease within the relationship.
- Always keep practicing the small kindnesses: opening the door, asking her opinion, etc.
- When you see that she is in trouble, help her. Show that you care about her, whether it's helping her with homework, carrying something heavy for her, or looking for a belonging she has lost.
- Be there when she is sick. Bring her some hot soup and prepare a movie session for the two of them.
- Never forget to give flowers. However, don't wait for a special occasion, surprise her once in a while, even if it's just a simple rose.
Notices
- When in doubt, ask. If you suspect that she is not comfortable kissing or hugging you, propose a conversation and respect her decisions.
- Don't force public displays of affection. The same goes for private environments. That is, don't kiss or hug her until you know if that's what she wants.
- Don't praise her body as a whole. Prefer to compliment the eyes, hair, smile or clothes.